All About Your Child

Some of my close friends, who are also my faithful readers, often ‘scold‘ me, “Why do you always say that Keatkeat is very difficult to handle? He looks like a perfectly well-behaved boy to me (us).”

Even after sharing so many different incidents on this blog and outside of this blog to them, it seemed that it was not enough to put my message across.

Hhhmmm….probably what happened yesterday will finally make them ‘SEE‘ the light! *laugh*

Before I share what happened yesterday, let me make this clear. I strongly believe that God is fair and that in life there is always a balance. You have some and you lose some.

I am extremely thankful that I have two extremely different children. I had to pay so much attention on Keatkeat every single day that often I feel like I only have one child, because his 18months younger brother is so independent, understanding and reliable.

Each day, Keatkeat helps me to be a better Mummy. How? By doing things that people with common sense would NOT do! *laugh*

Seriously, I really feel that my level of patience gets to be upgraded with each passing day.

Common sense is VERY common to everyone in this family, except Keatkeat.

To him, his convenience is above all things else. Well, in layman terms, you can call him self-centered or subconsciously he does things that annoys us.

It IS his Scorpio-Goat personality in play.

And to Allan, personality is something that comes with him when he is born, unlike manners, which can be taught and cultivated. So to Allan, he has succumbed to that and for me, I just want to challenge myself to see if that can be changed.

So yes, every single day, Keatkeat would do something that is either a little annoying or ultra annoying, so much so that Allan will blow his top.

It IS a challenge that I face every day. Do I feel frustrated? No. I just feel that nothing is impossible so long as I do not give up. So I am taking it as a challenge for myself.

Alright, with so much said, what did he do yesterday which made us upset again?

During the afternoon, he wanted to blow his nose at the wash basin in the kitchen. Yes, the one which you wash your dishes in.

I stopped him in time and said, “Keatkeat, does your mucus have germs?”

KK: “yes.”

Me: “What do we wash in this basin?”

KK: “bowls and plates.”

Me: “So if you blow your nose here and I wash our bowls and plates here, what’s going to happen?”

KK: “bowls and plates will have germs and when we use the bowls and plates, we’ll be sick.”

Me: “Yes. So should you still blow your nose here?”

KK: “No.” and he walked to the toilet.

After we ate our dinner, I was almost done with washing the dishes and Keatkeat came and stood beside me and BLEW HIS NOSE INTO THE WASH BASIN!

YES! RIGHT BESIDE ME!

*Super Eyes Rolled*

You tell me?! Do you think he did it on purpose???!!!!

Well, let me tell you, he did not.

He did it because its so CONVENIENT!

He knew he had to take his medication (yes he is still unwell, infact his condition take a turn for the worse) after dinner. Which is why he came into the kitchen and stood beside me to wait for his medication to be given.

So while waiting, his nose tap was turned on and he just decides to flush his mucus down into the wash basin, which happened to be conveniently (placed) right infront of him; REGARDLESS IF THERE IS ANYTHING IN THE WASH BASIN!!!

Thank goodness! There was only ONE plate left! I rescued the rest of the bowls and plates. They must be CHEERING on the drainer!

Yes, his mucus was on that ONE PLATE!!!

My Reaction?!

“KEAT…KEAT!!!!” (as usual) followed by a sigh.

And just like every other time when he did something wrong, he would say, “Sorry Mummy. I don’t know why I did it.”

In my heart, I answered that question, “I know. Its your Scorpio-Goat personality at fault!”

Did I throw away that plate?

NO!

I kept it as a reminder for him. I called it the ‘Keatkeat Plate‘.

Me: “I am going to wash this plate and YOU and ONLY YOU will be using this plate. To REMIND YOU TO BLOW YOUR NOSE IN THE TOILET!”

You know what did he say?

KK: “You must wash it clean hor. Got germs.”

Me: “Oh! (acting surprise) You know got germs and you STILL choose to blow your nose HERE?!? Well, you eat your own germs better than others eat your germs right?”

*Super Eyes Rolled*

***Don’t worry, I had doubled and tripled washed/sterilised the ‘KeatKeat Plate‘.

Keatkeat passed my letter to his teacher on Friday. That same day, late afternoon, he called. For readers who missed my post “Making It Official“, Keatkeat = Zac.

Mr L.: “Hi, this is Mr L., Zac’s teacher. Are you Zac’s mother?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mr L.: “I received the letter, but this is the first time I heard of this.”

Me: “But Zac told me that he told you before in the past.”

Mr L.: “No. I do not remember this happening.”

Me: “Nevermind, that is not important. What’s important is what are you going to do about this?”

Mr L.: “I think it is only fair to listen to both sides of the story. I asked JD already and he admitted that he stepped on Zac’s feet. However, JD also told me that Zac purposely walked slowly and blocked him from going forward. That made JD frustrated, which made him retaliate.”

(which is the same thing JD told Keatkeat in their first confrontation in this post “Both Have Their Reasons“)

Mr L. continued: “So I think it is fair that I should give both a chance. Of ‘cos, any physical harm is wrong, but warning has been given to JD. If he does it again, then I will take actions.”

Me: “Is it necessary to wait for Zac to come home limping again or trip and fall before you can take such a simple action of changing their position in the line?”

Mr L.: “Both of them are around the same height. If I put JD at the back with the big boys, it does not look nice as a whole class. And I think everyone should be given a warning first before action is taken. As this is the first time I am hearing this, I think it would be fair that I observe first.”

he paused for a while and continued…

“Please do not hesitate to call me if Zac complains to you again, THEN I will take actions.”

Like I have said in my very first blog post on this topic, ‘Both‘ have their reasons for doing what they do. I know why Mr L. chose to do that, because I was a teacher in the past, I know the consequences if he just change the position.

JD’s parents would probably say something like, “Why do you trust Zac only? If Zac walks slowly on purpose, it is only normal that JD gets frustrated. So the problem maker is Zac.”

At the same time, I think my letter to him is necessary.

It acts as a warning to Mr L. that if it does happen again and Keatkeat has a fall or hurt himself *touch wood*, I am going to hold him responsible because he rejected my simple suggestion of changing their positions.

Period.

Enough is Enough! (part 2: Teacher’s Response)

Have been hoping that there will NOT be part 2 to this post “Both Have Their Reasons” published one month ago.

Yet, after one month, nothing was changed.

I think I have given the teachers and ‘the boy‘ enough chance already.

Enough is Enough!

I do NOT like to write complain letters or complain verbally to teachers, because I was a teacher myself in the past and I know how it feels.

It Sucks!

However, after ONE month, the teachers still treat my son’s feedback as a passing remark and nothing was done to make things better, I cannot remain silent anymore.

Will this work?
We shall see what Keatkeat says tomorrow…

Enough is Enough!

Does Your Child have these Bad Habits
Now that his friend reads my blog, I think it is better not to mention his name in this particular post. Well, I have more than one child. So take your pick and guess which child am I referring to…

Alright, my parent-child relationship with this boy of mine has been more of an uphill ride than anything else. Today, I am not going to talk about bad behaviour like being rude or lack of respect. This time my focus is on physical bad habits. These are his current bad habits that are driving Allan and I nuts!

1. He likes to stick out his tongue whenever he speaks. Almost very word he says has the ‘th-sound’ in it.

2. He often ask questions that none of us can understand and we need to probe many times before we finally understand what he is trying to ask. For example, “Mummy, why like that?” he asked pointing at something nowhere.

Me: “What like that?”
He: “Why not straight?”
Me: “What is not straight?!”
He: “That picture.”
Me: “Which picture?!!!”
He: “There! That picture on the lamp pole!”
Me: “That picture is straight! Why do you say its not straight?!”
He: “I mean the table in the picture is not straight, can’t you see?!”
*Super Eyes Rolled*

3. He likes to eat like a dog. He does not like to scoop up his food and put inside his mouth. He likes to scoop the food to the edge of the plate or bowl and bend his head down to eat from the edge of the plate or bowl.

4. He needs to pass motion in the middle of his meal. Either lunch or dinner time. This happens 98 times out of 100! Its especially irritating when we are eating at a coffeeshop whereby there is no toilet paper and obviously the Gents toilet seats are wet with urine. *eyes rolled*

To me, I think it is a health issue more than anything. This habit in particular does NOT drive me crazy, but it sure lit up the flame in his dad, who would scream at him whenever he says while he is still eating, “I want to go pass motion.” Because after accompanying my boy to the toilet, his dad has no more appetite to eat.

5. When you ask him to do something, eg. Wipe The Table. He would say cheerfully, “Ok!” And he would slap the wet cloth on the table, slide it across the table once to the left, once to the right and say “DONE!’ To him, so long as the table is wiped, it is done. He would argue, “You didn’t say it has to be every part of the table.” So everything that is instructed must be precise to the very last point! *faint*

6. Whenever Allan or I tell him to stop doing something, he would reply cheerfully, “Ok!” and would stop doing it. But in LESS THAN 10 seconds, he will do it again! No joke, its really less than 10 seconds!

7. Of ‘cos not forgetting his habitual farting which drives everyone in the family crazy?! At the dinner table, in the lift, in the car, in an air-conditioned place… you name it, he has done it in all possible places (almost). To me, I strongly believes that it is another health issue, so I am NOT angry but more of feeling helpless. His farting makes everyone else so pissed and lots of scolding and yelling at him will start, and THAT is not something that I like.

8. THIS IS HIS LATEST ADD-ON to his list of Bad Habits: He likes to rub his perspiration on his neck with his chin. He would bend his neck and RUBs meat over meat with his lower jaw slanted one side, mouth slightly open and tongue stuck out. I am sorry to say this, but whenever he does that, he has the retarded look and I REALLY do not like it. In fact, it is driving Allan MAD!

It has progressed from once in a few minutes to a few times in one minute. It IS getting from bad to worse and I do not know how to solve it. We told him to do it infront of the mirror, so that he could see how he looks, and he agreed that he looked ugly and did not like it; yet he choose to say that it is beyond his control. *scream*

Now it is no longer about perspiration. Even if he is NOT perspiring, he is still doing it! Can you imagine how awful it is when he keeps doing it as he speaks? He REALLY looks like a retarded person! *heartpain*

In the past, he used to have other bad habits too and they died over time. The less rooted bad habits were gone after rewards system was implemented. Others needed more time, more patience, more reminders before he could get rid of them.

But THIS LAST BAD HABIT on the list above is rather worrying because we noticed that it is affecting this posture, as one side of the shoulder is higher now because of the frequent tilting of the head and bending of the neck to one side.

So far, we have tried endless reminders. It is not working. He would say “Ok! I’ll stop.” cheerfully and do it again in less than 10seconds. *eyes rolled*

So now we are hoping that GOGO’s Crazy Bones can do the trick, since it is the thing that he wants most now. We said we would buy him a packet when he could stop doing it for one day, but the packet must remained unopened.

If he did not do that action for the second day, he can open the packet and take ONE Gogo out.

If he continues to control that bad habit on the third day, he can take the Second Gogo out.

And if he succeeds in ‘killing’ that bad habit on the fourth day, he can take the Last Gogo out from the packet.

And in all good faith, by not doing that ugly action in four straight days, we hope that it would be gone for good.

Ever since this agreement was made, two days have passed, and he has yet to achieve step one. Yes, he has NOT been able to control that action for one full day at all. Can you see how worried I am now?

Improvement has been minimal, but at least I can see that he IS really making a genuine effort to stop that bad habit. So long as his effort does not fade, my faith in him will not waver.

*fingers crossed*

Does Your Child have these Bad Habits

Over and over again,
Binbin showed that he loves his brother in more ways than one .
Yet,
over and over again,
Keatkeat used his brother’s love to his advantage.

Today,
it was an accident.
Yes,
accidents are unexpected.
Yet,
why does the one that showed the love had to be the one who suffer?

Keatkeat’s teeth was not well-brushed.
I told him to re-brush them.
I have a rule that my kids have to abide,
that is:
‘Instructions are to be followed once its given’
I do not like to repeat, ‘cos it breeds nagging…
and hence,
if I need to repeat an instruction,
punishment will be served.
Punishment in the form of taking away rewards…

I said: “Keatkeat, brush your teeth again.”
He did not move.

Binbin: “Gor (Bro), go brush your teeth.”
Keatkeat tried to run away from the toilet.
Binbin: “Gor, Mommy told you to brush your teeth! Go!” and tried to stop his elder brother from escaping…
Binbin understands the consequences of not following instructions,
so he tried his best to prevent his 7year old brother from being punished….

Yet,
the older
but less sensible brother
thought it was fun to run away from his younger brother’s clutches.

So Keatkeat tried to escape further.
Binbin stretched out his leg against the sliding door wardrobe.
Keatkeat pushed his way through.

The sliding door fell off its rollers,
landed straight onto Binbin’s toeS.

My heart was thinking, “Not Again!?!” after what happened previously.
(read blog post: ‘Learn it the ‘Wham’ Way‘)

And I was right.
It was not that bad.
IT WAS WORSE!!!!
Two Toes were injured!

I could imagine the force onto his toes when I saw the dent at the bottom of the fallen door:

I tried so hard to hold my tears.
My Heart Hurt So Much when I saw blood all over his fingers,
which were grabbing his bleeding toe…

I told myself,
I must not cry…
I took a wet hankie,
wrapped it round his toe,
added pressure on it to stop the bleeding…
the blood soaked through the hankie and onto my fingers…

“I must not cry, I must not cry…” I chanted to myself.
It seemed like forever trying to stop the blood,
and my heart pounded faster and faster…

The toe swelled
the skin sliced
the flesh bruised
the blood clotted

My super-pain-tolerant-boy could not fight the pain this time.
He wailed.
So loudly.
For so long.
Till he fell asleep in my arms.

When I heard his breathing deepens,
that’s when I could hold no more.
I cried.
My heart hurts so much, so much….