All About Your Child

You guys sure know what to give for baby shower. When I had my first boy, I called up all my friends and TOLD each of them what to buy for me my baby. Aren’t I ‘thick-skinned’? There are valid reasons….

Firstly, I am the first among ALL my friends to have a baby. So they have no idea what to buy.
Secondly, I don’t want any duplicate presents. E.g. can you imagine having 2 baby bath tubs?
Thirdly, I didn’t want to receive a heartfelt gift from a person and yet the item doesn’t come in handy.

Honestly speaking, giving ang pao is the best. I can use the money to buy anything the baby needs…but again, when it comes to money, how much is considered as a presentable amount for people whom you have known for a long time and for people who are just office colleagues?

To the giver, S$20 may be good enough, yet to the receiver, it may seem too little…That’s why I usually don’t give ang paos. Yet, I hope to receive them….ahhhh….aren’t I contradicting? That’s woman right, can that be my excuse?

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Been busy lately…haven’t been going by the MYOB (mind your own business) rule.

As most of you know, more than a week ago, my dear friend, Xiuyan, gave birth to a lovely girl. Xiuyan did not breastfeed her 1st daughter, but she would want to try breastfeeding her 2nd girl. She needed answers to her many concerns. I was glad to be her answering machine for this period.

I have no idea why did she come to me. Maybe because she feels comfortable asking me; after all we have been friends for 17 years. Or maybe because I have the most dramatic breastfeeding experience, all thanks to my MIL. Or maybe because I was the only one she knew who purely breastfed for 6 months without any formula. Whatever it is, I’m glad she gave me a chance to pay it forward.

The only person who supported my decision to breastfeed 4 years ago was my cousin, Navy. She breastfed her boy, Matin for 1 full year without any formula. Whenever I had problems, I would call her, but I realized some of the difficulties I encounter, she did not face them. So her support, in a way was limited.

I called up all the breastfeeding support groups’ telephone numbers I could find. Be it they were private support groups or hospital breastfeeding support groups, I called them all. I called them everyday or as and when new problems arise and when new concerns come to mind.

I needed answers; I needed lots of support because I was fighting this battle alone. Everyone around me told me to give up the idea of breastfeeding…but I shut my ears from them and choose to listen to strangers whom I have not even met. Their voice were encouraging, their answers were assuring, their tone was consoling. These groups of people were the one who pulled me through.

Many of them were volunteers giving up their precious time to help people like me, totally lost, yet still determined to find a way through the maze of confusion in breastfeeding. I remembered most of their names. After 6 months were through, I called them back and said “thank you” from the bottom of my heart. They actually recognized my voice and remembered me….I guess, I really bugged them too much….*wink*

Xiuyan’s situation is very different from mine. Everyone around her did not mind if she breastfeed or not. She has a maid to do all the housework. A confinement lady who doesn’t talk much, except on her hand phone (this was what I noticed when I was in Xiuyan’s house last Saturday), and takes care of the cooking and cleaning for the baby and Xiuyan. All Xiuyan needed to do was rest and breastfeed. Really envy her.

The funny part is, with so much support, Xiuyan had wanted to give up breastfeeding a couple of times, yet myself with so many objections, I choose to be rebellious and continue to breastfeed under all the pressure.

Something really touched my heart, that is, Xiuyan trusted me a lot. Whatever I share with her, she listens and she tries to do what I suggested. Every time she wants to give up, she will call me and I’ll try to encourage her and provide her with as much answers as possible. Then she will be up on her feet again ready to give breastfeeding another go.

Thank you Xiuyan! Breastfeeding is a personal choice, yet you choose to let me be part of that choice you make. I am glad to be of help and even more willing to be an on-call girl. Just let me know and I’ll be there.

To me, the joy of giving is often so much greater than the joy in receiving! Good Luck Girl!

I’ve mentioned over here and here before that Binbin has a head that’s as hard as steel and his pain tolerance level is extremely high.

He can bang his head onto the sides of the opened car door, ended up with a dent on his forehead and all he did was shed a few tears.

Now I got to know my boy a little deeper…he doesn’t only have a head so hard, he had such strong teeth too!

When I saw the tile, I was expecting blood with 1 or 2 broken teeth, but there wasn’t. Binbin just sat there looking stunned, that’s all….Should I credit this to 6 months of breastfeeding for such strong teeth and bones? Hmmm….what about his threshold of pain? Is that inherited from someone….way back to my ancestors…cos’ neither Allan nor I are as ‘tolerant’ as my 3 year old? Hmmm….*Scratch head*

I love news like these!

A new study in Washington provides some of the best evidence to date that breast-feeding can make children smarter, an international team of researchers said on Monday.

Children whose mothers breast-fed them longer and did not mix in baby formula scored higher on intelligence tests, the researchers in Canada and Belarus reported.

……At 3 months, 73 percent of the babies in the breast-feeding encouragement group were breast-fed, compared to 60 percent of the other group. At 6 months, it was 50 percent versus 36 percent.In addition, the group given encouragement was far more likely to give their children only breast milk. The rate was seven times higher, for example, at 3 months.

The children were monitored for about 6 1/2 years.

The children in the group where breast-feeding was encouraged scored about 5 percent higher in IQ tests and did better academically, the researchers found.

Previous studies had indicated brain development and intelligence benefits for breast-fed children.

But researchers have sought to determine whether it was the breast-feeding that did it, or that mothers who prefer to breast-feed their babies may differ from those who do not.

The design of the study — randomly assigning babies to two groups regardless of the mothers’ characteristics — was intended to eliminate the confusion.

‘MOTHERS WHO BREAST-FEED … ARE DIFFERENT’

“Mothers who breast-feed or those who breast-feed longer or most exclusively are different from the mothers who don’t,” Dr. Michael Kramer of McGill University in Montreal and the Montreal Children’s Hospital said in a telephone interview.

“They tend to be smarter. They tend to be more invested in their babies. They tend to interact with them more closely. They may be the kind of mothers who read to their kids more, who spend more time with their kids, who play with them more,” added Kramer, who led the study published in the journal Archives of General Psychiatry.

(That’s me, that’s me….)

…..The researchers measured the differences between the two groups using IQ tests administered by the children’s pediatricians and by ratings by their teachers of their school performance in reading, writing, math and other subjects.

Both sets of scores were significantly higher in the children from the breast-feeding promotion group.

Kramer said how breast-feeding may make children more intelligent is unclear.

“It could even be that because breast-feeding takes longer, the mother is interacting more with the baby, talking with the baby, soothing the baby,” he said. “It could be an emotional thing. It could be a physical thing. Or it could be a hormone or something else in the milk that’s absorbed by the baby.”

……Previous studies have shown babies whose mothers breast-fed them enjoy many health advantages over formula-fed babies.

These include fewer ear, stomach or intestinal infections, digestive problems, skin diseases and allergies, and less risk of developing high blood pressure, diabetes and obesity. Read full report here….

Hey, non-1st time Mommies out there who have been giving excuses to breast-feed your baby, its time to change your mindset now!

Its true, at least for my boys. Keatkeat didn’t get much because of my MIL’s 8 unreasonable Objections to breastfeeding, but when I insisted on breastfeeding when I had Binbin, I see that Binbin’s mental and physical development IS truly more amazing!

In 4 days time, my little Binbin will be 3 years old. Its during such times, the very cliche question comes to mind, “How time flies.” Then I start going through the baby photos.

I call Binbin my miracle boy because I conceived him at a time that’s impossible to conceive. Hey, I am not referring to the ovulation cycle or about miscalculation. He was ‘manufactured’ on a day when there were no ovaries in me. Did I hear you say, “Huh?” Nevermind, just take it that God magically put Binbin into my tummy, that’s how the miracle kid came to this earth.

The day he was born at KK Hospital on 30th March 2005. He had a girly look, doesn’t he?

One week after he was born, we realised that he sleeps with his eyes half open (yes! 50%). You can see his eye balls moving left and right as if he is awake. Till this very day, his eyes are still half open when he is in dreamland. Some old folks say, its a sign of naughtiness. (humph)

As if being proclaimed as a naughty boy, even when he was not even big enough to defend himself, was not bad enough, Allan’s parents spotted the 2 “turners” on the top of his head (seriously, I don’t know what you call this, so please tell me the name if you know).

They slapped with this conforming sentence, “This boy will be a terror. Very stubborn. Very naughty. Very disobedient.”

Sometimes it really makes you wonder what really goes through the minds of the older generation. How can that be related to a character or personality? All my aunts and uncles said I was the best baby, toddler that anyone could have ‘cos I am faarrrrrrr from being naughty, and lo and behold, I sleep with my eyes half open too!

This picture was taken on his first day of his 4th month. His fatty thighs could actually support him quite well. All thanks to breastmilk. So mommies out there who want a chubby little baby but do not want an overweight baby, Breastfeeding is the answer.

I breastfed him for 6 full months without any formula before I get back to work at my stall. Much longer than my elder one because Binbin was free from those classic objections.

Here’s the little one on his tummy. He could lift up his head and hold it up for more than a minute.

My adorable kid on his walker. Always love to see his smile, or laugh rather. Yup, my boy is more of a laughing boy than a smiley one.

Able to walk quite steadily on his own at 13 months. Just got up from a fall, still can see the tears in his eyes.

This was also the time when Allan and I called Binbin, ‘The Little Werewolf’. Why? Every month, there is bound to be a day, he would go crazy. I am not talking about tantrums. I really mean CRAZY. He would suddenly cry and shout for no reason and smash his head onto the wall. He will not stop even when the force of the bang caused him to bounce off the wall! He will just get up and bang his head on the wall again, till we hold him down for minutes. Its was bewildering. Thank God, those days were over. If not we would have trouble holding this 15kg boy down with his forceful struggles.

Since then, we realised that he had a very big threshold for pain tolerance. He can bang his head on the edge of the steel door, resulted in a dent on his forehead and he doesn’t even shed a tear. Remember my post on his unbelieveable ability to withstand pain? So far the only time he cried in pain was the bloodshed during earlier part of this year. Only such pain could make him wail. Amazing ya?

Right after his 1st birthday, we noticed that his development, in terms of behaviour, motto skills, intellectual and especially speech is extremely fast. Now he can perform whatever a child who is 9 months older than him do and sometimes can do even better.

That’s him last year, 2007 on Chinese New Year. This was also the photo which I sent to the Playhouse Disney Birthday Book.

Because of his super advanced development mentally, I tend to compare him with his elder brother who is 15 months older (I know its wrong of me but it just come naturally). Binbin is able to do certain things like cleaning himself after passing motion much better than his brother. He shits in less than 1 min. Clean and fast. Never had to worry about any mess when doing it out of the house. All he need is 1 – 2 wipes.

Binbin is a definite vocalist. So long as he is awake, its difficult to have peace for more than a minute. You either hear him babbling away, singing aloud, laughing or crying his lungs out. He spoke his 1st word clearly at 9 months and what’s that word? ‘MOON’. He was able to speak in a sentence of 8 words at 1 year old; sing a complete song at 18 months. Half a year ago, he was able to tell me the entire story of the 3 little pigs. Now he knows as many vocabs as his 4 year old brother.

I never had to worry that Binbin is not eating well, because eating is his hobby! He is ADDICTED to Vegetables. From anything that’s leafy to cucumber, carrot, cauliflower, potato; Favourite vege is broccoli, don’t you wish he is your boy?! *wink* When other kids at Kentucky Fried Chicken is changing their coleslaw to whipped potato, my Binbin needs to have 2 servings of coleslaw in order to satisfy his desire. His favourite snack is a slice of Chesdale Cheese.

He is very special….not the normal special as in the hearts of the parents but special because of all the above….or rather unusual for a kid. Other than his cute actions he is always mistaken to be the twin brother instead of the younger brother whenever my boys are out with me.

Most kid’s favourite songs are the usual Twinkle, twinkle little stars or anything of that sort. But my boy grew up with Chinese pop songs, (although he can hardly speak a proper sentence in Chinese) his favourite is Fairy Tale from sentimental king-Guang Liang. This is Binbin, singing the chorus….

Another very peculiar thing about Binbin is his soft personality. He is very boyish in every way on the outlook. With the natural punky hair, he is rough in his behaviour most of the time, but he has a heart of a girl.

He is attracted to things in Pink. Until lately, he tries to control his affection because too many people kept telling him that pink is for girls. (Says Who!!! ) He loves to play with my sister’s Barbie doll Kitchen set too.

He is in love with Minnie Mouse. I feel perfectly great about that! Though many times the expressions from strangers are not very supportive when they see my 2-year-old boy holding on to a Minnie mouse (as if its his, which he grab it off the shelf the moment his feet stepped into the toy dept) and walk around with it as he examines the kitchen set for the Barbies to play.

Then off he went to press buttons which makes the ‘Baby-Alive’ doll blink and speaks, before he went off to the car section where he checks out for any new hot wheels models.

When we are ready to leave the dept, he would kiss Minnie (sometimes) and say goodbye before putting her back to where she belongs.

He likes to cuddle soft toys. When he is in a snuggling mood, he would hug his favourite puppy and bear to sleep.

So now if I tell you one of his favourite cartoon is Stawberry Shortcake, that wouldn’t suprise you in anyway right? Other than every cartoon in Playhouse Disney Channel, he is very much a challenger at heart. He looooovvvveeees to watch FEAR FACTOR and AMAZING RACE. His eyes hardly blinks till commercial break. Animal Planet is the next on the list. Animals just have a special link to the hearts of kids, don’t they?

Talking about animals, Binbin loves animals, errrr….but his excitement may cause some animals to have heart attacks. He doesn’t really know how to express his emotions, so what he does is, he would chase my neighbour’s dog and hold it down on the floor and say “catch you”, then he would release his grip again and let the dog run (which the dog definitely would in attempt to escape from the clutches of my boy.), then “catch him” again. To him its playing, but to the poor animal, its tormenting. Poor dog.

He is 100% mommy’s boy. He hugs me like a bolster together with his real bolster to sleep. He ticks my cheeks with his little index finger, whenever I look at him in the eyes, in silent admiration; and as if to break away from his shyness, he would say, “Mommy, you sooooo cute.”, squeezing my cheeks with his hands. He can say “Mommy, I love you” so many times a day, sometimes it makes you wonder if its true. Of cos’ I know its from his heart. Kids at this age don’t lie right?

Yup that’s my 2-year-old boy. I love you, Binbin! In 4 days time, you are going to have your very 1st birthday party. I owe it to you. Finally Mommy don’t need to work in stalls 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Hope you like the suprises that everyone has prepared for you.

There is something that Allan and I feel very proud of as parents. We never had a pram. When Keatkeat was born, many of my friends wanted to buy a pram for him. We said no. Reasons?

- We realised that many prams turned out to be trolleys for the parents.

- Kids like to be close to their parents’ body. We knew that having strong arms is a must to be a parent. So complaining of being tired? Then go out less often.

- Its troublesome in many ways. Getting it folded and unfolded. Pushing it around in crowded areas. Finding lifts, to prevent carrying up the stairs. Taking up a big space in the boot where the space can be used for other things.

- We don’t want our kids to become lazy. (When other kids are in the pram, my kids at 1 years old, is already holding my hands, walking around the shopping centre with me.)

- To get a real good one – light and foldable using one hand for convenience, is really a big investment. Yet this investment do not give returns. After a few years, you had to throw away if no one wants to accept your 2nd-hand pram as a gift.

- Some prams are harder to clean than others. When the baby vomits some milk (which is soooooooo common and frequent), that smell can stay in that pram for days!

So instead of prams, we had baby slings. Mine was Navy Gingham Blue in colour (note: I am not getting any commission for this) Why?

- They are safe and secure.

- They keep the baby close to the mother’s body for comfort and security.

- Easy for breastfeeding. You can even breastfeed while walking.

- You can be totally hands free.

- The cloth is not too thick. So baby stays cool in it all day.

- Its machine washable.

- The cushion padding helps to lessen the weight pressed on your shoulders.

- The designs makes stains less visible.

- Its adjustable. To suit the baby or up the age of a 18 month old toddler.

- Its super affordable.

- After using it for 2 kids, its still look as good as new.

Seriously, for all first time parents, this is truly a wiser choice. In my view, that is.

I have never tried breastfeeding in public. I was just too concern over how passerby would look at me. My attitude was wrong. That does not mean that I stayed at home for the entire 6 months when I was totally breastfeeding Binbin.

I will go to places where there are nursing rooms. In fact, nowadays I realise that such nursing rooms are more easily accessible now than in the past and I believe the trend will continue to increase as more mummies choose to breastfeed now.

Watch this video, it changed my way of looking at breastfeeding in public. If I have my third child, I will give it a try. Yup, practise at home first, before trying it in public. When you have gained your confidence in breastfeeding, your movement becomes natural.

Have you tried breastfeeding in public before?

Have you heard of breastmilk jaundice? Sounds unfamiliar, I was ‘lucky’ to have such an experience.

As you know I fully breastfed my second boy fully for 6 months. On the first week, his jaundice level was quite high, the polyclinic doctor was ready to send him for Phototherapy but was held back because the level drop down to below ‘dangerous’ level.

Binbin’s jaundice level just went up and down like a yo-yo, that is when the doctor conclude that it was Breastmilk Jaundice.

No one knows what the cause of breastmilk jaundice is. In order to make this diagnosis, the baby should be at least a week old, though interestingly, many of the babies with breastmilk jaundice also have had exaggerated physiologic jaundice. The baby should be gaining well, with breastfeeding alone, having lots of bowel movements, passing plentiful, clear urine and be generally well.

Breastmilk jaundice peaks at 10-21 days, but may last for two or three months. Binbin’s jaundice lasted for 3 weeks. Breastmilk jaundice is normal. It is not necessary for breastfeeding to be discontinued even for a short time. Only very occasionally is any treatment, such as phototherapy, necessary. Binbin need not go for that even though the level was relatively high.

There is not one bit of evidence that this jaundice causes any problem at all for the baby. Breastfeeding need not be discontinued “in order to make a diagnosis”. If the baby is truly doing well on breast only, there is no reason, none, to stop breastfeeding or supplement with a lactation aid, for that matter. To find out more read this….

Have you heard of breastmilk jaundice?

Always choose a Position that YOU ARE MOST COMFORTABLE with.

The Cradle Hold

This classic breastfeeding position requires you to cradle your baby’s head with the crook of your arm. Sit in a chair that has supportive armrests or on a bed with lots of pillows. Rest your feet on a stool, coffee table, or other raised surface to avoid leaning down toward your baby. Hold her in your lap (or on a pillow on your lap) so that she’s lying on her side with her face, stomach, and knees directly facing you. Tuck her lower arm under your own.

If she’s nursing on the right breast, rest her head in the crook of your right arm. Extend your forearm and hand down her back to support her neck, spine, and bottom. Secure her knees against your body, across or just below your left breast. She should lie horizontally, or at a slight angle.

Best for: The cradle hold often works well for full-term babies who were delivered vaginally. Some mothers say this hold makes it hard to guide their newborn’s mouth to the nipple, so you may prefer to use this position once your baby has stronger neck muscles at about 1 month old. Women who have had a cesarean section may find it puts too much pressure on their abdomen

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The Cross-Cradle or Football Hold

In this position you tuck your baby under your arm (on the same side that you’re nursing from) like a football or handbag. First, position your baby at your side, under your arm. She should be facing you with her nose level with your nipple and her feet pointing toward your back. Rest your arm on a pillow in your lap or right beside you, and support your baby’s shoulders, neck, and head with your hand. Using a C-hold (see picture), guide her to your nipple, chin first. But be careful — don’t push her toward your breast so much that she resists and arches her head against your hand. Use your forearm to support her upper back.

Best for: You may want to try this hold if you’ve had a Cesarean section (to avoid having the baby rest on your stomach). And if your baby is small or has trouble latching on, the hold allows you to guide her head to your nipple. It also works well for women who have large breasts or flat nipples, and for mothers of twins.

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For those of you who prefer to see the positions demonstrated, you can see this video. There are alot of pointers mentioned in the video. So mummy, tune up the volume and make sure you are paying attention.

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Side Lying Down Position

To nurse while lying on your side in bed, ask your partner or helper to place several pillows behind your back for support. You can put a pillow under your head and shoulders, and one between your bent knees, too. The goal is to keep your back and hips in a straight line. With your baby facing you, draw her close and cradle her head with the hand of your bottom arm. Or, cradle her head with your top arm, tucking your bottom arm under your head, out of the way. If your baby needs to be higher and closer to your breast, place a small pillow or folded receiving blanket under her head. She shouldn’t strain to reach your nipple, and you shouldn’t bend down toward her.

Best for: You may want to nurse lying down if you’re recovering from a cesarean or difficult delivery, sitting up is uncomfortable, or you’re nursing in bed at night or during the day

For me? The Cradle because I was most comfortable in it. For Matin’s mummy, its definitely the Side Lying Down Position and she often continues her sleep while little Matin is nursing, she still does that for her second son, Hadi.

What is your favourite position?