All About Your Child

According to all the ‘fengshui’ write-ups for 2008, people born in the year of the Rooster, like Binbin and my mother-in-law, will not be having a smooth year. Sometimes, things like these are better not read, the words do stay in your mind all the time. Yucks!

Some may say, things do actually happen when you think too much about it. Guess what? It did happen to Binbin.

5 days before Chinese Lunar New Year, Binbin had stomach flu. Started vomiting at almost everything that went down his throat. We were trying so hard to get him well before the celebration begins.

Our wish came true at the very last minute. On new year’s eve, Binbin started to eat better, but poor boy was already 1.5kg lighter after the torturing days. We thought ‘Yeah, everything is over now’, but we were wrong.

On the 2nd day of Chinese New Year, while we were in my 3rd auntie’s house, my dad’s 3rd elder sister, Binbin had a great fall. He lost his balance and slam his mouth onto the metal leg of the table.

The thin skin, which joins the upper lip and the gums, was detached from the gum, causing lots of blood to flow. His crooked bottom teeth were almost fully straightened. You can imagine the force of the hit!

He was wailing like crazy! Remember, my boy is one that has a high tolerance level when it comes to pain? When he was screaming at the top of his voice, I know its super painful. My heart was bleeding as I see the blood continue to flow out from his mouth.

This scene reminded Allan and I of what happened to Keatkeat 3 years ago on the 4th day of Chinese new year. We were in my friend’s house. Keatkeat lost his balance when he was coming down from the sofa. His forehead banged onto the edge of the glass coffee-table, his skin was torn apart, blood were flowing down from his face. There were blood on his shirt, his hands, my shirt, my hands….I hate to be reminded of this!!! I hated myself for being a terribly careless mother. I hated myself for not being alert enough. Ahhhhh……….

He was rushed to the hospital. The doctor said he will not be able to stitch the wound because Keatkeat was unable to keep still. So he ‘Glued’ the wound up. It was really drama! 2 nurses were holding Keatkeat’s legs and hands, I was holding his shoulders and Allan was trying to keep his head still while the doctor squeeze the skin back together and poured the glue over.

The scar on Keatkeat’s left forehead will always be a scar in my heart too…………….

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Today is the 7th day of Chinese New Year and my little one can finally drink milk from his bottle again. Unable to drink from his bottle is probably the worst thing for Binbin after the mishap. He is not concerned that he can’t eat his chocolate or sweets, nor concerned about his weight loss, but he is badly affected when he realised the pain from the blue-black lip and gums are preventing him from sucking from his bottle. We know that sucking has the magical calming effect on babies and the same magic goes for my 2-year-old too.

So he was extremely and I do mean EXTREMELY cranky for these 5 days! It really drives me nuts sometimes. Whenever he was throwing terrible tantrums, I had to look away so many times a day, take a deep breath and kept telling myself, ‘my boy is in pain…. my boy is in pain… my boy is in pain…’, put a smile back on my face, turn around and get back to the noisy kid. It was really a big change for a small boy like Binbin who is so used to eating almost everything all day long. The uncomfort from his never-full stomach is understandable. So well he has got an excuse for the tantrums afterall….*humph*

Finally, its all over! He can drink from his bottle, eat his chocolate, bite into his cookies, drink directly from the cup and brush his teeth! Yeeew! It was so yellowish! Now I am determined to help him get back the 2 kg which he lost over the past 2 weeks. Gonna bring back that 2 bouncy cheeks too. *Mm!*

Over the past few days of visiting different relatives, parents always gather around to talk about their children and the hottest topic this round was ‘When is the right time to teach your child about money?’ After I heard stories about my relatives’ children on the way the kids handle their money in school, I started to give my boys money education.

Kid no. 1, 8 years old, Primary 2

The parent went to the school canteen and wrote down all the prices of the food sold in all the stalls. The kid is given $1.50 per day to school. Everyday, she come home with $0.00 left.

Parent ask what did she spend on, she said a couple of things, but the amount did not tally. Conclusion: Parent believe the child is lying. Result: Scolding and Canning.

Parent punished her by reducing her pocket money by $0.10 every-time she lie about how she spent her money. Now she is left with only $0.70 per day.

Parent tried to use the reward system lately. They suggested to double up the total amount of whatever the kid can save by the end of the week. For example, if by Friday, the kid have a remainder of $1.00, the parent would give her an additional $2.00 as a reward. Result: The kid still comes home with $0.00 at the end of the week.

Parent have been hearing alot of stories from their own friends, like “the child may use it to buy stickers but keep them in school, so the parent will not know”, “the child may have bought other stationery but asked their friends to safeguard for them, so that the parent will be kept in the dark”, “the child may have lend the money to someone else and didn’t want the parent to know,”.…..stories like such kept going into the head of the parent.

My question to the parent: “How did you, as parent, handle your money? Do you spend whenever you see something that you like? – Yes.

Do you save your money and tell your child the importance of saving? – No.

When she was young, do you buy almost everything she asked for? – Yes.

Do you know that she is just trying to mimic whatever she see in you for the past 7 years? Now you do not allow her to buy whatever she likes and worse, you punish her by cutting her allowance, you confused the child because what you do and what you say is different. So how do you expect your child to do whatever that you want , when you yourself is not doing it?”

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Kid no. 2, 7 years old, Primary 1

The child cannot differentiate between all the denomination of the coins. Hence, when she gave a 50cents to the stall owner for a 20cents slice of cake, she just walked off without waiting for the change of 30cents.

It was after a couple of days in school before the parent realised this terrible fact! They kept complaining that they can’t believe their child is so stupid.

Now the child has $1.00 per day, all in coins, for school. Comes back with some remainders. When the parent ask what did she spend it on, she said nothing! “How could you spend money on NOTHING?!” screamed the parent.

The child still said she did not buy anything at all. Result: Canning.

After almost a week, they think that their child may not be lying after-all. The parent start to believe that the money was actually stolen by other classmates. So they asked, “Where did you put the money?” – “In the purse” “And where did you put the purse?” – “In my school bag, just like what you told me to do.” “Even when you are not in class?!” – “Yes.”

They complained again, saying that they can’t believe their child can be this stupid.

My question to the parent: “Have you let her handle money before she went to school?” – of course not! she is too young to handle money

“Then when do you think she is old enough to handle it? Like now? If you have never let her handle money before, how in the world would she know that there are coins and dollars; and what is the value of each coin?!” – ……………….

“Your child is nothing but an obedient child. You told her to put the purse in the school bag and so she did. Now you tell her that she is stupid by doing that? Can you see how confused she is?” -……………………

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So many times in life, we see young children doing funny things, ridiculous actions, unbelievable acts and we made the child accountable for the actions. Yet we have forgotten that children are the best mimics of the world. And who do they mimic? People who are closest to them…..

Before you scold your young child for doing something you don’t approve, why not hold your tongue for a few seconds and think what could have caused him to that in the first place, do you as a parent, have a part to play?