All About Your Child

As promised yesterday, today’s post is about the peak of all complaints from my mother-in-law (MIL) about my eldest sis-in-law (SIL) going for a trip to Hong Kong with her friends.

Allan’s eldest brother’s family live with my in-laws. Ever since my eldest sis-in-law was married into the Loh family, she had been having endless problems with my parents-in-law. Mainly due to her Malaysian habits being very different from the Singaporean old folks, or maybe its just simply because its the usual mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law issues.

I am not here to wreck up the past, not gonna talk about the thousand and one things they couldn’t agree with each other; rather, of all the big and small unpleasant commotion between the 2 of them, I am usually on the side of my SIL, but not this time.

Like the chinese idiom goes, “meeting up frequently is pleasant but staying together can be horrendous.” So true isn’t it? There is so much more understanding, accommodating needed or even closing one eye on each other’s habits that clashes with the principles in your world.

My SIL is a factory worker, a supervisor for a certain department. She work 4 days a week – Sunday to Wednesday. From 7am to 7pm. Currently the arrangement for the kids were – MIL will take care of the 3 children in the day. SIL will take care of the 3 children the moment she comes home and the other 3 days of the week when she doesn’t need to work.

All of a sudden, 2 weeks ago, SIL called me and told me that she is very excited about her trip to Hong Kong with her friends for 6 days.

My immediate question was, “Is MIL aware of this?”

“Not yet. But I asked MIL’s son, Allan’s eldest brother, if I could go and he said yes. I asked if he is capable of taking care of the youngest one, Weidong and he said yes.”

(Bullshit!) “Remember the night you were not in Singapore for the Company dinner in Malaysia? Weidong cried the whole night. Brother-in-law can’t pacify him, only MIL had the magic touch. Now you are going for 6 days, who do you think will take care of your 10month old baby eventually?”

“MIL.”

“Yes! You know it yourself! When you were pregnant with Weidong, remember how MIL threatened me about her stroke history, when she decided to stop taking care of my boys because she is afraid that her 62 year old body may be overstretched by 5 kids? She is afraid that she may have stroke again for the 3rd time if she is too worn out.

At that moment, I have decided. I rather stop my retail business and be a full-time mother with countless financial worries than to be blamed left-and-right for causing her to collapse!

I worry for you! I worry that if and I am saying IF anything happened to her health during these six days, who is going to take the blame?”

“Me.”

“That’s right! Anyway, have you bought the tickets already?”

“Yes.”

“Before you tell brother-in-law (BIL)?”

“The next day after I asked him.”

“Oh no. You have bought the tickets before even telling the old folks. They are going to touch on the ‘no-respect’ issue again about you. Why you didn’t think of telling them?”

“Well, since BIL gave his consent, I didn’t think it was necessary to get approval from the 2 of them.”

“So when will you tell them?”

“I guess I will let them know tonight after work.”

My MIL’s face was as black as charcoal! The following sentences were screamed at the face of my SIL and were repeatedly said to whoever that she wanted to complain to about her disrespectful DIL, over the past 2 weeks!

“You are a irresponsible mother! How could you enjoy yourself when you have a 10month old baby, who refused to let anyone else tuck him to sleep at night except myself and you? I had to take care of your 3 children, Zeng Yee, Mun Yee and Weidong in the daytime and now I had to take care of them at night too?! You want me to die of tiredness?

You don’t respect me at all? Who is the one taking care of your children? Its me! How could you act before even consulting me? How could you booked the tickets before even asking me? If you are so tempted to go for every other holiday trips that come along, then don’t get married, don’t give birth to children, be single forever.

Even if you want to go for holiday for enjoyment, do it when the children are much older, when they could take care of themselves. Not now, when your eldest daughter is only 7 years old.

When you have decided to be a mother, BE A MOTHER for goodness sake! Take care of your children. I am helping you to take care of your children while you work to support them. I am helping you. Its NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY to take care of them. Don’t take my kindness for granted. You gave birth to them, you are the one responsible for their well-being and growth.

How could you be so heartless? Weidong cried the whole night when you didn’t come home because of your company dinner in Malaysia. Now you want him to cry for 6 nights! That is torture to a baby. How could you?!”

Is my SIL wrong to go for this trip now?

See photos of all children mentioned above here

After clearing all the vomits for Keatkeat for 2 days, his stomach flu is getting better. I am so glad I no longer need to worry that however small amount of food went into his mouth will be regurgitated in less than 15 minutes.

Dealing with the smell, bathing him over and over again, washing lots of soiled clothes….and as if its not terrible enough, the weather for these few days are so cold, no sun, just chilling breezes from morning till night, the clothes are so cold even though they are hung up for more than 24 hours. I can’t even tell if the clothes are cold because of the wind or they are cold because its still not dry yet!

My super long day started when the clock strikes 12 in the morning. I didn’t type wrongly, I mean in the morning, the very moment, 2nd of March began.

12am – Lie down beside Keatkeat to pat his bottom till he sleeps. I am still trying very hard to stop this habit that was passed down by his grandma, when he was under her care while I was doing my retail business. I fell asleep. Not too sure who fell asleep first though.

12.30am – I was woken up by laughter from the bubbly little Binbin and his Papa. Binbin took a very long nap yesterday and woke up at 8pm, so even though its past midnight, that little rascal is still super active and high in spirit.

The price to pay for being a busybody is really high!

12.30am – Went to check out what was so amusing. Found the father and son playing with this. Fisher Price Baby 1st Blocks – it was Keatkeat’s present when he was 6 months old. The 2 look-a-like males were playing a different game with the blocks.

Instead of putting them in the container according to the shapes, they were stacking them up to form one tall tower. Pretending that it was dad’s birthday candle and they tried to bloooooow the tall candle down. When it does land on the ground with a big crash (its late remember?) the little one laughed his heart out. They do it over and over again!

As I approached, the dad gleefully walked back towards his PC which was updating the highlights of the many English Soccer Matches going on, sat down and said, “yeah! your favourite mommy is here.”

12.45am – I continued the blow-the-candle game with my little laughable. Suddenly, water was gushing out of the little boy’s long pants. Yes! Binbin urinated on the floor! The last time he did this was 1 year ago! Was it the extensive laughing? Was it the coldness of the floor? Was it the 3 cups of water which he drank an hour ago? I don’t know!

The only thing I know was I am back to cleaning up and washing of soil clothes! Although I am spared from the smell part, ahhhh… I told Allan, “Now I know why I am woken from my sleep, ‘cos I had to fulfill my duties as a mother – you will never get to rest till your kids are asleep!”

Binbin complained with a frown, “I can’t believe I shh…shh… on the floor.”Ya man! Indeed its unbelievable. Sigh…..

1.05am – Help the little fellow with his diapers (he’s not toilet-trained for night yet) before the next mishap occurs. Tucked him into bed and pat on his buttocks to get him to dreamland. He was really NOT TIRED. He started to chat with me. “no…no…boy, its late, sleeping time….we’ll talk again tomorrow. Now close your eyes and sleep.”

2am – FINALLY! Asleep! But now I am wide awake with a growling tummy. Went to cook my favourite Korean Instant Noodle.

Switched on the TV as I savour the delicious taste of the unhealthy food.

The more I sat in front of the square box! The more awake I became. Oh no! This is not happening!

3 am – Forced myself to switch off the addictive set powered by an invisible force known as electricity. Washed up the pots and bowls. Drank a big glass of water. “Yup! I am ready to sleep!” and so I thought! I was wrong! Dead wrong!

3.15am – Tossing and turning in bed as if I had a thousand worries. But I don’t! I only had ONE worry, that is when am I going to sleep?!

3.45am – Got out of bed again. Turn on another addictive set run by the same powerful force – the computer. Watch lots of ‘nothings’ from Youtube. Ahhh.. I have downgraded myself from the bigger screen to the smaller one, yet I am still doing the same thing – staring at the screen.

5am – My 30 year old body finally shows signs of fatigue. I was unconscious almost instantly when my head touches the pillow.

8.30am – My rooster boy, Binbin is up and about! Are all kids born in the year of the Rooster such early wakers, irregardless of what time they sleep? I already know 3 kids who have this wake-up-early-automatically blood cells in them and lo and behold, they are Rooster babies!

There goes my sleep. I am up with my heavy eye-bags and dark eye-rings, playing with the 2-year-old again.

10.30am – The elder one woke up and we got ourselves dressed up to go to my in-law’s house for the usual-Sunday-family-gathering.

That’s the place I least want to be in when I am soooooooo tired. Every Sunday is more or less the same – Play with all my nieces and nephews, be the listening ear for my mother-in-law’s never-ending lists of complaints and the updates from my sister-in-laws.

Today is extremely terrible because my mother-in-law is furious over my eldest sis-in-law’s decision about going for a holiday on her own. I promise, I will tell you the juicy story tomorrow. (My eyes lids are getting heavier)

We were lucky. In order to escape from hearing all the fury words, it was Hougang Residents Day today. They had a carnival right below her block.

We managed to get 8 free coupons. 1 used to claim a packet of popcorn. The rest were all for games. Binbin got to touch a yellow python for the very first time. He was so excited. Kept touching it but Keatkeat dare not even get close. The snake was under the care of the owner who allows people to take photograph with the snakes without any cost involved.

10pm – Back home. Got the kids ready for bed with a big help from the man of the house.

Though so tired, I can’t wait till tomorrow to get all these written down. Now at 11.37pm, my mission is done. Oh man….tomorrow is monday, school day, got to wake up at 7am! I am really exhausted. Time for bed. Good night everyone, sweet dreams! *Big Sigh*