All About Your Child

Today, Keatkeat blurted: “I Hate it when people call me Cheng Ki-at! I want them to call Cheng K-eat!”

*scream*

I know I have mentioned it before in this blog post “For The 3rd Time” that ALL his teachers call him Cheng Ki-at, instead of Cheng K-eat, or to be clearer, its pronounced as Cheng Kit.

When I was pregnant with Keatkeat, Allan and I took special effort to make sure that his name could not be made fun of, but little did we expect that what sounded like ‘Kit‘ to us, actually was pronounced as ‘Kiat‘ to 99% of the people.

His name on the birth certificate is Cheng Keat.

‘Eat‘ with a ‘K‘ infront, should sound like ‘Kit‘, wouldn’t it?
Well, after so many years, it has proven to us that it does NOT to majority of the people.

To many whom we met, ‘Keat‘ is actually pronounced as ‘Kiat‘.

Now that we go to Malaysia so often, NONE, yes, NONE of the custom officers pronounced Keatkeat’s name the way we intended it to be pronounced. He is very upset and I could do NOTHING to help!

*scream*

So I decided to give him an additional name ‘Zac‘. I informed all his teachers and even wrote the name ‘Zac‘ on all his school books. I was hoping that his teachers would now call him ‘Zac‘ instead and not by his dialect name anymore.

To my great disappointment, Keatkeat’s teachers said that ‘Zac‘ is NOT reflected in his Birth Certificate, hence it is not recorded in the school system, therefore they REFUSED to call him ‘Zac‘.

Small Note: His spelling has changed recently from ‘Zac’ to ‘Zec‘, as in ‘Zechariah’.

I checked with ICA and found out that I could NOT change his name until he is 15 years old, when he does his IC registration in school.

He is only turning 9 years old in November this year, he had to go through this agony for another 6 years?! *heart dropped*

I am angry with myself for NOT checking how people usually pronounce ‘Keat‘ before its printed on his Birth Certificate.

Now, its all too late and there is nothing I could do to help my child.

I am so sorry, Keatkeat……
*hands covered face*

My Son Hates his Name!

STOP being Squirmish when Your Child ask about Sex or Private Organs…

I am using this post to confess that I had it all planned when I consulted my guru friend on how to get a baby boy after I was married to Allan. I wanted boys and not girls right from the very beginning.

I love boys for MANY reasons (Read this blog post to know my reasons: “Boy or Girl?“) and one of them was not mentioned in that blog post :

I can throw the ball to Allan when my boys point at their ‘little elephant’ beneath their pants and ask: “Why do I have this?”

Back then, I imagined how squirmish I would be if the boys asked me such a question. However, after giving birth to my first child, Keatkeat, the squirmish feeling simply disappeared!

Remember my blog posts on how I answered questions on :-

1. Nipple/Breast – “Kids Talk 6 – Ne-Ne-Pok“
2. Menstruation – “Mommy, You Got Blood“
3. How Babies Are Formed – “Kids Talk – Where Did I Come From?“

Today, as usual, we went over to my in-law’s house to spend a day there and my youngest niece asked me about menstruation.

There was no difference between me telling my boys and me telling my niece. The feeling is the same for me. The only difference was, I had to handle her squirmishness when she talked about it.

Well, I do not blame her, because the environment that she grows up in does not touch on such topics. Very similar to the granny and maid of Terry, the young boy in Jack Neo’s movie ‘I Not Stupid Too’. When Terry asked where do babies come from, the reply from the two ladies were “From the dustbin.” In the end, it misled the child terribly.

I do not want children around me to be misled in the same way.

This was how my niece started the topic in Mandarin:-

M.Y. : “ShenShen, Jiejie said she uses an adult diaper.”

Me: “Yes, its called ‘pad’. Have you seen those commercials that show a white piece of cushion?”

M.Y.: “Yes. The Sofy something right?”

Me: “Yes.”

M.Y.: “Why need to wear?”

Me: “So that when her menstruation comes, it will not stain her undies.”

M.Y.: “What is menstruation?”

Me: “Blood coming out from beneath.”

M.Y.: “Eeeee….! So gross! Isn’t that painful?”

Me: “When you cut your hand and it bleeds, is it painful?”

M.Y.: “Yes.”

Me: “When you pass urine, is it painful?”

M.Y.: “No.”

Me: “That’s right. When we cut ourselves, we our skin is forced to split, so it feels painful. But when we pass urine, we already have a hole in our private part for the urine to flow out, so it is not painful.”

M.Y.: “Orrhh…”

Me: “Our menstruation blood comes out from another hole. So it is also not painful when it comes.”

M.Y.: “Orrhhh…Why I don’t have?”

Me: “Not yet. Usually your first menstruation flow will come when you are Primary 6. But its different for every girl. Your sis had her first in Primary 5 and ShenShen had mine in Secondary 1.”

M.Y.: “Orrhh…”

Me: “Understand?”

M.Y.: “Yes.”

Me: “Anymore questions?”

M.Y.: “Nope.”

*smile*

I do not like kids to go “Eeeeww..” or giggle when the topic of private parts or making babies is being talked about.

To me, this is one of the BEST thing that God Creates. The way babies are made is so complicated and astonishing. Our organs are great gifts from our Creator and it is what humans now call : SCIENCE.

Talk to your child just like how you would talk about the reproduction of plants. There is nothing gross or sleazy about it. Its NOT pornography!

When you feel squirmish about the topic on sex or private organs,
your child can sense it and feel likewise too. Nothing to feel embarrass about,
but everything to be proud of.

However, PLEASE DO NOT start talking about this topic when they DID NOT ASK! To me, a child learns best when he/she gets curious about something and ask on his/her own free will.

Prepare your answer and wait for the time to come. Answer ONLY WHEN your child ask.
Why?
Well, when they are NOT curious about something, it becomes schooling. Just like going to school. The child is not curious about Bar Graphs, but today’s Maths lesson is on it. He/she has no choice but to learn.

Yet, when they are curious over something and you give them the answer that satisfies their curiosity, they will be more open and receptive. Hence it will improve their understanding.

Timing is a key to Parenting.
Let your child learn at his/her pace,…. not yours.

STOP being Squirmish when Your Child ask about Sex