Ever since 13th March 2013, my boys had been coming home from school on their own. Read about it in this post “Another Huge Milestone for My Boys“.
All was well for the past 6 months or so. Sometimes they will come home without each other because one has to stay for remedial lessons while the other does not; but most of the time, they had been ‘home-coming’ partners.
2nd October 2013, Wednesday, something happened which made Kitkit felt so uneasy that he does not want to come home by bus anymore…..
Kitkit: “Mummy, please scold Binbin. He stood far away from S. in the bus queue just now (Binbin does not like S., Kitkit’s classmate, because S. teases Binbin often.), then an auntie and her son, also from our school, just cut queue like that and stand infront of us. Then I said, “Wah! Cut Queue Ah!?!?” Then the auntie said: “Where got?! We where got cut queue?!” Then after that she kept staring at me. Her stare makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t like.”
Me: “I am so proud of you that you confronted the auntie, but it would be nicer if you had rephrased your sentence to something like “Auntie, we were in the queue first.” In this way, I do not think she will be upset already.”
Kitkit: “Its All Binbin’s Fault!!!”
Allan: “No one likes to be told that they are wrong. That’s why the auntie was unhappy. You can also try to say, “Auntie, the queue starts from there.” By the way, were the two of you the last in queue?”
Kitkit: “No. There were other people queuing behind us, we were not the last in the queue. Aiya! I REALLY FELT VERY UNCOMFORTABLE when she stares at me! I don’t like people to be against me! Can you fetch me from school tomorrow? I do not want to take bus home tomorrow.”
We agreed.
Thursday, we fetched them back from school.
Friday was a school holiday because of Children’s day.
On Monday morning, yesterday, in the car, on the way to school, I was very surprised that Kitkit still cannot forget the woman’s stare!
Kitkit: “Can you fetch me from school today?”
Me: “Kitkit! You did the right thing. You did not do anything wrong! Why are you afraid?”
Kitkit: “I just don’t want her to stare at me!”
Me: “Its been so many days already. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Its been 4 days already! I seriously do not think she will remember you even if she sees you again.”
Kitkit: “I just don’t want to take bus home!”
Allan: “For how long? Forever?!”
Kitkit: “I don’t know. I just don’t want to take bus home.”
Me: “Kitkit, if you had stolen something from a shop and was caught red-handed by the shop owner once and you are afraid to step into that shop again in future, I can understand. But this?!? You are doing the right thing! Something which even adults dare not do and would only know how to silently curse and badmouth about such queue-cutters behind their backs. I am SERIOUSLY very proud of you…and your courage. However, now you make me feel like you have regretted your ‘good’ action.”
Allan: “Ok! Enough! We will take bus home with you today!”
And that was exactly what we did.
Allan and I left our car in the carpark, took a bus to their school and waited for them to appear.
Then we walked towards the bus queue.
We chose NOT to stand with my boys, so that we could see for ourselves if it was just Kitkit scaring himself or was that woman’s stare really that scary.
We waited.
The queue became longer.
I kept text-ing the children’s mobile phone, “Has the auntie appeared?”
“No.” replied my boy.
We continued to wait.
Suddenly, Kitkit text-ed, “Her son is here. Purple Bag.”
But the mother was nowhere in sight.
The bus came and the son boarded the bus and we confirmed that the mother was not with her son today.
Allan and I: “So its just that day!”
Me: “So she is not with her son every day.”
When we were having lunch at a coffeshop and Allan was away buying his food, Kitkit asked softly, “Mummy, was I thinking too much?”
Me: “Yaaa…….”
This morning, just before the kids alighted at the school drop off point, I said my usual ‘farewell sentence’: “Have Fun!”
But I added an extra sentence today, “See you at home.”
Kitkit understood that Life Is Back To Normal again and that he will be going home by bus, with his brother…..without us and he replied, “Ok lor.”
============
In the afternoon…….after they reached home.
Me: “So how? Was the auntie there today?”
Kitkit: “NOPE!!!” with a huge grin, showing off his two rows of teeth.
*Thumbs Up*
End of the ‘Stare‘ episode.
Please do not see it as just a matter of whether we fetch him from school or not.
We are building his character here.
A character of being ‘man enough’ to face the consequences of his actions.
Her Stare Made Me Feel Uncomfortable
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