This has always been a debate.
However, you would not know till you try.
Most importantly, every child is different.
There is no right or wrong, but this is my view.
To me, reward is better than punishment IF MOTIVATING is the main reason.
The kids followed me to my Body Fat Loss class on Wednesday. I wanted to make sure that I get no interruption from them when I was sharing infront of the class, so while we were in the car, on the way to the venue, I said: “Kiddos, you MUST ‘leave me alone’ when we are there. Do not talk to me, if you have any request, go to Papa. If the two of you are able to do that, I will give the two of you a surprise tomorrow, ok?”
Kitkit: “Orh. Ok. I hope its not ice-cream.”
Binbin: “Ok. Are you going to bring us to a place?”
Me: “You’ll know tomorrow. IF you can do what I said earlier.”
I could have changed the sentence to “If you two did not do that, I will punish the two of you.”
Its just a change of words, but the impact on the kids will be very different.
One, is Motivated to get the surprise.
The other, is Fear of not doing it right.
I do not want my children to live in fear.
I like them to feel motivated and have the mindset of looking forward to the future.
Hence, I choose to give reward and not to threaten with punishment.
And they behaved soooooooooooo well!!!
So much so that one of my Singapore Partners came over and said: “Your boys are good. Very well-behaved. Volunteered themselves to help out and do their own things without disturbing.”
(oh well, they brought UNO and some small toys.)
Hearing praises of my children from another mummy’s mouth is so wonderful!!!
As a result, I bought each of them a small gift.
Nothing much, but I know they love fixing things, so this was a great gift for them!
Binbin loved it so much, he did this fluffy green heart for me right before he slept last night. Hooked it on my shirt and said: “Thank you for the surprise. I like it.”
Reward your child or Punish your child?
What’s your parenting style?
Reward vs Punishment