All About Your Child

Having 3 Generations staying under the same roof can be a blessing AS WELL AS a confusion to a child.

When the Mommy scolds the child, he runs to the Daddy.
When the Daddy scolds the child, he runs to Grandma.
When the Grandma scolds the child, he runs to Grandpa.
When the Grandpa scolds the child, he runs to Mommy.

In any and every case, he gets the consolation and the coaxing.

Yet,
When Mommy said “No soft drinks for the child” because the child is coughing, his Daddy lets him go with his craving.
When Daddy said “No soft drinks for the child” because the child is having a running nose, his Grandma gives him a sip.
When Grandma said “No soft drinks for the child” because she is tired of taking care of a constantly ill kid, his Grandpa stepped in.
When Grandpa said “No soft drinks for the child” because the child is too cranky all day long with his block nose and endless coughing, his Mommy decided NOT to torment him further and let him take a few mouth from the ice-cold can drink.

What is the child learning? – It is alright to continue to take his health lightly. Getting well is no longer an issue, since I still get what made his health so bad.

When parents said “Homework first before play!”; Grandparents say “Its been a hard day at school, can’t you (parents) let him play first?”

When parents said “No more toys for you till your birthday!”; Grandparents turned their heads and went straight into the toy shop and grab that ‘child comforter’ to please their whining grandchild.

Whichever way, the child is so confused!

Is this a perfect excuse for parents/care-giver to say that its unpreventable to bring up a hard-to-discipline-child?

I do not know. All I can say is, even without the Grandparents under the same roof; between the Father and Mother, there are parenting conflicts too.

It all voice down to communication, isn’t?

Sit down! Talk it out! Set the Rules Straight!

For husband and wife, it would be easier. But is it all impossible to do the same between parents and grandparents of the child? I dare say NO.

It is POSSIBLE. Just need more that what it takes for one or two sessions of discussion. But most adults get sick of such parenting ‘negotiation’ too early, too soon….

Afterall, there is Generation Gap. Different Mindsets and Different Parenting Ideas.

To me, I pity the children who grow up in such confusing family. Because there is never a clear line drawn. Rules are bendable and promises are often broken.

I have very strict rules to some things and TOTALLY NO RULES to many others and so does Allan. There are times our values clash but we NEVER do it infront of our boys.

When one lectures, the other keeps quiet, no matter how much he wants to jump out from his skin to say “I DISAGREE!” *laugh*

Always sort it out when our boys are asleep or when they are away in school. Say out all the “I did not like what you do just now, because…..”, “I disagree with you doing that, because….”

It is always important to come to a conclusion to EVERY DISCUSSION between the different care-givers. So that whenever the child did “THAT” again, the same praise or punishment would be given, regardless who was taking care of him at that moment.

Tip of the Day: NEVER DISAGREE INFRONT OF THE CHILD.

For those of you who have been reading my blog for more than a year, would remember my many efforts and many blog posts about how I used all sorts of ways to make sure that my boys would NOT get myopia.

I feel EXTREMELY strongly about them wearing spectacles. I do NOT like my boys to wear spectacles because being boys, they are active and I would NOT like to see their active lifestyle hindered by that two pieces of glass infront of his eyes.

Yes, there are Lasik and contact lenses; but to me, its a flaw. I do NOT like it. I am very Extreme when it comes to this. Prejudice, bias… yes that’s how I feel towards this four-eyed-issue.

So this letter completely broke my heart. I am blaming myself now for NOT doing more. Shit me!

A re-check has been scheduled for next month. Till then, I am still hoping that it is due to his ‘soft-spokeness’ which made the tester feel that he is unsure or might have heard him wrongly.

‘Cos that was what happened when he did his first eye-check in the Polyclinic few years ago. You know how ‘P‘ and ‘T‘ sound alike when they are said softly right? And not forgetting ‘S‘ and ‘F’ too.

Sigh…. maybe I am self-deluding… then again… till the re-check comes, I’m still hoping that it was a mistake made during the health check in school on 6th April.