Ever since we moved to this temporary accommodation, I have been feeling hungry easily. The fragrance from my neighbour’s kitchen travel to mine thrice a day! I think she or he must be a great cook, but my hubby thinks otherwise because the smell seems the same to him every day. *laugh*

Anyway, since then I started to have my lunch at the same time as Binbin, which is 11am+, before he goes to school, thus leaving Keatkeat and Allan to have their own lunch.

Today, after Allan and I fetched Keatkeat from school, Allan asked: “Keatkeat, what do you want to eat? Mummy is not eating with us.”

Keatkeat: “Again?! Mummy, why do you eat so early nowadays?”

Allan [interrupted before I could answer]: “She feels hungry ok?”

Keatkeat: “Mummy, I want you to eat with me. For many days already, you did not eat lunch with me.”

Me: “Why do you want me to eat with you?”

Keatkeat: “Because I like lor! BUT WAIT! If you are REALLY hungry ah, then for goodness sake, go eat. I don’t want you to go hungry and wait for me.”

Me [chuckled]: “So confusing. One moment, you want me to eat lunch with you. Next moment, you want me to eat when I am hungry. Why did you change suddenly?”

Keatkeat: “Because I don’t want to get scolded by Papa. Later he blame me for making you go hungry, just because I ask you to wait for me to eat.”

Allan: “Of ‘Cos I will scold you! If Mummy don’t eat when she is hungry, she will have gastric pain. Very painful ok?! Its like people take your intestine and pull it.”

Keatkeat: “Ok lah ok lah. Mummy go eat with Binbin lah.”

Me [giggling]: “Ok ok…. I know how I can eat lunch with you and NOT feel hungry while I wait for you to come out from school. I shall start eating breakfast.”

Deep in my heart, I am grateful that Keatkeat voiced out his feelings of neglect. Constantly, I need my child to tell me how he feels, even without the need for me to ask.

Therefore, in order to achieve that aim, when I became a Mummy, I keep reminding myself that whenever my kids tells me what is in their hearts, I must either ‘act’ on it, ‘make changes’ to it or pay more attention to whatever issue it may be.

No bad remarks to be given to hurt their ego, nor negative comments, even if it is not inline with my values system. Only reason it out. Now that he is 8 years old, reasoning has become a very effective way of instilling good values.

Only then will they continue to feel comfortable telling me their deepest thoughts and feelings.If I do not do so, soon enough they will think “its no use telling Mummy or Papa what I think and feel, ‘cos they don’t bother to do anything about it, or worse, might get scolding. So I think, keep quiet better.”

With all my heart and will, I refused to let such a day come and the only way I can prevent that is to continue to tune my parenting style with each growing phase of theirs.

I want them to continue to open up and tell me, even when I did not ask…

 

 

Open Up, Tell Me! even when I didn’t ask…