Binbin: “Of ‘cos NOT! My Primary 1 teacher is very fierce! She always tells us to be quiet for all periods. She always say “No Talking!” every time! She is very confusing. Always say “No Talking”, but she always asks us questions. I told her “When you ask us questions, we should not answer you because you always tell us not to talk.” “

Allan: “You REALLY told her that!?”

Binbin: “Ya! Of cos lah! She wants us to be quiet, but she asks us questions, how to be quiet and answer her questions?!”

Allan: “So what did the teacher say?”

Binbin: “She said “No, only when I ask questions then you talk.” “ And Binbin ROLLED HIS EYES!

No, no, no, he did not roll his eyes at the teacher. He rolled his eyes after he end his ‘story-telling’.

*laugh*

Kids Talk – “No Talking”

Me: “No, not always.”

Keatkeat: “No wonder! I know the reason why already.”

Me: “Why?”

Keatkeat: “His teacher did not give him time to look through before she starts to give ting-xie. So I told him to look through his ting-xie words during the short break time between every lesson, since his Chinese is not the first lesson.”

Me: “Good Advice!”

Keatkeat: “I also know how to help him remember the ting-xie words better. Can I give him ting-xie? So you can take a break? Wahhhh… I feel like I am Luo-Lao-Shi (teacher Loh).”

Me (laughed): “Sure! Go!”

After a few minutes….

Binbin: “Mummy! I don’t want GorGor to teach me ting-xie!”

Me: “Why?”

Binbin: “He keep saying ‘Try your best. You can do it.’ I don’t like! Very irritating!”

*Huge Laugh*

Me: “But its not shaking. Before it can drop, it needs to become shaky first. Remember Gorgor’s (big brother) tooth?”

Binbin: “But I know it is dropping!”

Me: “Why are you so sure?”

Binbin: “Because it tastes different!”

Me *laugh*: “How does a soon-to-drop tooth tastes like?”

Binbin: “It tastes like dirt! Like the sticky thing under the snail. Very slimy.”

Me *laugh*: “Oh! You mean you have tasted the slimy thing under the snail before? How do you know how it tastes like?”

Binbin: “I imagine lah!”

Me *laugh*: “Oh is it?! Then how does the other normal teeth taste like?”

Binbin: “Normal teeth taste like tooth taste lah!”

*laugh*

***for the sake of my non-Singaporean readers, ‘lah’ is an expressive word used by Singaporean. Check ‘Singlish‘ in Wikipedia.

The kids fought over my left hand. Both does not like to hold my right hand. I asked for the reason, but none could give me an answer. “I just like to hold your left hand.” They snapped!

Me to Allan: “Luckily, we stopped at two, if not I’ll have to fix more left hands to my body.”

Me to the children: “Why can’t you hold Papa’s left hand? You love him too, don’t you?”

Keatkeat: “Not so much.”

OOOPs!

Me: “Why?”

Keatkeat: “He keeps scolding us.”

Me: “But I scold you too.”

Keatkeat: “When you scold us, its like a joke.”

Binbin: “Ya! When you scold us, it makes me want to laugh! hahaha…”

*faint*

I have failed badly….*pout*

Keatkeat had asked, “Where did I come from?” at different developmental stages. When he was younger, a simple sentence like, “From Mommy’s tummy.” was good enough for his little curious mind.

As he grew older, a statement like, “You came out from Mommy’s ‘below’, just like my mensuration.” (He knows all about my mensuration and understands why it happens. Read this blog post if you want to know how I explained mensuration to them: “Mommy, You Got Blood!”)

But now, he needs more than just that. So here’s the in-depth.

We were watching a documentary on Pythons. The narrator was talking about mating.

Allan: “Keatkeat, what is mating?”

Keatkeat: “Make babies.”

Me: “Keatkeat, look, sperms!”

Keatkeat: “What’s sperms?”

Me: “Sperms come out from the penis. Can you see that little thing tickling the female snake? Do you know what is that?”

Keatkeat: “Don’t know.”

Me: “That is the male’s penis and they need to mate for 1 week.”

Keatkeat: “So does Papa tickle you with his penis for 1 week?”

I always remind myself NEVER to giggle or laugh when such topic is discuss. Many children find the subject sleazy and starts going “EEEeeeee….” or burst out giggling. I credit such uncalled for reactions to parents who failed to bring the subject across as a Biology subject or a Science lesson.

Parents find it embarrassing to talk about private organs to children. And believe me, kids can sense that awkwardness, which leads to the uncomfortable feeling radiated between the child and the parent. So parents, PLEASE bring it across to your child, as if you are teaching your child to understand the work of God and of mother nature and NOT as if you are talking about pornography.

Me: “Adults and animals are different. Adults do not need 1 week. So when the sperm meets the egg in the female, babies are formed.”

Keatkeat: “Oh! So I need Papa and you to make me.”

Me: “So without Papa and Mommy, you will not be here. Papa alone or Mommy alone cannot make babies. So do you think you should love Papa or Mommy alone?”

Keatkeat: “No. Must love Papa AND Mommy.”

I know the next (level of) question will come soon… but for now, these are good enough. Remember, NEVER Over provide ‘answers’ if they are not asked, especially when dealing with young children. When the time comes for more explanations, they will ask….

Till then, so long as they are satisfied with simple answers, keep it that way. *smile*