All About Your Child

Hey, I noticed a few new moles on my body lately, so I went back to this site to check out their meanings….Ermm…not gonna tell where the new moles position though…hee hee…

When I first discovered this site some years back, I was surprise that one of the most prominent moles on my entire body actually meant something good. I have one mole each on each of my chest.

According to the site, the mole at this position suggests that I am blessed with obedient children who will bring me much happiness. They will make me proud of them.

Guess what? Allan have the exact same moles. Well, I am not so sure about how accurate the meaning of the moles on other parts of my body though, but this one sure hits the bull’s eye.

Keatkeat and Binbin are relatively more obedient as compared to other children of their age and they sure make us proud man!

Do you have such a mole too?

This is Weidong, my youngest nephew (as of now). He was born with holes in his heart. I did not type an extra ’s’, yes he was born with THREE HOLES in his heart.

My Sister-in-law was shattered the moment she heard the news a few hours after labour. She has been hoping for a son. She wanted to have 2 children and stop ‘production’. But her 1st 2 kids were daughters and she wanted to have a son very much. So she ‘try’ for the 3rd time.

Luckily God was gracious and granted her wish. Without God’s grace, I cannot imagine how many more tries she will go through. She may just end up like her mother who had 7 daughters before the 8th was a son!!!

Weidong need to go for monthly checkups for his heart condition. Today on his 9th checkup, the doctor did another S$300+ scan for him and announced “He is discharged!” Yeah! He is fully well now.

The 3 holes have closed up completely! No more worries on everyone faces. No more hospital checkups. No more extra expenses to pay for. Yippee! 3 cheers for Weidong! As you read this post, hope you could feel the excitement in us too.

Everyone knows that kids equal extra expenses. Milk powder, diapers, baby cot, pram, special baby shower foam, kids toothpaste, mini toothbrush, lots of tiny clothing and the list goes on.

For us, there is a special thing we had to settle which I guess many family do not need to worry. You see, Allan drives a van because he needs to do delivery for his brother, who is a supplier for greeting cards. So Allan needs the van to deliver his brother’s greeting cards to retail shops, insurance agents, property agents, etc.

The front could sit 3 people and when the kids where still small, one of them would sit on my lap while the other one would sit between Allan and I. Ya, like most of you (my fellow Singaporeans) know, its against the Singapore law.

But now when they are so ‘big’, the front space which used to be quite spacious has suddenly become very cramp. So we went to the get this!

We took a long time to find a mini sofa for 3 people to put in the van so that the kids and I can sit at the back. Everyone told us that we must get someone to tailor-made the sofa for us, but we believe in possibilities and did not want to spend the extra cent to get a tailor-made seater.

Indeed, when there is a will, there is a way. We searched through the furniture malls and found this mini sofa-bed. Don’t you think the length and the width is a perfect fit? Its four feet by 2.5 feet.

We feel in love with it at first sight! So now Allan becomes our chauffeur *wink*.

There is still plenty of space behind the sofa for brother’s greeting cards. So from now on the kids no longer need to squat down whenever they see a police car drive pass. They can just sit back and relax. With so much room to move around, the car rides become more enjoyable as they play with their toy cars on the sofa.

When the kids are happy, so will the parents, right? *Nodding*

I overheard an argument between Bernice’s parents today. The details were not clear but it was regarding about the way Bernice’s grandma cleaned Bernice’s ears.

husband: “…that’s they way she cleaned my ears when I was young, I did not become deaf, did I?”

wife: “So you are saying that I am being unreasonable?”

husband: “…..I just want you to be more appreciative..”

I was warned before by all the married couples that Allan and I will bound to argue very often once we have a child. They said that the argument is always related to the child and the mother-in-law.

Well it was quite true to some extend. ‘Cos Allan and I have NEVER and I really mean it, we have Never argue before till we had our first child. Our first argument was when both my boys were taken care by my mother-in-law. I started to complained about things like…

“Keatkeat is still not potty trained at 3!”

“Keatkeat should be able to feed himself by now. But she (Mother-in-law) refused to let him feed himself because she doesn’t want to clean up the mess and want him to finish the food faster by feeding him.”

“Keatkeat should be able to change his shorts on his own already. But he is still unable.”

“She used the cloth which is meant to wipe the table to wipe the boys’ mouth. How could she?”

“She used the huge scissors to cut their nails. So dangerous.”

…and the list of complaints went on about how my Mother-in-law spoilt Keatkeat, the way she took care of the boys and her funny habits…blah blah blah…

until one day Allan had enough of my yakking and he said something that shuts my mouth since that faithful day.

Allan:” We need to work, we need someone we can trust to take care of Keatkeat and Binbin and at Zero cost. Who can we turn to? My mother right? So if you are so unhappy with the way she is taking care of them, then stop work and take care of them yourself! Can you afford it? Can we support the family? No we can’t, right?

So we need to make sacrifices in one way or another. In this case, the sacrifice you need to make is not having your dream child. You just need to accept the way my mother takes care of them.

The way my mother took care of my brothers and I is definitely different from the way she takes care of her grandchildren because the expectations she has on her children is different from the expectations she has on her grandchildren.

How would you feel if she beat Keatkeat and Binbin? That is what she used to do to my brothers and I so often. You will not be happy, right? So be prepared that her disciplinary actions are limited and hence the children will be spoilt to some extend.

She has 4 children to take care of. Housework to do. Cook for the family. She has so many things to do, so if by feeding the children can give her more time to do other things, of ‘cos she would choose to feed them.

We know that accidents do happen during potty training time. If she had to clean up the mess created every now and then, can you imagine how tired the 60-year-old lady can be?

So be appreciative that she is willing to forgo her rest and help you to take care of your children at no cost.”

‘Be appreciative’ was the word said by both husbands. So was it really the daughter-in-laws who are demanding too much?

The actual story behind ‘What would you have done’? …..

One thing I must clarify, I do not know the real age of the children, but from the way they talk and behave gave me the idea that one was 4 and the other was 5.

I was in Jurong Point Shopping Centre KFC. I was sitting 2 tables away from their table - A mother with 2 children. She was scolding the younger one, “Aiyo, you just went to the toliet and now you want to go again!”

Without second thoughts, she passed her bag to her elder one and said, “You take care of Mummy’s bag. Since Mummy’s bag is with you, so you don’t need to worry. Mummy will come back for the bag and for you.”

She said it so fluently, it really makes me think that she does this quite often.

Off she went with the younger one sitted on one side of her hips. For those of you who are familiar with Jurong Point Shopping Centre, you know how far the toliet is and bare in mind the long queues that are seen so often.

I timed her. Ya I know I was probably too much of a busybody. I was observing the left-alone child, hey, he was really calm and continue eating his whipped potato and french fries as if he really did come out to eat on his own. Never once did he turn his head around to see if his Mummy came back!

From this I really conclude that this was a usual practice of the Mother. I was feeling more uneasy than the child as every minute goes by. 3 cheers for an obedient, responsible (he held on to the bag the whole time) and brave boy!

9 minutes gone and she is back with the younger one, pat her elder’s son head and said, “Good Boy.” Sat down and carried on with her unfinished meal. The end.

What a mother!

9 minutes! So many things could have happened to the child who was left behind….How could she have done that?!!!

You are out with 2 kids below 4 and 5 years old.

They are fully potty trained.

The 3 of you went into an eatting place where there are not toliet facilities.

The nearest toliet is about 20 metres away.

For precaution sake, you brought them to the toliet first before going for the food.

After eating for less than 5 minutes, one of the kid tells you that he needs to pee again.

1) you leave your table with the 2 kids, your food will be removed?

2) you leave one kid, who agreed to ‘guard’ the food, bring the other one to the loo?

3) you make sure you had super extra large diapers with you and you put it on for the child there and then?

4) your child refuse to put on the diapers, would you have let him go to the toliet alone?

I need to hear from you. Tell me what would you have done in such a situation?

Today I felt like putting my pride down and share a big blunder I made 4 years ago as a parent.

Right after my confinement month, I left my mother-in-law’s house and brought Keatkeat back home.

As first time parents, we were at cloud nine but this excitement was soon replaced by anxiety and fear because Keatkeat started to cry uncontrollably almost every night. We noticed that he will start to cry at around 6pm till wee hours in the morning with occasional mini-nap in between.

We read up, called health nurse, we suspected that it may be colic, but some major symptoms of colic were not seen in Keatkeat, so we were confused. After such intense crying for almost a week. Keatkeat completely lost his voice. You can see that he is crying but sound was weak.

We were really at a lost. We tried rocking him, patting him, play soothing music, create sudden loud noise to grab his attention and hopefully he may stop…nothing works. Then we heard knocking on our door.

2 plump ladies stood at my doorstep and one of them said,”hi, my name is Esther, sorry to interrupt at such a late hour. We stay directly above you” (it was 1am already. Allan and I were expecting the ladies may say,”we can’t sleep cos’ your baby can’t stop crying…”)

Instead she said,”we have 2 young children of our own, when we hear your baby’s cries, our heart ache, we hope you will not find us as busybodies, we really would like to see if we can help. We have been putting our ears against almost every door for the past few days to spot the cry. Sometimes when the cry stops suddenly, our search stops and finally we found your house today. Can we come in and see the baby?”

We were red with embarrassment. We didn’t know that our baby could have caused 2 nice ladies to go through so much trouble just to come and calm my baby. After a week of trying, we were exhausted. Now that help has come to the door, we were more than grateful to let them in.

As if they already knew what was the cause of crying, they brought along with them ‘Ru yi you’, a Chinese medicated oil used traditionally for relief of minor aches and pains of muscles and joints, symptoms of stomachaches and cold.

This is a very common ailment used for babies with stomach-wind. Yes, I said it is common only after I heard from Esther. Before that, I have never seen or heard about it. Not even from my ‘traditional’ mother-in-law.

Without any delay, Esther and her sister went to the bedroom where the exhausted-from-crying but still crying baby lies. Esther opened the bottle of ‘Ru yi you’, put some of the oil on her palm, rubbed her 2 palms together, lifted up Keatkeat’s shirt and pressed her palms on his tummy for about 20 seconds.

Miraculously, Keatkeat stopped crying and started to fart. Then Esther carried him up into a sitting position and held him between her arms and side. Keatkeat was in total comfort!!!

Then Esther explained,”I suspected that he may have too much wind in the stomach. That’s why he was uncomfortable. He feels better now that he has farted. Try to hold him upright, when he is in a lying position, the bloated stomach presses down and makes him uncomfortable. To know if there is wind in his stomach, you can do this…”

She put Keatkeat down again, lifted up his shirt, placed her left palm down on his tummy and used the her right fingers and tapped on her left hand. You can hear ‘dong dong’ sound. Esther said, alternatively I can press around his tummy, if its hard, that means wind is present.

She reminded me never to put ‘Ru yi you’ directly onto the baby’s tummy as the skin of the baby is sensitive, the oil may be too ‘hot’ for him. I was supposed to rub the oil on my palms till hot, then press my palm onto the tummy for a few seconds. I was told to do it after every bath and before night sleep.

We were good students, did exactly what we were told and wow! It really works man!

Did you went through such drama before?

Tonight, I need to setup my stall at the bazaar. So I had to beg ask my mother-in-law to take care of them for a few hours while I do my setup in peace.

In the past, I sell my handmade accessories as a job. Now I am selling them as a duty. I need to clear them fast because I do not like to go through the moment where my kids show me the mummy-can-you-don’t-go-work kind of look whenever I drop them off at my mother-in-law house. I hate to see that look. I can feel how my kids feel, its the same kind of feeling as when my auntie told me that I had to stay with my parents for good (read my story).

In the past, it was a daily routine that they had to be deposited at my in-law’s house. They still gave me that kind of look then, but because they were so used to it, they hardly cry. 

Ever since my sister-in-law became pregnant for the 3rd time, my mother-in-law could forsee that her 61 year old body will not be strong enough to take care of 5 kids, that’s including the unborn child. The baby was born last year May. So on by April, I had to stop my work completely already.

No matter how much argument we had in the past. My mother-in-law is a superwoman in to me. She took care of 4 young children, age newborn, 1, 2 and 4, housework, cook and everything else. She really deserves the family’s respect.

When my sis-in-laws 3rd child was born. That was the beginning of my new profession - full-time domestic manager. But I had lots of ready-made accessories, and lots of beads yet to be beaded up, I need to clear them, afterall I had been in this line for 6 years. So I discussed with my mother-in-law and she finally agreed to let me go for 1-3 days bazaar every alternate weeks at most.

Everytime when I had such bazaar, I will had to go through the ‘drama’ with my kids all over. Normally, a few hours after I left, my mother-in-law would call and say that they are back to their bubbly self again.

But today, the call was different. There was a crying child on the other side of the phone. It was Binbin. Through his sobbing and catching of breath, I could roughly figured out words like, “mummy…hug me…carry me…want to …go home…”

My heart was so sour, I really felt like calling the bazaar off! But I could not. Close friends know why….I needed to clear the stocks, yes, and I needed the cashflow too.

Next moment, I heard the sound of vomit. My mother-in-law took over the phone and said Binbin vomitted because he cried too much and the call was cut-off.

Sigh….hate this, don’t like to hear my baby cry. Ahhhh….. No parent would like to hear their baby cry!!!