All About Your Child http://allaboutyourchild.com Understanding Your Child Eliminates Frustrations in Parenting Fri, 22 Jan 2016 00:41:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.17 Handling a Teenager http://allaboutyourchild.com/parenting/handling-a-teenager http://allaboutyourchild.com/parenting/handling-a-teenager#comments Fri, 22 Jan 2016 00:41:40 +0000 http://allaboutyourchild.com/?p=11962 Started blogging since 2007 and never regretted a single bit!
Its been more than 8 years!
Whoo-hoo!
*clap clap clap*

Ooops! Before I rattled on about how I am handling my dear teenager, I must say…………..
Happy 2016 everyone!
*laugh*
Well, I know we are already into the 22nd day of the year, but hey! never too late!

Wrote down your new year resolutions already?
I did!
Hope everyone will have a wish-fulfilling year!

Ok, back to what I wanna say.
Started blogging when Kitkit was 3 plus years old….awwww…. the love and hate year! *laugh* Not easy to handle his tantrums and the jealousy whenever I held Binbin, the hyper active toddler then.
Now, with Kitkit starting his teenage journey, its another round of challenge.
ATTITUDE! is the big issue now.

We had never bicker so much in the past!
Unless its harmful to his health or body, I would usually let him have his way. However, this time round, its different. He reasons with me. Well, I must say some made sense and some are just being unreasonable-reasons! He rolled his eyes often, give the ‘big sigh’ every now and then, as if he is being chained from head to toes and not forgetting the constant ‘tsk’ too!
Everything started just before PSLE (maybe he matured earlier) and now, I can see that ‘attitude’ blooming and it seems like its far from being full bloom.

I kept telling myself, its because he is getting lots of stress from his teachers, from school and himself too during the PSLE period; so I was extremely patient and in many occasions, I just forced myself to zip my lips. But that unwelcome ‘attitude’ did not change much even after the mega examination was over and I knew he was in his rebellious teenage years.

My parenting belief before I had kids till now (I have a kid and a teenager) has not changed : What was I like when I was at that age and how would I want to be treated by my parents?

So my mind went back in time to search for teenage Angeline….
And I realised it became easier to handle Kitkit.
Afterall, he IS MY SON!
There are more ways than one that we are very much alike.

Whenever he goes against what I instructed, be it on purpose or not, I would take a deep breath, lowered the ‘internal heat’ in me first, and asked him for the reason WHY he is not doing what he was being told to do. On my lucky days, he would give a reason. On my unlucky days, I will get “Because I like it.” *fiery eyes*

When I was a teenager, one thing I disliked most is restrictions. The more I am being restricted, the more rebellious I became. I guess, its not too different for my dear Kitkit as well. So what is really working for us now is negotiation. Sometimes he wins the negotiation and sometimes I do. I seriously do NOT believe in ‘Whatever Mummy says is right’ kind of parenting. I belief teenagers should be educated on the consequences of every action. Saying “No”, without saying “Why No.” just won’t stick into the head of a teenager. Saying “No” alone probably will last like some post-it-pad and not a super glue. Let them know the consequences, give them the power to decide and teach them to take responsibility of their own decision. Sometimes, when we let go, they choose to follow.

Parenting is to guide, not to guard.
Parenting is to reason, not to restrict.
Parenting is an act of love, not an act of authority.

So far, the methods I’m using are working for me (for now) while that ‘attitude’ is still blooming…not sure if what I am doing now can handle a full bloom ‘attitude’.
I am happy for now……at least he is still willing to hold my hand….

Happy Parenting! *wink*

hh

Handling a Teenager

 

 

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Last few Attempts for Better PSLE Grades http://allaboutyourchild.com/school-study/last-few-attempts-for-better-psle-grades http://allaboutyourchild.com/school-study/last-few-attempts-for-better-psle-grades#comments Fri, 25 Sep 2015 15:13:07 +0000 http://allaboutyourchild.com/?p=11942 This whole year had been a torturing year for Kitkit. The pressure from school, the teachers and himself weighed so much on his small shoulders…. I see him choosing the ‘take flight’ option.

With so much stress, I tried to give him time to play as and when he can squeeze out time from all the piles of work assigned by the school. I needed him to relax.

However, I realised it was difficult to get him to do revision after his school work had been completed. So I decided to let both boys write out a time-table and commit to it. I told them that the aim is to have time for school work, revision, as well as play!

Yes, my focus is on Kitkit.
Yet, it would be pointless to let Kitkit do this alone; ‘cos no matter how many times they say, “I don’t want to play with you anymore.” They remain as playmates. Ha! Siblings! *eyes rolled*
Therefore, it is important that both of them sit down and plan their time-table together, so that they can discuss when should their playtime be.
In that way, they will motivate each other to complete work faster.
Thus I save my breath through fruitless nagging. *evil grin*

 

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Binbin felt it was more like a game, but Kitkit was dead serious in planning WHEN and HOW MUCH time he gets to play. *laugh*
Both are the product of Allan and I, but they are poles apart; inside out and outside in!

Since then, they had been sticking to what they committed to do.
*Thumbs Up*
Even so, I realised Kitkit was doing the motion and not really absorbing whatever that was being revised.
I needed that spark in his eyes to lit up again.
So we had a good heart-to-heart talk last month and I was surprised by his response.

He missed his Science Tutor from last year!!!!

That was a shocker for me!!!!
I stopped his Science Tuition since the beginning of this year because I noticed how little free time he had for himself to relax and since his Science results had always been ‘Up There’, I thought continuing Science Tuition would be a burden. Little did I know that it was actually the power switch to a downward spiral engine for every other subjects.

Please don’t ask me why does it have impact on English, Chinese and Maths, ok?!
I don’t know!
Kitkit just felt there was nothing to look forward to anymore in studies.
Its amazing what a strong impact a good teacher (of ONE subject) can do to a student.

Though we are left with such a short time PLUS her super tight schedule (She is REALLY that GOOD! If you remember the blog post I wrote last year!), she agreed to squeeze out some time for Kitkit for a ‘crash revision’.
Super grateful!
And Kitkit requested to CONTINUE having Science tuition during the year end school holidays to prepare him for Secondary School!
Un…Un…Un..Unbelievable!!!!

But its just not good enough to ‘rescue‘ his Science only and let the other subjects ‘drown‘.
Thus I had been hoping to find a ‘magic wand’ that can really open Kitkit’s mind and heart before PSLE.

You know, life is pretty amusing.
When you start looking for something, that something actually come looking for you!
I got to know of this group of coaches that do not focus on tuition, but rather incorporate skill sets with mindset.
The moment I knew they had a 2hour preview, I signed up straight away.

We went…… Today.
Through videos, games and interaction, the coach showed how to set goals, why set goals, and gave practical and useful tips which we find it easy to remember and apply to real exam questions on the spot! (Yes WE! I had to do what my boys did too.)
How much did we pay?
NOTHING!!!!
Totally Amazing Experience!

Sadly, though Kitkit and I benefited from that 2 hours, Binbin finds that its a total waste of his time.

Anyway, my focus was on Kitkit.
With that determined look on his face after he left the room, it was definitely NOT a waste of my time!
Did you know, he even agreed to abandon his beloved mobile phone from tomorrow onwards till his PSLE is over!!!
* Shock x100 *
While we were on the way home, we discussed what we can put into action right away, starting tomorrow!
This feeling is sooooooo good!!!

Have you heard of the Importance cum Urgency grid before?
For me, from now till 5th October, there is only 1 thing in my Important & Urgent section : Help Kitkit As Much As He Wants for PSLE!!!

important

 

5 more days to PSLE!
C’mon Kitkit!!!
So long as you don’t give up, the grades won’t give you up!
Jiayou!!!

 

Last few Attempts for Better PSLE Grades

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Washing & Hanging Their Own Clothes http://allaboutyourchild.com/parenting/washing-hanging-their-own-clothes http://allaboutyourchild.com/parenting/washing-hanging-their-own-clothes#comments Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:54:07 +0000 http://allaboutyourchild.com/?p=11920 It dawned onto me yesterday that my boys could hang their own clothes years ago, yet have not learned how to operate the washing machine!
Alas!
I taught them the harder chore first before the easier one. *laugh*
What a mummy!

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So yesterday, the boys finally learned how to switch on the washing machine, which buttons to press, how many times should they press on each button and what buttons NOT to press too!
How much laundry will fit the washing machine and how much detergent to use as well.

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Allan and I are slowly letting go of our duties and handing over to our boys, which in my opinion is considered slow compared to my progress when I was their age.

However, that’s me, not them.
Every child is different. Every child learns at different pace. I always believe that kids should be taught new things when they are ready, mentally and physically.

 
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Watching them putting the laundry into the washing machine, taking them out one at a time (after the load has been washed), laying them on the bamboo, securing them with clothes pegs and finally lifting the bamboos up to the holders… every step they made just warms my heart.
My boys are growing up so fast and well.
I glad I didn’t miss their milestones and had been there to watch them grow over the past 9 years.

 
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Being a Stay-At-Home-Mum for 9 years now…. Totally worth it!

 

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Kids Talk : Why I Don’t Care About My Studies http://allaboutyourchild.com/kids-talk/kids-talk-why-i-dont-care-about-my-studies http://allaboutyourchild.com/kids-talk/kids-talk-why-i-dont-care-about-my-studies#comments Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:22:28 +0000 http://allaboutyourchild.com/?p=11918 The tiring days as a Primary 5 kid (last year) and the dreadful PSLE (this year) made me lose mood to blog.
I did not want my blog to be all sad and gloomy the whole time, so I rather not ‘talk’.
It was both an emotionally and physically tiring months…weeks…days.

My sky-falls-down-like-blanket-covering Kitkit seldom laugh out loud anymore.
But today…… yes at night, I finally see the happy Kitkit again when we went to Chinatown for a stroll.
Babbling his crow-flying-jokes and nonsensical topics …

This one is my favourite:

Kitkit used his knee to press the big round button at the traffic light.
He lost his balance and hit his knee against it instead.
Kitkit: “Ouch Ouch Ouch….” grabbing his knee
Me: “Kitkit, don’t you think its weird doing that?”
Kitkit: “Mummy did you know that people who have the least number of friends and are weird are usually the smartest in the world?”
Me: “So are you saying you are going to continue doing weird stuff?”
Kitkit: “Ya!”
Me: “Since that makes you one of the smartest in the world, why is your school results ‘like that’ leh?”
Kitkit: “So long as I don’t get a U-grade, I don’t care. Studying in school is just not my thing. Look at Einstein with that crazy stick-tongue-out facial expression and Vincent van Gogh, who cut off his own ears. They are weird. But they are so smart!”
Me: Save my breath on repeating lengthy lectures….
*eyes rolled*

I know too many people that are school dropouts but are so successful in life now.
So, I am not gonna argue either.
However, with his attitude towards studies and PSLE, I can only cross my fingers and toes and arms and whatever that is cross-able….that he will get a seat in Secondary School.

Good Luck my little weird son.

Kids Talk : Why I Don’t Care About My Studies

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Tooth Fairy Come Come Come… http://allaboutyourchild.com/development-stages/tooth-fairy-come-come-come http://allaboutyourchild.com/development-stages/tooth-fairy-come-come-come#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2015 14:20:35 +0000 http://allaboutyourchild.com/?p=11906 Though my boys are well aware that the so-called Tooth Fairy is none other than their mother, aka me, they still look forward to find a $1 coin, under their pillow, when they wake up the following day.
tooth3
Kitkit came home after school with a gift for me in his hand today.
The moment I opened the door for him, he stretched out his right arm with his index finger and thumb holding onto his pearlie tooth, “Nah!” . Then gave me that ‘I Remembered to wash it and bring it home…’ kind of look. *laugh*

Yes, I collect their baby teeth.
I do not have a nice album to keep them in, but I do keep them safely anyway.

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Binbin last tooth-fall was very dramatic.
I still remember it fell after Kitkit gave Binbin a playful-punch in the face last year.
Before I opened my mouth to scold my elder one, Binbin jumped to fend his brother, “Gor gor didn’t really punch me. We were just playing.”

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With no fuss whatsoever, my then 9-year-old rushed to the basin to rinse his mouth and took extra effort to make sure his tooth did not fall into the drainage. He REALLY WANTED his $1 !!! *laugh*

Are you your child’s tooth fairy too¬† ?

Tooth Fairy Come Come Come…

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