All About Your Child

I overheard an argument between Bernice’s parents today. The details were not clear but it was regarding about the way Bernice’s grandma cleaned Bernice’s ears.

husband: “…that’s they way she cleaned my ears when I was young, I did not become deaf, did I?”

wife: “So you are saying that I am being unreasonable?”

husband: “…..I just want you to be more appreciative..”

I was warned before by all the married couples that Allan and I will bound to argue very often once we have a child. They said that the argument is always related to the child and the mother-in-law.

Well it was quite true to some extend. ‘Cos Allan and I have NEVER and I really mean it, we have Never argue before till we had our first child. Our first argument was when both my boys were taken care by my mother-in-law. I started to complained about things like…

“Keatkeat is still not potty trained at 3!”

“Keatkeat should be able to feed himself by now. But she (Mother-in-law) refused to let him feed himself because she doesn’t want to clean up the mess and want him to finish the food faster by feeding him.”

“Keatkeat should be able to change his shorts on his own already. But he is still unable.”

“She used the cloth which is meant to wipe the table to wipe the boys’ mouth. How could she?”

“She used the huge scissors to cut their nails. So dangerous.”

…and the list of complaints went on about how my Mother-in-law spoilt Keatkeat, the way she took care of the boys and her funny habits…blah blah blah…

until one day Allan had enough of my yakking and he said something that shuts my mouth since that faithful day.

Allan:” We need to work, we need someone we can trust to take care of Keatkeat and Binbin and at Zero cost. Who can we turn to? My mother right? So if you are so unhappy with the way she is taking care of them, then stop work and take care of them yourself! Can you afford it? Can we support the family? No we can’t, right?

So we need to make sacrifices in one way or another. In this case, the sacrifice you need to make is not having your dream child. You just need to accept the way my mother takes care of them.

The way my mother took care of my brothers and I is definitely different from the way she takes care of her grandchildren because the expectations she has on her children is different from the expectations she has on her grandchildren.

How would you feel if she beat Keatkeat and Binbin? That is what she used to do to my brothers and I so often. You will not be happy, right? So be prepared that her disciplinary actions are limited and hence the children will be spoilt to some extend.

She has 4 children to take care of. Housework to do. Cook for the family. She has so many things to do, so if by feeding the children can give her more time to do other things, of ‘cos she would choose to feed them.

We know that accidents do happen during potty training time. If she had to clean up the mess created every now and then, can you imagine how tired the 60-year-old lady can be?

So be appreciative that she is willing to forgo her rest and help you to take care of your children at no cost.”

‘Be appreciative’ was the word said by both husbands. So was it really the daughter-in-laws who are demanding too much?

The actual story behind ‘What would you have done’? …..

One thing I must clarify, I do not know the real age of the children, but from the way they talk and behave gave me the idea that one was 4 and the other was 5.

I was in Jurong Point Shopping Centre KFC. I was sitting 2 tables away from their table – A mother with 2 children. She was scolding the younger one, “Aiyo, you just went to the toliet and now you want to go again!”

Without second thoughts, she passed her bag to her elder one and said, “You take care of Mummy’s bag. Since Mummy’s bag is with you, so you don’t need to worry. Mummy will come back for the bag and for you.”

She said it so fluently, it really makes me think that she does this quite often.

Off she went with the younger one sitted on one side of her hips. For those of you who are familiar with Jurong Point Shopping Centre, you know how far the toliet is and bare in mind the long queues that are seen so often.

I timed her. Ya I know I was probably too much of a busybody. I was observing the left-alone child, hey, he was really calm and continue eating his whipped potato and french fries as if he really did come out to eat on his own. Never once did he turn his head around to see if his Mummy came back!

From this I really conclude that this was a usual practice of the Mother. I was feeling more uneasy than the child as every minute goes by. 3 cheers for an obedient, responsible (he held on to the bag the whole time) and brave boy!

9 minutes gone and she is back with the younger one, pat her elder’s son head and said, “Good Boy.” Sat down and carried on with her unfinished meal. The end.

What a mother!

9 minutes! So many things could have happened to the child who was left behind….How could she have done that?!!!