Handling a Teenager

Child, Development Stages, Handling Misbehaviour, Parenting, Teenage

Started blogging since 2007 and never regretted a single bit!
Its been more than 8 years!
Whoo-hoo!
*clap clap clap*

Ooops! Before I rattled on about how I am handling my dear teenager, I must say…………..
Happy 2016 everyone!
*laugh*
Well, I know we are already into the 22nd day of the year, but hey! never too late!

Wrote down your new year resolutions already?
I did!
Hope everyone will have a wish-fulfilling year!

Ok, back to what I wanna say.
Started blogging when Kitkit was 3 plus years old….awwww…. the love and hate year! *laugh* Not easy to handle his tantrums and the jealousy whenever I held Binbin, the hyper active toddler then.
Now, with Kitkit starting his teenage journey, its another round of challenge.
ATTITUDE! is the big issue now.

We had never bicker so much in the past!
Unless its harmful to his health or body, I would usually let him have his way. However, this time round, its different. He reasons with me. Well, I must say some made sense and some are just being unreasonable-reasons! He rolled his eyes often, give the ‘big sigh’ every now and then, as if he is being chained from head to toes and not forgetting the constant ‘tsk’ too!
Everything started just before PSLE (maybe he matured earlier) and now, I can see that ‘attitude’ blooming and it seems like its far from being full bloom.

I kept telling myself, its because he is getting lots of stress from his teachers, from school and himself too during the PSLE period; so I was extremely patient and in many occasions, I just forced myself to zip my lips. But that unwelcome ‘attitude’ did not change much even after the mega examination was over and I knew he was in his rebellious teenage years.

My parenting belief before I had kids till now (I have a kid and a teenager) has not changed : What was I like when I was at that age and how would I want to be treated by my parents?

So my mind went back in time to search for teenage Angeline….
And I realised it became easier to handle Kitkit.
Afterall, he IS MY SON!
There are more ways than one that we are very much alike.

Whenever he goes against what I instructed, be it on purpose or not, I would take a deep breath, lowered the ‘internal heat’ in me first, and asked him for the reason WHY he is not doing what he was being told to do. On my lucky days, he would give a reason. On my unlucky days, I will get “Because I like it.” *fiery eyes*

When I was a teenager, one thing I disliked most is restrictions. The more I am being restricted, the more rebellious I became. I guess, its not too different for my dear Kitkit as well. So what is really working for us now is negotiation. Sometimes he wins the negotiation and sometimes I do. I seriously do NOT believe in ‘Whatever Mummy says is right’ kind of parenting. I belief teenagers should be educated on the consequences of every action. Saying “No”, without saying “Why No.” just won’t stick into the head of a teenager. Saying “No” alone probably will last like some post-it-pad and not a super glue. Let them know the consequences, give them the power to decide and teach them to take responsibility of their own decision. Sometimes, when we let go, they choose to follow.

Parenting is to guide, not to guard.
Parenting is to reason, not to restrict.
Parenting is an act of love, not an act of authority.

So far, the methods I’m using are working for me (for now) while that ‘attitude’ is still blooming…not sure if what I am doing now can handle a full bloom ‘attitude’.
I am happy for now……at least he is still willing to hold my hand….

Happy Parenting! *wink*

hh

Handling a Teenager

 

 

Copyright © 2007-2016 All About Your Child. The contents on this blog are the sole property of the author, Angeline Foong, and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent. All Rights Reserved. 1 Comment »

He Sat on His Glasses

Handling Misbehaviour, kids talk, MoneyTalk for Kids, Parenting

AGAIN!
Yes!
He sat on his glasses again!
So this is his third pair of glasses.
*Aaarrggghhhh*

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There are certain (few, I would say) things I am extremely particular about, one of them is myopia. I had written TOO MANY posts on this topic and mentioned in the past about how heartbroken I would be if my children have myopia. Some of my blog posts on myopia includes: ~
Eye Sight
My Greatest Fear…
Numbers Which Broke My Heart

And my always-keep-me-on-my-toes elder son had it when he was in Primary 1.     *Heart Sunk Deep Down*

When we were in the mist of moving to our current temporary home during April 2012, the kids slept without a bed frame. It was just a mattress separating them from the floor.

He took out his glasses, placed it on the floor, played on his mattress. While playing, he shifted the mattress in a way that it laid ONTO the glasses and he slept on it over night; only to be discovered the next day when he realised it was not in his school bag. Yes, he could ‘not see’ that day in school.

Scratches on the lens could easily be seen and it affected his vision.

I am a Mummy who makes my child ‘pay‘ for their own mistakes. That is how they will remember and hopefully *fingers crossed* will NOT make the same mistake again.

So he paid $90 for his second pair of spectacles with his own money. Did paying for his own glasses helped him to remember his mistake? Oh yes! It sure did! He no longer puts it down beside his bed, he puts it beside his butt when he was in the car! *faint*

Yes, he sat on it and it CRACKED! So much so that the frame tilted in a way it affected his vision and gave him headaches. *shake head*

ng3

The left side that hooks behind the ear cannot be balanced. It is higher and does not touch the ground like the right side. All because its BROKEN at the left hinge.

ng4

See the part where the screw is?
Can you see the crack line that runs horizontally below the screw?

Once again, I brought him to the SAME optician, even he remembered us! “This was bought less than 3 months ago.” He continued to say, “Kids are just so careless.”

However, this time it hits Keatkeat harder, losing $50 and the colour frame that he loved.

The optician could not find the same frame in white, only red and blue are left. He wanted to choose white frame again, but it would cost him $40 more because the optician would need to make a totally new pair of lens to fit the new frame and Keatkeat did not want to pay the extra $40.

So it was between red and blue. Personally, I thought it would an easy choice for him because blue is his favourite colour, but he was VERY unhappy with his new blue glasses. Even after we had left the optical shop, he was still sulking.

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Me: “Keatkeat, I thought blue is your favourite colour? Why are you unhappy?”

KK: [He turned his back towards me and pointed at his heavily loaded school bag.] “Look at this, imagine the whole bag only has ONE COLOUR, blue colour. Do you think its nice? God made the world so colourful, if everything around us is just one colour, BLUE! Do you think it is boring? Its just like plain lame brain, RIGHT?!”

He was REALLY PISSED!!!

Me: “But your 2nd pair of glasses is completely white, isn’t that plain lame brain too?”

KK: “NO!” he snapped! “There is a black line on the side! Its a design! Its nicer! Not like this one, ALL BLUE!” *humph*

He was REALLY UPSET!!!

Allan had an appointment to attend today, so we took a bus ride home. He was calm and composed by the time we alighted after the 30mins journey. So I thought he would be alright thereafter. But I was wrong!

When we reached home, he exclaimed in his room, “Oh no! I have to find more ways to earn more money already. After giving you this $50, I am left with $2 in my piggy bank!”

From young, I teach my boys about the value of money and this has been flowing in his blood.

Seeing him feeling the pinch, it was my time to anchor in the good values again…

 

Me: “Keatkeat, why do you need to pay $50?”

KK: “Because I broke my spectacles.”

Me: “How did you break your spectacles?”

KK: “I sat on it.”

Me: “How can you prevent yourself to sit on it?”

KK: “Keep it in the box every time I take off my spectacles.”

Me: “So are you saying, if you KEEP your spectacles in the box right after you TAKE them off, you will NOT sit on it and so you will NOT break it and so you will NOT need to pay this $50?”

KK: “Yes, yes, yes! Left with $2 only! Shit lah!”

 

You may call me a sadist Mummy, but I am happy to see Keatkeat feeling so pissed. ‘cos if he is NOT upset enough, this son of mine will never change. He is that sort of kid who needs to learn the hard way……

 

He Sat on His Glasses

Copyright © 2007-2016 All About Your Child. The contents on this blog are the sole property of the author, Angeline Foong, and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent. All Rights Reserved. 2 Comments »