Bringing up kids is never a one-parent-show, it involves the whole family, everyone that is staying together with the children plays an important role.

Allan used to have very bad temper and the F-word start flying out of his mouth whenever he is scolding someone or complaining about something. So many times, indeed I have lost count, I had to tell him to hush and be careful with the words he say in-front of the boys.

My man improved. It took alot of effort from him, someone who used to say whatever he likes, whenever he likes. I guess it comes with age too. Now the F-word hardly comes out from the man’s mouth anymore. Seriously, it wasn’t time that change Allan’s choice of words, it was the children themselves who caused the change in him.

Keatkeat started to say ‘F*#K’ himself when he was just 2 years old. You can see the shock in Allan’s face. That completely changed my husband overnight. He finally realised how much impact a parent or any adult close to the child (like a caregiver or anyone staying under the same household), can have on the child. Even though his wife, me, have been chanting that fact in his ears….Humans are always like that, right? Seeing is believing.

Now we work as a team, whenever I behave in a wrong manner or say something that will cause a black-spot in the boys clean character-report-book, Allan would correct me right away. When he does something not right infront of the kids, I would not hesitate to tell him off too.

In the beginning both of us will get offended in one way or another. Hey, who likes to be told off anyway? Nobody! Humans like to be praised, not lectured. As we see our boys grow, we know that this step is unavoidable. Children do what they see and hear. The closer the person is to the child, the faster he learns from the person, the bigger the impact on the child.

I thank God that my sister and I did not follow the footsteps of my mother (sorry mom, but you really wasn’t a good example for us to follow)

Allan and I saw the result created from parents who is not careful with their words or watch their behaviour. Their kids talk like them, act like them and even have the same mannerism. Rude parents, rude children. Soft spoken parents, soft spoken children.

I know its tiring, I admit it is. I am tired too. To be alert and watchful all the time can really suck out energy from the body and mind. But looking at the brighter side, I actually became a better person. *wink*

Here’s to all parents, “before you want anything from your kids, ask yourself – are you like that in the first place? How can your kids become what you want them to be, when in the first place, they don’t have any example to follow?”