All About Your Child

Since Sting asked how was our 2nd round of Ben & Jerry Free Cone Day (Read Previous Post) here’s the answer:

I tried their new flavour: A Cookie Affair. Its a little ‘over‘ towards the last few bites.

Allan took Strawberry Cheesecake. Not satisfactory. I think the cheesecake king has too high an expectation.

Binbin chose Chocolate Macadamia. All 3 of us liked it.

And he had the BIGGEST scoop among the 3 of us. It was like 1 and a half scoop combined.

What has the little boy got to say about his ice-cream? Looking at the two chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, he giggled: “Mommy, look, ‘Neh Neh Pok’.” (i.e. breast)

Oh well, ya…in brown bra… *eyes rolled*

Last year, at the end of the ice-cream affair, Binbin said his knee hurts because of too much ice-cream *giggle*.

This year, my 4 year old vomited a little when he was trying to get that last mouth down. And his response?

“Mommy, no more ice-cream for me! Cold ice-cream makes me vomit!” He spoke with lots of anger alright?!

*huge laugh*

Well, based on that sentence, we shall see how long it will hold true and Hhhmmm… maybe I should let him try Hot ice-cream next time! *laugh*

Bedtime:

Keatkeat: “Mommy, I have to sleep quickly now.”

Me: “Good! Go. Good Night Baby.”

Keatkeat: “I MUST sleep FASTER than Papa.”

Me: “Great! Go quick.”

Keatkeat: “You know why?”

Me: “Why?”

Keatkeat: “The moment Papa SNORES I CANNOT SLEEP ALREADY!!!! So NOISY! How can I sleep?!”

Allan and I: “Hahahahahaha…..”

Allan rarely snores, but started snoring more often only recently.

Yesterday was a hysterical birthday celebration for M.Y., my youngest niece, the one who escaped from the clutches of death.

I have told her story on her birthday post last year. If you have time. Go read and you will know how strong willed this little being is.

Why hysterical?

All thanks to ‘someone‘ in the family who insisted on getting an ice-cream cake, instead of the usual. (name of person is kept private for good reasons *giggle*)

The cake was delivered to the doorstep in a ‘dry ice’ filled Styrofoam box. The cake was kept inside till evening, when it was time for the singing of birthday song and the blowing of candles.

Everything was great. Everyone’s only worry was ‘KEEP THE CAKE COLD, SO THAT IT DOES NOT MELT.’ *laugh*

Instead, THE CAKE WAS AS HARD AS ROCK!!!!! *HUGE LAUGH*

I was laughing uncontrollably!!!! I’m so sorry… damn! I’m still laughing now as I type. *laugh*

The KNIFE COULDN’T GO THROUGH IT AT ALL!!!! *laugh*

The cake was left in the open for another half hour, in the hope to MELT IT but the Knife Still Couldn’t Go Through it at all!!!

In the end, they had to HAMMER the knife into the cake! Guess what?! *laugh* THE KNIFE BROKE~!!!!! The handle broke off from the blade! *faint* The Cake was Still IN ONE PIECE!!! *HUGE laugh*

Everyone was SCOLDING that ‘someone‘ for ‘not sticking to the norm’. (So now you know why I shouldn’t say the person’s name?)

In the end, they need to use a CHOPPER and a HAMMER before the cake could be divided!!! *laugh*

Allan was in the room with the kids. He came out too late to give the most brilliant advice “Why didn’t you guys thought of heating the knife over a flame before cutting the cake? That would melt the cake easily with every cut, won’t it?”

What a Cake!!!! *huge laugh*

We were driving home after the Mothers’ Day celebration at my in-laws’ on Sunday night….

Keatkeat: “Mommy, D-U-C-K is ‘Duck’.”

Me: “Mm.”

Keatkeat: “T-R-U-C-K is ‘Truck’.”

Me: “Yes.”

Keatkeat: “Mommy, ‘Duck’ and ‘Truck’ rhymes right? Because both have ‘U.C.K.’?”

Me: “Yup.”

Keatkeat: “Mommy, what is ‘B-U-C-K’?”

Me: “Its a male deer. Male means boy-boy. Female means girl-girl. So ‘buck’ is a boy-boy deer.”

Keatkeat: “Mommy, then what is ‘F-U-C-K’?

The kids were sitting at the back, so Keatkeat didn’t see our jaws dropped! Allan and I looked at each other, speechless. I nudged Allan and gave him the ‘honour’ to answer that.

Allan: “Keatkeat, where did you learn that from?”

Keatkeat: “I want to find more words to rhyme with ‘Duck’. So I change the letter in-front. So ‘Fuck’ rhymes with ‘Duck’ right?”

I was giggling away as Allan continues….

Allan: “Keatkeat, its a vulgar language. Don’t learn. Not good.”

We were expecting him to ask ‘What is ‘vulgar?’. Surprisingly he didn’t. Maybe because Allan had already said that its ‘Not good and shouldn’t learn.’

I just hope he will NEVER say ‘Fuck rhymes with Duck‘ if his teacher EVER ask the class ‘Ok, children tell me all the words that rhymes with ‘Duck.”

*laugh*

Allan and the kids love to play “Whaaah”. They would run and hide somewhere behind pillars or walls. Wait for another person who is not hiding, who NORMALLY (already) knows where the hider is, to come close, JUMP IN FRONT OF HIM and go “Whaaah“, with 2 hands and ‘claws-like-fingers’ in the air.

Sometimes its the kids who will hide. Sometimes its Allan. The 3 boys have this mutual thing between them, they just know whose turn it is to hide and who is gonna be the one to have a heartbeat skipped.

Ok, this was what happened yesterday night when we were walking towards our car in the multi-storey carpark….

Keatkeat was in a bad mood. He was not in the mood to play, held my hand and strolled, while Binbin dashed to the last pillar BEFORE the multi-storey carpark. Everyone saw where he was hiding. As usual, we pretended to not know.

Just seconds before we were going to be ’surprised’, 2 men, appearing to be in a hurry, overtook us.

Binbin thought the footsteps were ours, JUMPED OUT with ‘CLAWS’ and “WHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” the 2 men!!!!

The poor men literally JUMPED UP with HANDS TO THEIR CHEST!!!

(OMG! I’M STILL LAUGHING SO HARD NOW… Oh Shut Up!)

The men in their 30s laughed so loud when they realised it was a shorty-little-thing that almost gave them the shock of their lives!

Binbin turned to us, folded his arms with the most crumbled face, “Why you all walk so slow!!! See lah! I ‘Whaaaahhh’ the wrong person!”

*Huge Laugh*

On the escalator, Binbin was ‘training’ his balancing skills as it moves upwards. Leaning back and forth repeatedly on the edge of the steps.

Me (Serious Tone): “Binbin! Are you suppose to move about like that when you are on the escalator?!”

Binbin: “But I’m holding VEeeeerrrryyy TighT already!”

Me (Ready to turn into an even more Serious Tone): “BIN BIN…”

Before I could continue, droplets of saliva splashed onto his face…*face red*

Binbin: “Aiyoooo, Mommy! Your saliva make my face all wet leh!!! Like washing my face leh!!!” as he brushes off my saliva with his tiny hand.

Me: “Sorry…sorry.. sorry…” trying very hard to control my laughter as I reached for the tissue paper in my bag… *giggle*

Anger was turned into embarrassment and guiltiness immediately!

My Binbin is well-known for his loudness, so everyone around heard it! Its public alright?!!!

*face red*

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My boys and I were napping together.

In my dream, I was driving. A red car dashed into my lane and WHAMP! we collided. Allan (in the dream) screamed at me: “Be CAREFUL!!!” But I couldn’t stop my car (like in all dreams) and I kept crashing onto more cars. Allan pulled my left arm really tight, I wanted to shake him off.

WHAMP! My elbow hit his face! He wailed!….*huh*

NO!!! It wasn’t him!

It was Binbin!!!

I ELBOWED MY BOY IN REALITY!

In my semi-consciousness, Binbin wailed: “Mommy! Why you beat me???!!”

Fighting to ‘Wake Up’……

When I was completely awake, I realised I woke my rooster boy from his nap with my elbow and his lips were BLEEDING!!!

Yes, Binbin was lying on my left side and (in my dreams) Allan was on my left side too! (Its right-hand drive in Singapore)

OMG!!!!

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time…..it was just too funny, yet to have hurt my 4 year old so badly in my unconsciousness made me feel so terrible…

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Sorry Baby Binbin, really! Sorry….

Damn! I’m still giggling as I type…. I’m so terrible!

Keatkeat: “Papa, you’ve got a friend called Godfrey right?”

Papa: “Yes, why?”

Keatkeat: “He likes to play golf when he is free? That’s why he is called Godfrey?”

**my 5 year old doesn’t know how the name is spelled.

I received this email from my neighbour…enjoy…
Hmmm….some of these conversations are so familiar, as I recall my days as a Child Care Center teacher *laugh*

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right….. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
______________ ___________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher