I overheard an argument between Bernice’s parents today. The details were not clear but it was regarding about the way Bernice’s grandma cleaned Bernice’s ears.

husband: “…that’s they way she cleaned my ears when I was young, I did not become deaf, did I?”

wife: “So you are saying that I am being unreasonable?”

husband: “…..I just want you to be more appreciative..”

I was warned before by all the married couples that Allan and I will bound to argue very often once we have a child. They said that the argument is always related to the child and the mother-in-law.

Well it was quite true to some extend. ‘Cos Allan and I have NEVER and I really mean it, we have Never argue before till we had our first child. Our first argument was when both my boys were taken care by my mother-in-law. I started to complained about things like…

“Keatkeat is still not potty trained at 3!”

“Keatkeat should be able to feed himself by now. But she (Mother-in-law) refused to let him feed himself because she doesn’t want to clean up the mess and want him to finish the food faster by feeding him.”

“Keatkeat should be able to change his shorts on his own already. But he is still unable.”

“She used the cloth which is meant to wipe the table to wipe the boys’ mouth. How could she?”

“She used the huge scissors to cut their nails. So dangerous.”

…and the list of complaints went on about how my Mother-in-law spoilt Keatkeat, the way she took care of the boys and her funny habits…blah blah blah…

until one day Allan had enough of my yakking and he said something that shuts my mouth since that faithful day.

Allan:” We need to work, we need someone we can trust to take care of Keatkeat and Binbin and at Zero cost. Who can we turn to? My mother right? So if you are so unhappy with the way she is taking care of them, then stop work and take care of them yourself! Can you afford it? Can we support the family? No we can’t, right?

So we need to make sacrifices in one way or another. In this case, the sacrifice you need to make is not having your dream child. You just need to accept the way my mother takes care of them.

The way my mother took care of my brothers and I is definitely different from the way she takes care of her grandchildren because the expectations she has on her children is different from the expectations she has on her grandchildren.

How would you feel if she beat Keatkeat and Binbin? That is what she used to do to my brothers and I so often. You will not be happy, right? So be prepared that her disciplinary actions are limited and hence the children will be spoilt to some extend.

She has 4 children to take care of. Housework to do. Cook for the family. She has so many things to do, so if by feeding the children can give her more time to do other things, of ‘cos she would choose to feed them.

We know that accidents do happen during potty training time. If she had to clean up the mess created every now and then, can you imagine how tired the 60-year-old lady can be?

So be appreciative that she is willing to forgo her rest and help you to take care of your children at no cost.”

‘Be appreciative’ was the word said by both husbands. So was it really the daughter-in-laws who are demanding too much?