All About Your Child

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My 4-year-old was bored. He needed some entertainment. He looked for possibility from me. No chance. Busy finishing up my data-entries. Took a paper off his dad’s stack of unwanted scraps, and did this: -

Its Keatkeat’s VERY FIRST DRAWING of our family! Ermmm…there’s a few errors though….

Me: “Why is there a puppy? We don’t have a puppy in our house.”

Keatkeat shrugged his shoulders. Maybe he wanted one! Is this a hint? I chose not to ask for the fear of hearing “yes”. I used to have one and I know the commitment needed for the extra member, so its a no-no and I hate to reject him. So better not press further on that 4-legged animal.

Me: “Keatkeat, why are my hands so different from everyone else?”

Keatkeat: “Its not hands. Its wings!”

Oh my!!! Even though he knows my name is Angeline, but he doesn’t know what an angel is like, so he couldn’t be imagining me as an angel, would he?

Me: “Oh! (giggling a little) Why does Mommy have wings?”

Keatkeat: “You are like a flamingo. You can carry us on your back and we can all fly together up into the sky.”

So now I’ve become a bird……..my conclusion……….too much cartoons in his life! Still I love it. Kept it in my drawer, few years down the row, I’ll probably show it to its artist again, who may just laugh over it when he looked at it with more matured eyes….

Ever had preference over this? There was a report on Friday in Singapore Straits Times and these few days on Yahoo on Mother’s diet can help determine sex of child: Study.

The key-points in the article….

….a hearty breakfast laced with sugar to boost a woman’s chances of conceiving a son….Likewise, a low-energy diet that skimps on calories, minerals and nutrients is more likely to yield a female of the human species….

…..Beside racking up a higher calorie count, the group who produced more males were also more likely to have eaten a wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12.

The odds of an XY, or male outcome to a pregnancy also went up sharply “for women who consumed at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily …..

…..This research may help to explain why in developed countries, where many young women choose low calorie diets, the proportion of boys is falling…..The study’s findings, she added, could point to a “natural mechanism” for gender selection.

….While the mechanism is not yet understood, it is known from in vitro fertilisation research that higher levels of glucose, or sugar, encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos.

This has always been the question of “Do you actually have the right to choose? Whether you are getting a son or daughter is entirely based on God’s decision….”

I was the extreme I guess. Ever since I knew that getting a boy or girl is about X and Y, I believe that science do have its way of creating your ideal gender for your child. So I didn’t plan to start my baby-manufacturing-factory till I found a way to almost guarantee me a BOY!

I love boys! There are less worries, much less worries than when you have girls. For girls, you have to worry about their features, their mannerisms (do not sit with you legs open when wearing a skirt)….when they are in their teens, you worry about them staying out late, when they have boyfriends, you worry if they have already done it….blah blah blah…

There are also more cost involved for girls…their hair-clips, their dresses, their makeups, their jewellery, their shoes….but of cos’ everyone has been telling me that girls are still closer-to-the-heart even after they grew up, unlike boys who often say, “give me my space…” when they were only in their teens.

Anyhow, I still prefer boys. With Allan and I being so much like big kids, we can play ‘rough’ and go crazy without worrying, if they became too boyish unlike if we had girls.

So I read up! Bought this book, right after Allan proposed to me….it focuses more on diet than anything else.

But IT IS NOT COMPLETELY ACCURATE TOO, I realise. Until THE FOLLOWING HAPPENED: -

My regular customer, when I was running my bubble tea business, who became my dear friend now, paid over S$400 for a seminar on this.

Like me, she also prefers boys more than girls, but for a different reason. Being Chinese, boys are the ones who carry-on the surname, so they are more “treasured” than girls.

The speaker had a very unique method that guaranteed up to 99% of getting the gender you want. This S$400 seminar reveals the ideal position, the food to eat and most importantly when to do it. Ain’t I lucky, she shared with me for free!

Well I have 2 boys now and I credit it to this method. Unfortunately, my friend insisted that I DO NOT tell anyone else unless, she get some credit for it, or she will feel the pinch of paying S$400, while others get it for free…..SORRY girls!

My wish was to have 4 kids, 2 boys first and then 2 girls….but as most of you have read the post on how mentally stressed I am, I guess I won’t be making this 4-kids-in-the-family dream come true…*sigh*

Oh how funny the word ‘blood’ can sound! Poor guy got so irritated when all he was trying to do was inform his parent about the ‘blood’ he saw on his little sibling…..

Ever since Keatkeat started nursery last year, his teacher, Mdm Normah and I have been worried about his motor and social abilities. Partly because he is a year-end-kid, born in the month of November, he is naturally slower in many areas as compared to his classmates.

Just 2 weeks ago, Mdm Normah was still smiling from cheek to cheek, updating me on the impressive progress that Keatkeat is showing in school. Be it mingling with friends, which he hardly did for the entire 2007, he is always sitting at a corner, enjoying his solitary; or colouring and writing, Keatkeat is showing very speedy improvements. Credit goes to me of course! *laugh* Nah, not so thick-skinned.

Well I would say that the ‘lessons’ I gave him at home helped alot. Maybe one day I should write a long post on ‘How to improve your child’s motor and social skills through play.’

This morning when I brought him to school, Mdm Normah was extremely surprised to see me holding the box of tissue paper. Every kid has a tissue box dedicated to themselves only, for fairness and hygiene purposes. Whenever it starts to run low, she would make a note in their notebooks to inform the parents to bring in a new box.

Yesterday, Keatkeat was telling me that he was informed by Mdm Normah to bring in a replacement. Without second thoughts I looked at his notebook, there wasn’t such instructions written. But I trusted him and so I did as I was told.

Mdm Normah: “I’m surprised he told you. I didn’t have time to write down on all the notebooks, in fact it was just a passing comment. I intend to write the notice down today.”

She patted Keatkeat’s head, “Keatkeat, you remembered. Well done.” Was I proud? You bet! But this was a totally different feeling from what I heard 2 weeks ago.

Remember I was bedridden for days? Allan was the one who has been escorting the 4-year-old to school. Forgotten which day it was (I was very sick remember?), Allan came home and told me this…..

“Mdm Normah complained about Keatkeat today. She said Keatkeat pulled away Randell’s chair when Randell was about to sit down, causing Randell to fall on the ground….and Keatkeat kept talking to Kendrick when she was teaching…”

As if I wasn’t suffering enough physically then, this news came like a flying stone crashing through the glass window of my heart. No warnings given. Sudden. Unexpected. Shocked. Speechless. The shattered glasses cut deep into my heart as they fell heavily onto my stomach.

He sat down beside me on the bed, looked at me with guilty eyes. I know he did it, but what I am more concerned about is who taught him to do such a harmful act. If you have known me long enough, you know I strongly believe that ‘A Child is incapable of doing something unless he/she has seen how its been done.’

Me: “Why did you pull away Randell’s chair?”

Keatkeat (KK) shrugged his shoulders in silence.

Me: “Do you think it is correct to do that?”

KK remain silent and shook his head.

Me: “Did Randell hurt himself when he fell onto the ground?”

KK: “No, he was laughing.” Recalling back, he was giggling a little….

Me: “Do you think it is painful even though he was laughing?”

KK: “Yes. I know because Azman pull my chair when I was in the computer room and I fall down on the floor.”

See!!! I knew it! Bingo!

Me: “So it was painful.” KK nodded his head. “So why did you do it to Randell?” KK shrugged his shoulders again. There are many times a child does what they feel like doing at the time, will no ill-intentions at heart. That’s how the mind of a child this age works. Almost 99% of the time, they realised they have done wrong instantly after they did it.

Me: “So when Azman did that to you, did you tell Mdm Normah?”

KK: “No.” (Expected. That’s just him, he doesn’t speak up in school, even if he had been bullied.)

Me: “Why?” KK shrugged his shoulders again. “So you know its wrong to do such a thing. If ever such thing happens again, you MUST let the teacher know. Whenever Binbin do something you didn’t like, you would come straight to me to complain. In school, Mdm Normah is like your mummy, if your friends hurt you, you MUST tell her, ok? Promise?”

KK: “Yes” ….and he sticks out his pinky finger and hooked onto mine.

Do you know your child well enough to trust that what it seems to be is not what it is?

Tonight was musical night! Wow! Andrew Lloyd Webber’s masterpieces, what a talented man!

I loooooveee musicals, although I could hardly afford the tickets, I have seen a few and they were all sponsored. *wink*

My favourite musical has always been Phantom of the Opera and yes I am being bias here, my favourite performances of the night are songs from that you-can-never-get-sick-of musical of a life-time. Even Binbin is on my side tonight and here they are:

My favourite: David Cook

and the ever so cute David Archuleta

there are 2 other performances I liked; coming from Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson, it was hilarous when she pulled out that “Simon Loves Me (This Week)” T-shirt.

Brooke White did it again! She started out wrong, stopped and then started all over again. I am not too sure if Americans would see it as being an act of professionalism or a sign of incompetence.

Good Luck Brooke!

My 4-year-old had his development assessment check at the Polyclinic. His performance for his eye sight was perfect. So far so good, remember my post on my super duper high myopia  and how terrified I would be, if it could affect my boys….so no worries for now.

Gentle reminder from the nurse, “Don’t introduce computer games to him till he is 6 years old. Many kids have myopia as high as 300-400 when they reach 5 years old, all because of computer games and too much TV-watching.”

But the biggest words that came out from her mouth was, “Underweight & under-height.”

An average kid of Keatkeat’s age should be at least 107cm tall and weighs 17kg. But Keatkeat is standing at 100cm tall and weighed 15kg.

The nurse checked on Binbin (the 15month younger boy) and made a remark that I hear almost everyday from strangers, “I thought they were twins.”Binbin stand tall at 97cm (3cm shorter than his brother) and weighed 14.5kg (only 0.5kg lighter than his brother). “The younger brother must have been eating his brother’s share of food….” giggled the nurse.

But we know, with Binbin’s eating habits which comprises of so much vegetables and fruits in his diet, its hard that he doesn’t grow faster than other kids of his age.

Binbin passed with flying colours for his 2-3 years old development assessment and all the other on-the-spot tests like ‘name the animal’ and ‘blocks stacking’. Below is the development tracker for 4-6 years old and Keatkeat could do what was beyond his age pretty well, do you know of a child of this age group? Could he/she do these:

Personal Social
45.5mths - Your child uses a friend’s name when referring or speaking to the friend.

51mths - Your child can brush his teeth with some help.

54mths - Your child can dress himself up completely and correctly without help except for tying shoe laces and buttoning or zipping the back of dresses.

Fine Motor-Adaptive
47mths - When shown a picture card of a circle, your child can draw a figure approximating a circle that is closed or very nearly closed.

50mths - When shown a picture of a cross, your child can draw two lines, not necessarily straight exactly, which intersect at any point.

56mths - When shown a picture card of a square, your child can draw a figure with straight lines and with 4 square corners.

57.5/62.5mths - When asked to draw a picture of a boy or girl, your child can draw at least 3 or 6 parts.

Language
52mths - Your child can count from 1 to 10 in correct sequence.

55.5mths - When asked on the functions of a cup, a pencil and a chair, i.e. “What is a cup used for?”,  your child can give the correct answers to all 3 questions.

63.5mths - When shown coloured blocks in red, blue, green and yellow one at a time, he can name as least 3 colours correctly.

Gross Motor
41mths - Your child can jump breadth-wise across a piece of A4 size paper, without landing on the paper.

41.5mths - Your child can peddle a tricycle.

53.5mths - Your child can hop at least 2 times in a row, on one foot, without holding to any support.

How did your child fare?

A memory that will scar the childhood…that was what happened to me when my dad threw away all my dolls right before my eyes. I stopped him, I wrestled his strong arm, I snatched my dolls from his hands, but nothing works.

All I could managed was sat there crying out loud, “Papa, don’t throw…don’t throw…” as I peered through my watery eyes, brushing off the trickles from my face with the back of my hands. My voice grew weaker, slowly diminishing as my vision gets blurred from the tears as my playmates goes in pairs down the rubbish chute.

The hurt was done, the ugly emotion of hatred started to grow stronger….its one of the worst memories I had about my relationship with my dad.

I have forgotten why he did that. Maybe he found out that those were my rewards whenever my Mom wins on the gambling table; maybe he was to take revenge on his girl who had never showed any love for him, maybe he was just having a bad mood and needed to vent his anger on the helpless human like toy.

Its been more than 20 years now, but the moment, the emotions that stirred in my soul, the thoughts that raced through my mind are still as clear as distilled water.

Yesterday, Binbin threw away Keatkeat’s Mack head. As you can see, the head is detachable.

No one saw him threw it away, according to both sides of the story, what I could figure out was this….

‘Keatkeat found it difficult to attached the head back to the body and so he left it aside. Binbin probably insisted his brother to put the head in place but was refused. In a fit of anger, he threw it into the dustbin.’

I have emptied the dustbin in the morning, didn’t take much notice of the rubbish in the plastic bag. By the time we knew about this, it was past 2pm already.

Allan wanted to soothe his crying firstborn, who curled up on his bed, like a worm which was brutally stepped on, with his head buried under his bolster and pillow; went down to the rubbish dump on the ground floor in attempt to salvaged the severed head.

But the rubbish dump was piled up to his waist. The loving dad dropped his mission. There was nothing we could do. I carried him up and sat him on my lap, hugged him so tight as he hugged his knee just as tight, rocked him a little like what I used to do when he was a baby.

I felt his pain…I really do…it hurts…it hurts doubly hard when the pain is caused by someone he loved. You can see it on Binbin’s face, his remorse. The 3-year-old caressed his brother’s head but his small hand was brushed awat. The little boy said sorry, but it couldn’t reverse the damaged done.

The only way to let go of the old love is to get a replacement.

Allan brought him out to get the Car Transporter. That was the only way which stopped his tears…..

Keatkeat was determined to keep this to himself. He has always been a boy who’s willing to share. But not this time.

Binbin had his eye on the green car (see the one on the top [center]) All he wanted was that one small green car, nothing else, but Keatkeat was not giving in no matter what. Till today, his anger towards his only brother is still strong.

Allan and I have done our best to explain to both of them, the bottom-line - do not let a toy come between the love for each other. Binbin has no problem dealing with that. If you don’t have a 3-year-old, let me tell you, they filter away bad emotions like the flush of the toilet bowl.

Keatkeat understands, but its difficult for him to accept. For a 4-year-old boy, whereby toys are his only treasures, it will take time….only time can heal the broken hearted….