All About Your Child

I cannot find a word to describe how glad I am that this day is FINALLY OVER!
It was a roller coaster day for me…largely on the emotional side.

1st Roller Coaster

Allan [shaking me]: “Wake Up! Its 6.47am already! How come we didn’t hear the alarm ring?!”
Me: “HUH?!” Sprung Out of Bed like a tightly compressed spring get released suddenly.
Ran to the kids room, shook them and yelled: “Wake Up Children! Wake Up! We are going to be late for school! It already 6.47am!!!”

Every school day, I would need to spend 20-25mins just to wake them up.
So my day usually begins at 6am.
They get into the bathroom at around 6.25am for morning shower, have their cup of milk, sit on the sofa staring into the air and wait for the clock to strike 6.55am; the time when we are supposed to leave the house.

Today, with just 8mins, instead of the usual 45mins of morning routine, I was so fearful that they could not get out of their zombie-self fast enough and both would end up late for school. Remember one of my blogpost in Year 2008 , “It Took 7 Months – The Finale“, whereby I talked about Kitkit needing to bathe every morning because of his sinus? I was thinking: “There is NO TIME for a shower now! How?! He is going to be miserable in school with that sensitive nose, for the entire 6 hours!”

To my surprise, though with lots of murmuring and grumbling, they got out of bed in less than 10 SECONDS!!!!
Me: “Don’t bathe today. There is no time for bath. Just change into the uniform.”
Binbin: “Tsk!” but did as instructed.
Kitkit: “I want to bathe.”
Me: “Can! Unless you are super fast!”
Kitkit: “Ok!”
Seriously, I did not even bother to check if he had washed himself well or not, ‘cos he came out of the bathroom in less than 3 mins!
He usually takes twice that time to bathe!
*jaws dropped*

There was no time for milk either.
So they went to school with an empty stomach today.

The traffic at my place is HORRIBLE after 7.05am
Thus it is a MUST to leave the house latest by 7am to avoid being caught in a jam that hardly moves.
If we leave later than that, the kids will be like walking on tight rope. They will either be on the dot when they reach school, provided they hop out of the car and dash to the attendance-taking-finger-print machine; or they will be late….. DEFINITELY!

We left the house at 7.02am.
*scream*
I am unsure if it happened when I jumped out of bed (Literally) and hurt myself accidentally or was it because of over-stress; I had a terrible nerve-pulling pain on the left side of my neck; starting from the back of my left ear.
When I was in the car, the pain extended to my left back and waist, all the way down to my hips.
*Ouch!*
With a medicated patch stuck onto the left of my neck, it still hurts as I type this down now.

So much tension building up, I needed to relax and was grateful that the Surprisingly good traffic condition actually helped me to ease a little of it.
The kids were NOT late for school!
Yeah!
*clap clap clap*

==========

2nd Roller Coaster

I was too exhausted emotionally after that mad rush in the morning.
With the added physical pain on my left side, that does not seem to fully disappear, I was dead-beat!
Allan: “Go sleep. I will open the door for the contractor later. Go! Go rest!”
Yes, we needed to change the hinge of our toilet door because of corrosion. The contractor suspects that it could have been due to the acid wash too, just like what had happened to my windows. Read this post for details “Progress of New House – Update 7”
The contractor said that he will be at my house between 11am to 1pm.
Since hubby gave me the green light to snooze, I snuggled into Kitkit’s bed and was in dreamland in seconds. I did not want to sleep in my own room because the contractor will be changing the hinge of my room’s toilet door as well; and. it would be very unsightly if I happen to be drooling while snoozing. *laugh*

At around 11.20am:
Allan: “Wake Up! Wake Up! Binbin’s teacher called and said that he is having a fever and need to be brought home.”
Me (still in a daze): “Huuuuhhhh???? Orh. Ok, you go.”
Allan: “So when the contractor comes, you’ll need to open the door for them.”
Me (not out of the daze yet): “Huuuuhhhh??? Ok…..Ok.”

I sat on the sofa, still attempting to call my soul to return from dreamland.
“Why do I have to be woken in such a way TWICE in a day!” I thought to myself.
*sigh*

At the same time, I was worried about Binbin.
He was still fine when we left home in a hurry this morning.
Was it too stressful this morning that it burnt his brain, causing fever?
*shrugged*
I sat and waited patiently…

Allan and Binbin arrived before the contractor.
He was his usual self. Chipping and Chirping away.
In disbelief, I told Binbin to take his temperature again.
It was 36+ degrees celsius!
Normal human temperature!!!

But when his classmate tested for him in school, she said it was 37+ degrees celsius.
HHhhmmmm…..
Anyhow, fever or not, the teacher still insists that Binbin goes home because he was sniffing away and could not concentrate in class.

Oh well!
False alarm!

*eyes rolled*

======

3rd Roller Coaster

Kitkit came home after school with a (in my opinion) RIDICULOUS ENGLISH homework!
He needs to complete 2 different puzzles.
One of them needs to use cut-out-shapes to form a ‘bird’.
The other needs to cut out 30 pieces of jigsaw puzzle and reveal the hidden message.

Hello!!!!!????
How can this be an English Homework???!!
Which part of the paper has an alphabet on it?!
This looked more like a kill-time activity.

Me: “Kit, who gave this work?”
Kitkit: “My English teacher, during English lesson.”

SERIOUSLY?!?!
*eyes rolled*

When Kitkit was young, Allan and I noticed that his motor skills are not on par with his peers. I think I did mention this issue a couple of times in my blog before too. He has coordination issue when he needs to move his fingers, hands and legs. Thus, knowing that this is something that he is born with, and not due to his fault, I agreed to help him cut out the 30 pieces of jigsaw puzzles, while he cut out the shapes to solve the bird puzzle.

Knowing that this will take a long time for him to complete, I volunteered to solve the 30-piece jigsaw puzzle for him too. Seriously, I think its just NOT RIGHT to give such a homework when the next day is not a weekend or school holiday. This will eat up the time he needs for other written homework. In fact, I was a little fuming inside already.

This was his task:~

And this was mine:~

He tried fixing the ‘bird’ a few times and gave up.
Then he saw that I had already formed the frame of the jigsaw puzzle, he got excited, leaned on me and started shaking his body to the humming of his current favourite song “Somebody That I Used To Know“

“Kitkit, go do your task. We agreed that you do that and I’ll do this.”
I said once.
I said Twice.
I said THRICE!

“Enough! You do both ON YOUR OWN! I am not going to help you already! This is YOUR HOMEWORK, I was being nice to agree to help you with one of the task, but you are taking me for granted. Nah! (I stood up) Do it yourself!” I snapped.

Being someone who always like to take the easier way, he began pasting the frame (which I made) onto his workbook without checking the details. But with a push of the workbook, the frame was messed up!
*Super Scream*
My Effort! Totally Wasted!!!!

He remembered that the ‘starfish’ was at the bottom right when I roughly-pieced (NOT stick) the frame together on the table; and he started pasting it on the bottom right corner of the given space in his workbook. He used that corner as a starting point to form the rest of the frame but it was all wrong! It did not fit into the given space in the workbook! Simply because the frame was a rectangle. There are short sides and there are long sides.

Being himself at his best, a NOT meticulous person, he went ahead to paste without paying attention to details! He pasted the short side of the puzzle onto the long side of the given space in the workbook. *slap forehead*

I did not want to keep breathing down his neck with endless scolding, so after telling him where was the mistake, I walked away to get some fresh air and cool myself down.

Piece by piece, he tore it out of the workbook and re-pasted.
This time, he pasted the longer side of the puzzle onto the longer side of the given space in his workbook.
But its still wrong!

MY-OH-MY!!!!

I can feel the HEAT IN ME RISING TO MY EARS!
Me: “KITKIT!!!!! You completed the frame only. But do you know which is the top or the bottom when you do not even have the center part done yet?!?!”
Kitkit: “But just now I saw that your ‘starfish’ was at the right bottom.”
Me: “I fixed the frame first so that it is easier for me to find the center pieces, but I do not know which corner will the ‘starfish’ be in until the picture is fully formed; which is why I pieced them on the table first without sticking them together!”

ONCE AGAIN!
He tore out each piece from the workbook.
This is the 2nd round of pasting and tearing.
When the paper is so thin, you can imagine how fragile they have become after going through such torture.
As a result, some were torn.
*Super eyes rolled*

As if it was not tedious enough for my 9 year old, a strong wind came and blew that frame into a mess again!
He had to RE-FIX the frame one more time!
*Super Faint*

This was how he looked after all that had happened over the past 2 hours:~

Then suddenly, as if an invisible fairy came and waved her wand over his head, he calmed himself, looked up at my red face and apologize: “Mummy, sorry that I make you so pissed.”
The soft-hearted me….melted.

“Ok! Come’On! Buck up, get it over and done with. You had spent almost 3 hours on these two puzzles already and both are not completed yet!” I cheered him on.

So piece by piece, he tried again.
This time, he grew smarter from the mistakes made earlier.
He pieced them on the table.
Sticking only a small spot of each puzzle together, so that even if its wrong, it would be easier to undo.

One at a time, he tried finding the right piece to match another.
Before he stick two pieces together, he will seek confirmation: “Mummy, this piece looks like it goes with this one, right?”

After an excruciating 3 hours, finally ONE out of Two puzzles are done!
I have no idea how did the time fly so fast!
Did I take too long to cut out the 30 pieces?
Or did Kitkit take too long to amend and re-amend his wrong doings?
Or was it the effort for him to brace himself took way too long?
Or MAYBE its just all of the above!
*sigh*

Just like what the puzzle said “HELP ME!”
Yes, I desperately need help!
My emotional roller coaster ride for ONE DAY is too much for me to handle already.
–In Shock (woke up late)
–Pain (left side of neck)
–Relieved (reached school)
–In Shock (Binbin had to come home before school ends)
–Relieved (Binbin does not have fever)
–In Disbelief (2 Puzzles for English Subject)
–At Peace (Agreed to cut the 30 pieces)
–Anger (Kitkit refused to work on HIS task)
–Temper flared (Kitkit made mistakes again and again)
–Heart Melted (Kitkit apologized)
–Relieved (Jigsaw Puzzle done)

Now, there is still the ‘bird’ yet to be formed!
Kitkit tried.
I tried.
Allan tried.
We Googled, but the solution given on the web uses different shapes from what Kitkit had.
WE were TOTALLY LOST!

We left it as incomplete work.
When all these craziness were over, it was already 6.55pm!
I am totally drained!

When my sister called at 7pm.
She thought I was sleeping when I said “Hello?” over the phone.
Yes…..I was EXHAUSTED!
Even my “Hello?” was half-dead.
*breathless*

Yesterday, I wrote a post with the title “What You See may NOT be What Your Child Sees.”
Today, I just want to close my eyes and not “See”.
*giggle*

Roller Coaster Day

I remembered showing Kitkit the video below when he was still in his preschool years. Though it may had been a few years ago, what he said after watching the video left me thinking and realising that it is very important to KNOW how my child interprets a message, an event, a statement, a video, etc; because What I See may NOT be What My Child Sees.

Before I share what he told me after watching the video, while he was still in his Kindergarten years, let’s watch the video first.

Few years have passed, and Kitkit will be turning 10 in 4 months time. I show him the video again.
The Same Video.
To the Same Person.
But review was different…..
…..very different…..

We talked about how people change over time.
I witness how dramatic my child’s reaction to the same thing could change over some short years.

When he was still learning how to spell simple words like ‘family‘, I showed him this video. I remembered he just came home from school and was still in his Kindergarten uniform….back then, he did not read a single word that came up on the screen, because he was still so young and his vocabulary was still limited to simple words like ‘Me‘, ‘I am’, ‘Father‘, ‘Mother‘, etc.
Me: “Kit, how do you feel after watching this video?”
Kitkit: “We SHOULD NOT finish the food on our plate, so that the poor children can eat.”

I was stunned.
Totally shocked.
Surprised because that was the exact OPPOSITE reason as to why I chose to show him this video.
I wanted the video to tell him NOT to waste food.
Instead, his COMPASSION ruled.
He pitied the unfortunate little ones.

It would be SO WRONG of me to say something like “Noooooo….I showed you this video is to tell you NOT to waste food.”, won’t it? I would appear to be NOT compassionate, won’t I? Would I then be teaching my child NOT TO SHOW COMPASSION?!?

I Kept Quiet.

Almost 5 years later, I showed him the same video.
His facial expression no longer show compassion when he saw how the hungry children gobbled down the wastage.
He was disgusted.
He frowned.
His closed lips turned jagged.

I waited for the video to finish.
He also watched it till the end.
I asked once again: “Kit, how do you feel after watching this video? Do you remember you had watched this video before?”
Kitkit: “No. Don’t remember. Its so DISGUSTING!!! They were eating other people’s saliva! The dumpster was so dirty. Eeee… [He read and understood the words which came on the screen] I know this video is to tell us not to waste food, but its just too disgusting.”

So different eh?

Me: “So you understand that the video was trying to tell you NOT to waste food?”
Kitkit: “Yes I understand. But its just too disgusting.”
Me:  “So you think they should not eat other people’s saliva? But they are poor, how else can they get food?”
Kitkit: “Wait for people to give them food lah! PROPER Food please!”
Me: “There are too few people who do that. By the time these people feed these poor children, they would have died of hunger.”
Kitkit: “But we must know where they are first mah. If we don’t even know where they are, how to give them food?”
Me: “So, if you know where they are, would you give them food?”
Kitkit: “Yes lah.”
Me: “Since they are so poor that they could not even get proper food for themselves, do you think the place that they stay in will be clean and nice or dirty and smelly?”
Kitkit: “Dirty and smelly.”
Me: “Then will you still go?”
Kitkit: “Errmmm….when that day come then say.”

I chose to leave it as that.

A simple video that is trying to educate the audience NOT to waste food.
A simple video that is trying to remind each one of us to think of the millions who died of hunger before we decide to leave our table with unfinished food.
But when this simple video is watched by little ones, the Message Behind the Video, which the film maker intended to bring forward to the audience, may be distorted.
So it is very important to LISTEN to what your child says after watching or hearing something.
This way also helps parents to understand their children better.

However, I need to stress that every one has the right to their opinion.
Never say, “You are Wrong To Think that way.”
Just because you are an adult and they are just kids, when their opinion is different from yours, it does not make you MORE RIGHT than them,

Everyone has different brains and so will their understanding and interpretation of things or events.
Please respect your child’s opinion.

It is important to share how YOU think.
So that he or she can see different sides of the coin.
Yet, it is also vital to show Respect, even though your child’s brain does NOT work the same way as yours.

Cultivate a child, NOT Force the child to Think the same way as you….unless you are aiming to clone another you.

What You See may NOT be What Your Child Sees