Timer Is Up

Parenting

timer Me: “Keatkeat, how did you feel when you heard your teachers said you were ‘Dreamy and Slow’?”

Keatkeat: “Sad.”

Me: “Do you like to feel sad?”

Keatkeat: “No.”

Me: “How would you like to feel?”

Keatkeat: “Excited.”

Me: “If the teachers tell you “Well done. You are much faster now in everything that you do.” Would you feel excited?”

Keatkeat: “No. I will just be Happy.”

Me: “So is feeling Happy better than Sad?”

Keatkeat: “Yes.”

Me: “So what must you do to feel Happy?”

Keatkeat: “Do things faster.”

Me: “So do you want to do things faster so that you can hear the teachers say good things about you and feel Happy?”

Keatkeat: “Yes. I will try.”

And so, the timer is up for everything that he does. Because I believe, ‘How You Do One Thing, Is How You Do EVERYTHING.’ Thus the timer is up for everything that he does.

Its improving…..at a sssllllooooowwww speed. *eyes rolled*

Punishment is served when the timer beats him and reward is given when he beats the timer.

The time limit which we are giving him is definitely more than sufficient, that is if he does NOT go into DAY-dreamland; which eerrrmmm….  is still his favourite hobby.

I clapped my hands so often to ‘wake‘ him up, that I get red palms at the end of every session. *eyes rolled*

What I can do in one minute, I will give him 3-4mins. That’s the ratio I’m working at now. So far I would say his beating rate (if he concentrates) is about 99%.

So Timer is Up from bathing to wearing socks to completing worksheets…. I hate to put my boy under such stress. But because the words of ALL his teachers were the same:- “Dreamy and Slow”, it affected his self-esteem. Thus I have to help him to bring back that confidence!

If the words of his teachers have no effect on him, I would not bother at all man! I’m Serious! *Grin*

13 Comments »

1st English Spelling

Parenting, School-study

Ever since I started giving tuition at 12years old, I had tried to use different methods to teach my students spelling. Different methods work for different students.

Now for the very first time, Keatkeat is introduced to spelling. Yes, you heard me right, he NEVER HAD SPELLING during his Kindergarten Days. So since its my son, I tried out All the methods I had ever used on my students, except the ‘singing‘ method, to see which works best for him.

First experience giving him Spelling was nothing short of a Sky Diving thrill ride. Too bad, I did not witness the safe landing. I had an appointment that evening. It was free fall without parachute before I left the house. And I left it to Allan to catch Keatkeat from the air.

This was what happened…..

15th Jan, Friday: I checked Keatkeat’s bag and found a loose sheet of paper. I saw the words ‘SPELLING ON 18TH JAN’. I almost fainted.

Because I know my boy’s learning ability, to give him only one day (16th Sat) to learn 10 words, and knowing he had NEVER had spelling in school before, he would be banging his head on the wall without a helmet!

I asked, “Keatkeat, when did you receive this spelling paper?”

Keatkeat: “Many days already.”

*FAINT* “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

He gave me the ‘How-would-I-know-you’d-be-THAT-Interested-in-this-paper?’ kind of look.

TRUE. He knew nothing about the expectation of the school when it comes to spelling. The only time he learned to spell words was when he tried to figure out what in the world is that pop-up box saying in his Facebook games.

I panicked. It was already late and he had tomorrow only (16th Saturday) to learn, because we are off to my in-laws house every Sunday. There is no way he can concentrate when his cousins are laughing and playing away.

Imagine:

  • First Time learning spelling.
  • 10 words for a first timer.
  • Only 1 day to learn.
  • And he had HOMEWORKS too!

*AAaaarrrrgggghhhhhh* I was prepared that he may fail his very first spelling.

16th Jan, Saturday Morning: Woke him up. Completed his homework pretty fast. Gave him a short break and spelling training began.

5 HOURS!!! And he still could not get them right. I wanted to stop many times in between. He wanted to stop and go play too. Then he contradicted himself. Being a perfectionist Scorpio, he wanted to get it all correct, yet he knew he could not take it anymore.

In between, I gave toilet breaks. Water breaks. Apple breaks. He wanted longer breaks, then we both fear that he might forget the words which he knows. He hates to see Crosses on his paper.

I was in a dilemma, and so was he. My dilemma was whether to support his in-born perfectionist nature or to satisfy his desire to play.

Time was running out and he started to show signs of stress:

  • His letter ‘d’ became a fishball in the middle of a tooth pick, neither looking like an ‘a’ or a ‘d’.
  • He started to write mirror image of the letter ’s’.
  • His letter ‘r’ became letter ‘n’.
  • He mixed words up ~ ‘chickens’ became ‘chicks’.
  • The worst part came when he held his pencil and stared blankly at the sheet of paper.

I had to keep scolding “What are you waiting for?!”
Then he looked at me and stared blankly into my face too.
I said, “Spell ‘animals’. Why are you looking at me? Write ‘animals’.”
He replied softy, “I forgot.”
I said, “Let’s stop!”
He got all frantic suddenly, two hands slapped his book down and said, “No no no! I want to spell. I want to spell.”

He was obviously too stress. I was scolding him for  his little writing errors listed above 99% of the time and NOT that he cannot remember the words.

His contradicting behaviour was driving me CRAZY!!!!

5 HOURS!!! On Spelling!!! Insane!!! I had to go and meet my friends for a birthday celebration. I need a break. Handed the 6 year old over to his Papa who just came home, all tired and sweaty .

Few hours later, while I was enjoying my dinner, I received Allan’s sms:

Picture 001


*Huge Laugh*

So for him, many mini-breaks can never beat an hour of dinner cum play break! *laugh*

sWhen I reached home, Keatkeat happily told me that he knew all the words and he ‘ordered‘ me to test him. And so I did.

Without hesitation on any word, he got it all correct and FINALLY got what he had been waiting for…… my starry-pictures.

He chooses what I should ‘draw’ using stars. So for that very first one, it was Christmas Tree.

Now, at home, his source of motivation is getting the starry pictures from me. In school, his source of motivation is the stickers from the teacher.

1a1b

Anyhow, that was the first and DEFINITELY the last time he is going to get so stressed up over spelling.

1cNow that we know how does the spelling sheet looks like and that it is usually given on Tuesday, we have decided to give him only 2 words per day.

We tried it last week. The result was AWESOME!!!! He enjoyed it and so did we! That is my boy’s threshold.

He is comfortable with 2 words per day. But it is extremely tiring for us. That is why I had been saying ‘There is Spelling Everyday!!!’ *laugh*

Slowly, but surely, we will level up that threshold. This week we will be trying 3 words per day. *wink*

But if you think his first encounter with English Spelling was drama, wait till you read my post on his Chinese Spelling. *laugh*

Till then,
the tired Mommy signing off now…..

18 Comments »

Why 8 Times?

Child, Parenting, School-study

Since some of you wanted to know why I had to go through my main door 8 times a day, I thought I might as well do a post about my schedule when its ’school-day’ for my boys.

7.15am: Wake BinBin up
8am: Bring Binbin to school (1st Time pass through my door)
8.10am: Return Home (2nd Time)
10am: Wake Keatkeat up
12pm: Fetch Binbin from School (3rd Time)

Right after which, we have to bring Keatkeat to school immediately. If Binbin’s teacher decides to dilly dally on a particular day, then we would be ‘running‘ to Keatkeat’s school.

Thereafter, Have lunch with Binbin and if there are errands to run, we would usually reach home at about 3-4pm

4pm: Return home with Binbin (4th Time)
5.45pm: Leave house to fetch Keatkeat (5th Time)
6.25pm: Return home with boys (6th Time)
Boys get to play for awhile before Keatkeat gets down to his homework and spelling and ‘tingxie’ (Chinese Spelling).
8pm: Out for Dinner (7th Time) Anytime earlier than that, my boys will have ‘problem‘ eating their dinner. Either they cannot finish or they would be eating at a damn slow speed. To prevent ‘nagging‘ from parents and ‘stressing‘ the boys up. Our dinner is usually at 8pm.

9+pm: Return home. (8th Time)
Complete unfinished homework. As to what time they sleep would depend on what time Keatkeat finishes his work.

Because I believe that the thing just before they migrate to their dreamland should be something they enjoy and considered fun in their vocabulary. So we do let them play (with/without us) for a while, even if its already 11pm, before we wish them “Good Night”.

16 Comments »

How to Prevent Autism

Child, Health, Parenting, Videos


Watch How to Prevent Autism, ADHD, Asperger’s-Avoid Baby Einstein in People & Blogs |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

No Comments »

Lion Dance Indulgence

Child, Parenting, Places Kids Love, Videos

kiThis week was extreme for my family. Everyone had some pretty absurd happenings for the past 9 days, except for the happy go lucky Binbin.

We badly needed a break from all the spellings, ‘ting xie’ (chinese spelling), endless homeworks, in and out of the house 8 times a day routine and the lack of fun ever since Keatkeat started Primary One.

So yesterday, after fetching Keatkeat from school at 6.15pm, we ignored the homework. Turn a blind eye to the spelling and ‘ting xie’. Forget about the madness of going through my main door 8 times a day. We just went ahead and had fun.

st

Witnessed the performances from some of the best teams flew in from different countries like China, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Taiwan was a wonderful experience.

The four of us stood on our feet from 7pm to 11pm. That is how much my boys love to watch lion dance performances. They were so eager to find out who would win this 3rd International Lion Dance Competition held at the Central, they insisted on staying till the very end of the show. My boys legs, though little but amazingly strong. *Smile*

And the Winner went to Our Singapore Team! Whoo-hoo!!! With no demerits and a high score of 9.40, just 0.1 point higher than the second team (China), what a close fight!!!

12 Comments »

My Greatest Fear…

Child, Health, Parenting, School-study

…. might come true afterall…. its a warning sign….

Over and over again, I had stressed that my greatest fear is to see my boys wearing glasses. Personally, I hate glasses. Though its totally on the opposite side as to why I started wearing one; and with EACH SIDE pushing towards the 1000 mark. *eyes rolled*

I scared them by doing this video. And they took heed till this day. So that video really worked!

The school educated them with these colourful stickers and they are still seen everywhere in my house.

I tried my best to prevent my fear from coming true, since there is still no conclusion to my research on whether myopia is hereditary.

Today Keatkeat told Allan before we set off for school…
“Papa, teacher put me at the last row. I cannot see some of the words on the white board.”

Allan instructed ‘his Secretary’ (a.k.a Me) straight away….
“Write a letter to his teacher and tell her about this.”

And so the secretary wrote (Damn! I should have just took a picture of my letter and could spare me the time from typing it now. *eyes rolled*)
“Dear Teacher, Zac* told us that he has trouble reading the words on the board ever since he had been placed at the back row. We have had his eyes checked few months ago. No signs of myopia.

He would like to sit at the first two rows, but he dare not request for it. Do you think you can grant him his wish by moving him forward? Or do you think we should send him for another eye examination?
Please advice.”

Today after school, Keatkeat announced, “Teacher change my place again. Now I am sitting in the center of the class. And I can see the words on the board clearly.”

I just cannot resist but Clapped and cheered “Yeah!” loudly!! Now, who cares about keeping a nice image in public! *eyes rolled* I Am Happy and I just had to show it with  Sound and Motion!!! *Grin*

***For those of you who may have missed my ‘Official Post’, Keatkeat is now known as Zac in school.

12 Comments »

Importance of Instructions

Child, Parenting

To me as a Mommy, (some call me cruel or dangerous Mommy) I do not like to keep repeating an instruction or a warning. Even if that thing could pose some danger, I would consider letting the child learn his lesson the hard way.

First week of school, because Binbin did not follow his teacher’s instructions, he almost lost his toe to that heavy wooden block. “Hold this with two hands, children.” was what the teacher instructed (so said the teacher herself).

But Binbin chose to show off his macho muscles and held it with one hand. Great! And THIS was his reward for not listening to his teacher’s advice.

Second week of school, nope, nothing bloody happened in school, but OUT of school. We went for sushi. Binbin tried to poke his finger UNDER the sushi belt, where unfriendly sharp edges were obvious.

Warned him verbally 2 to 3 times. Explained the possible dangers. Pulled his hands away. He obeyed. Nothing happened.

The craving for the 99cents sushi was still in him and so we went again the next day. This time, I refused to warn him more than once. A full (previous) day of warnings plus one final one on the day itself, to me, is abusing the purpose of giving warnings.

You know how nagging would end up on deaf ears, don’t you? Rather, the lesser the frequency of certain sentences, the more the child values it (sometimes).

My parenting mentality of ‘Make the Child Feels, instead of Make the Child Listens.’ decided to take over the protective Mommy. I Watched him poked his finger UNDER the belt.

Attempted Once, Twice and “Ouch!” His face turned white. He grabbed onto his index finger. Then his face turned red.

“This is what you get when you do not listen to Mommy’s instructions.” I fired at him. Heart aching but not even caressing or checking his injury.

That’s me. I want the kid to really feel. NOPE. Not the pain. But the sense of not being loved.

The 4 year old started to cry.

“Why are you crying?” I asked. ‘Cos I KNOW this boy has super high threshold for pain, so I knew its NOT pain that was causing the tears to flow.

“Because you scold me….” Sobbed away.

Expect me to pull him over and hug? NO way! If it was that easy, he would never learn the principle of obedience.

“Did I ask you to put your finger inside? Or did I ask you NOT to put your finger inside?” I probed.

“Cannot put inside….” sob sob sobbed.

“When you don’t listen to Mommy, what happens?”

“Pain. Got Blood.”

“So what now?”

“Sorry Mommy…”

Yup! That’s the magical word. Pulled him over, laid his head on my lap and his tears dried up like as if he was under the hand dryer. *eyes rolled* My only fear was the sharp edges might be rusty, so we did wash the wound up well.

Now, his finger is as good as new! But his toe Hhhmmm… not too pleasant looking yet, the skin is growing ‘all over the place’ to cover up the big wound…. *sigh* There goes the lesson on the importance of instructions….

***So, Blessed mom, your question answered. *wink*

10 Comments »

Mommy, You Got Blood!

Parenting, quotes

Oh Moomykin, please do not strangle me! I am EXTREMELY sorry I took so long to answer your question. My Oh My! *faint* It was March 2009, when Moomykin asked after my ‘Keeping It Simple’ post, “So, how have you explained the monthly visit to your boys? That I’d like to know, coz it’s such a girl thing.”

My boys knew about menstruation when they were 2-3 years old, the time when I brought them home from the care of my MIL for good. I became a full time stay at home mom.

Many of you might have noticed that my style of parenting is rather unusual. The things I do could be hard for some parents to down their throat. Least to say the older folks. They often say I had crossed the boundary into the forbidden city.

Do you bathe WITH your children, irregardless of their gender? I do. That’s the extremity of my parenting. Appearing naked infront of my children is totally unacceptable to my traditional-thinking in-laws.

Ok, back to Moomykin’s question. Because I wanted to be ‘accessible’ to my young boys (then), I kept my toilet door open even though I am enjoying my ‘bombing’ session.

There was this time, Keatkeat (3 years old then) came in and saw my ‘bread spread with strawberry jam‘, exclaimed, “Mommy, you got blood! Pain Pain? Sayang Sayang.” (**Sayang means ‘heartpain/caress’ over here.)

Me: “Keatkeat good boy. Mommy not pain. Sometimes Mommy will have blood. Then Mommy need to wear pampam, just like you. If not, my shorts will be dirty.”

That reply was good enough for a 3 year old Keatkeat.

As months/years passed, the questions changed along the way. But I am lumping them all up over here. Cannot really remember which question was asked at what age. *giggle*

Keatkeat: “Why you have blood every month?”

Me: “Because I am a big girl. A big girl will have blood every month. Does a girl looks like a boy? And a boy looks like a girl?”

Keatkeat: “No.”

Me: “Outside, they look different. Inside they are different too. That is how our body are.”

Keatkeat: “When I got blood, its painful. Why when you got blood it is not painful?”

Me: “When you pass urine, is it painful?”

Keatkeat: “No.”

Me: “Same for Mommy. When the blood comes out from below, it feels like passing urine. So it is not painful.”

Keatkeat: “So sometimes you pass urine and sometimes you pass blood?”

Me: *laugh* “Yes baby, yes…..”

That was the last time he asked about menstruation. But it is a topic we talk about naturally every now and then, especially when they want me to bathe together with them.

And when I said, “Sorry Babies, today I cannot, because…” before I could finish my sentence….

They filled in the blanks, “You got blood down there today. You don’t want us to step on the blood. We know.”

Me: “Yup! You two are sooooooo Smart!” *wink*

The seemingly hardest question is the easiest
when you can think like a child.

~ Angeline Foong

Oh Moomykin, I hope this answered your question. If you have more, I’d love to answer them again. Ok Ok, I promise, this time its going to be SPEEDY reply. *giggle*

You’ll forgive me, won’t ya? *wink*

13 Comments »
Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin