We love our children. However, despite so much love for them, there are always some imperfection which give us ‘sore eyes‘.

But the question is, “Do you see the ‘Good’ in every ‘Bad’ that you see in your child?”

I had mentioned in this post “Appetite Stimulant For Your Child?”  that I am unhappy with the rate Keatkeat is growing physically. I just measured my two boys’ height again. Being 18months apart, their height difference is only 2cm now. *pout*

The bad I see:

• Keatkeat is upset, when people ask me, “Are they twins?”
• Keatkeat is sad, when people ask, “Which one is GorGor?” (elder brother)
• Keatkeat is angry, when people point at Binbin and say, “Are you Gorgor?”
• Keatkeat is unhappy to be in the front row for 3 consecutive years in Primary school.

I kept telling him, “Eat more, jump more and stay happy. Eventually you will grow taller, MUCH taller than Binbin. But most importantly, you must be healthy.”

Well, he did all of that. He ate more. He jumped around and stayed happy, but this formula does not seem to be working.

Then I learned from my sister’s MIL that if I want my boys to shoot up in height, I should try her formula; and looking at her 3 tall boys, I think its worth the try. *wink*

She said, “Buy peanut roots. Put it in water with spare ribs. Boil it. Let the children drink them as soup. BUT the most important point to note is, only let them drink it during their PUBERTY period. Not earlier, nor later.”

Alright, puberty period eh? Hhhmmm….4 more years to go… I can wait. So in the meantime, Keatkeat would need to bear with the comments from others.

Because he is unhappy with his height, I am upset too and over time, I start to see it as a flaw and could not find any good in his small built, until last week….

Keatkeat was in a great mood that day when we fetched Binbin home from school. He said to his younger brother, “Binbin, you are tired after school, I ‘ko-ko-meh’ you (piggy back), you want?”

And he piggy back-ed the younger brother WITH HIS SCHOOL BAG as well! *faint*

We decided to take the heavy school bag away and then Binbin wanted to try to piggy back his elder brother. And they kept interchanging. *laugh*

I was too late to take out my camera phone to capture the moment when Keatkeat lifted Binbin first and could only start capturing when Keatkeat was on Binbin’s back.

What a waste! I was amazed at Keatkeat’s strength! With the weight of Binbin AND the weight of the school bag all on his tiny back. *jaws dropped*

Finally! I see the ‘GOOD’ in Keatkeat’s small size: So that they could piggy back each other! *laugh*

If Keatkeat’s built was the same as his peers, they would not have enjoyed this moment:

The ‘Good’ in Every ‘Bad’ that you see in Your Child

Its the same for weaning. Do it gradually. Do it when your child shows signs that he or she is ready for the change. If not, never force for convenience sake. Unless circumstances do not allow excess time for procrastination.

One year ago, my boys have been asking, “Mummy, when can I have my own bed?”

They had been sleeping on the floor all these years. Not literally of ‘cos!

They do not have their own beds, just mattresses on the floor. When their mattresses are placed on the floor beside our queen size bed, that is exactly the length of my room. So there are no inches left for any bed frames to fit into my room.

Thus I often reply, “Wait till Ah Yee gets married and moves out, then the two of you can put your beds in her big room.”

And so they waited.

Waited for the marriage proposal…
Waited for the confirmation of the wedding date…
Waited for the preparation days…
Waited for the final day…

Their many waits were over by 6th December 2011.

Keatkeat wanted to sleep in my sister’s room that very night she got married, but everyone was too tired to shift the furniture in her room when we reached home at 1:00am plus after the wedding dinner; so Keatkeat had to wait for another day.

7th December morning, we started to shift the furniture in my sis’s ex-room, but there was little we could do because most of her things were still intact. We just managed to shift enough for Keatkeat to move his mattress over to sleep on the floor.

The boys and I had a pact.
When they have their own room, I will stop sitting beside them and watch them enter into dreamland every night. Instead, I will hug and kiss them, tuck them in bed, say “Good Night” and leave them alone in the room.

Binbin was not as ready as his elder brother, so he continued to sleep in my room, while Keatkeat slept in his new room, which is big enough to fit almost 4 queen size beds, all by himself. *Grin*

Binbin still prefers to have me beside him, watching him falls asleep slowly… One hand and one leg on me, hugging me like a bolster….

So how was Keatkeat first night?

A little afraid.
So I took out my Little Twin Stars night light from my Little Twin Stars collectible box and ‘lend‘ it to him.
After that, he fell asleep on his own without any issue. *Thumbs Up*

8th December morning, Keatkeat told me that he had good dreams throughout the night. One of it was with his Ah Yee. Guessed he misses her dearly… Then he said to his younger brother, “Binbin, you should sleep in this room if you want to have good dreams. This room gives  you good dreams.”

Oh man! It worked!

Binbin made a decision there and then to sleep in their playroom cum bedroom that night.

So how was Binbin’s first night? PERFECT with the night light switched on.

9th December night.
Binbin refused to sleep and said he wanted me to lie beside him in the new room. I reminded him of our agreement. Expecting him to rebut me with his usual lengthy reasoning, instead he walked back into the room and fell asleep in less than 10mins. *Thumbs Up* Aaawww… my boy has really grown up….

There after, my 6 year old and 8 year old had been enjoying their room. They play there, sleep there, quarrel there, make up there… it IS their all in one room.

Though my Little Twin Stars night light is still needed to give Binbin that extra sense of security, I am happy that they are finally able to fall asleep without the need for me to be beside them.

*Thumbs Up*

Now, the next challenge would be the beds, which are coming this Saturday. Will they wake up in the middle of the night with their faces flat on the floor? *Shrugged*

We will find out after Saturday…

*fingers crossed*

End of Co-Sleeping Days

Parenting my 7 year old has been nothing but a a bed of roses with untrimmed thorns.

Bed of roses ~ totally amazed at how independent he has become and how he used that to help out in the family.

As for thorns, they are still making me bleed every single day.

In fact, ever since he started Primary school education last year, it has been an uphill struggle. My patience were tested over and over again. My creative parenting ideas were slammed with failure.

Am I defeated?
Well, I am not throwing in the towel yet.
It is a stage that every child has to go through. I have been there and done that too. Yes, this stage will pass. But my question is, this is also a stage where parents have to start molding the child, how can I let my child makes the most out of this stage without burning myself out?

ATTITUDE is the focus for any parent parenting 7 year old.

Attitude of the child, as well as attitude of the parent, both are just as important. When you think badly of your child, he will react even worse. So parent’s attitude is crucial too.

For the very first time, he challenged me…

He was doing his comprehension worksheet. It was a long answer and the two lines given on the worksheet were obviously insufficient for him to write his answer, no matter how small (the wordings) my 7 year old could write.

So I suggested, “Draw one more line in between that two lines, so that you have enough space to write the answer.”

Totally ignored me.
Keatkeat started to write the answer in super small handwriting.

I continued, “If you choose to write without drawing the extra line and if the space is insufficient, you will need to erase and write again.”

Showing Extreme Frustration, he picked up the ruler, clutched his pencil and drew a ‘here!-give-you-your-line.-now-shut-up’ kind of line. Totally crooked, slanted line; even though the ruler was placed on the paper. Then he glared at me, “Nah! Here’s your line!”

“Don’t give me that attitude!” I snapped.
I erased the awful line and said, “Fine! If you choose to write without drawing the extra line. Go Ahead!”

In the end, he could not squeeze his full answer in. In fact, he needed TWO extra lines to be drawn.

He looked at me after completing his sentence and said, “Ok! So you were right. Happy now?!”

Me: “Why did I ask you to draw the extra line?”
Keatkeat: “So that I can write the answer.”

Me: “After writing so much and realised you do not have enough space. How do you feel?”
Keatkeat: “Angry.”

Me: “When you were erasing your half written answer, how do you feel?”
Keatkeat: “Angry!”

Me: “Why are you angry?”
Keatkeat: “Because you are right again!”

Wow! Do you see that? My 7 year old wants to be ‘RIGHT’ or rather ‘BETTER’ than his Mother.

A clear sign of growing up. Significance and achievements have become a priority to him, regardless who he is against with.

Me: “What is the difference between an adult and a child?”
Keatkeat: “Age.”

Me: “An adult is older, which also means an adult has made more mistakes than a child. Yes?”
Keatkeat: “Yes.”

Me: “And from mistakes, we learn. Without making mistakes, we cannot be smarter. Yes?”
Keatkeat: “Yes.”

Me: “So why do you think I am right most of the time?”
Keatkeat: “Because you learn from your mistakes.”

Me: “Yes, I was once a child like you too. I was once a 7 year old. I made the same mistake as you in the past. I learnt from it. So I could tell that you needed to draw extra lines between that two lines given on the worksheet. Who do I want to help? Myself?”
Keatkeat: “No. You want to help me.”

Me: “Good. So can I continue to help you now?”
Keatkeat: “Ok.”

Me: “You missed out two words in your answer. Please erase and re-write.”
Keatkeat: “…………………”

But I think, the most significant event has to be THIS!

As stated in the ‘Teeth Development‘ post, Keatkeat is right on time for the Central Incisors to fall.

Two weeks ago, Keatkeat cried when he was halfway through his lunch. As parents, its tears on our son’s face, but a sword in our hearts. So loving Daddy wanted to end his misery earlier and attempted to pluck the Central Incisors out for Keatkeat. BUT FAILED! *laugh*

It was that shaky (above video) since last month. After the experience we had with his ‘First Shaky Tooth‘, the impatient father knew that visiting the dentist is not going to help. That was why he tried to BE the dentist!

Yesterday, while we were taking a break from our shopping, Keatkeat sat beside me and went, “Nih..Nih…” He was trying to balance his left tooth, on the tip of his tongue and preventing it from falling over.

Allan and I were so excited and kept praising our 7 year old boy.

I wrapped the fallen tooth nicely with tissue paper and in that split seconds, Keatkeat turned totally pale!

He was gagging and feeling giddy. So we ended our fun and went straight home.

There was no blood at all throughout the whole event. We were worried. But soon after an hour of rest at home, the active boy was back to normal and guess what? THE OTHER CENTRAL INCISOR FELL OFF TOO! *clap clap clap*

I guess the two central incisors are truly good friends. It was only an hour apart. One just cannot bear to leave the other. *laugh*

Now, Keatkeat giggles at his own pronounciation of ‘F’ and ‘S’….. it comes with extra wind and saliva too. *laugh*

What a memorable day! Its such a day that makes being a parent all worthwhile. *Grin*

For Allan and I, we are more concerned about our child’s character development. For kids at 5, it is very easy for them to ‘pick up’ things, be it good or bad. Peer pressure is the key, once the child starts schooling.

His teacher’s feedback was one of the nicest thing that any parent would want to hear:

“I have only been with this school for 3 terms. When I first came, everything was new to me. The environment, the teachers and the students. I was still wondering how much time would I need to ‘bland’ into the new place.

Zen was the only kid who made me feel comfortable then. He was the first child who made me feel welcome. He would report to me about his classmates, his feelings, his thoughts. Very few children would go to the teacher for a chat. Most students go to a teacher either for a complain or to seek help. But Zen comes to me like a friend and chats with me.

“Zen is a very special boy. He always gives surprises and thinks out of the box. His perception of things are very different from his peers, whom I have taught before.

For example, this picture, he told me, “Miss S., I did not draw my face because I am looking at the food on the shelf and this black colour is my hair.” I was impressed.

“He is always showing concern for his classmates and very observant. He can even tell me how many days each of his friends have been absent from school. Even I had to catch up with his level of preciseness.” Miss S. laughed.

*giggle*

Of course, without fail, like all the other teachers, Miss S. went on to commend that Binbin has no problem expressing himself. Binbin’s Chinese teacher elaborated on his extend of expressiveness, “Zheng Bing would show his affection by hugging his friends, regardless of their gender.”

It was a bonus too, to hear from the teachers that Binbin’s academic results fall into the ‘Average Group’. *smile*

We hope that Binbin will continue his expressiveness, so long as he does not start grabbing girls to kiss. *giggle*
Nah.
He would not.
He has already made it loud and clear that he allows only his Mommy to kiss him and be kissed by him. *wink*

How important is Your Child’s Character Development to you?