Thought of the Day
Child, Development Stages, Handling Misbehaviour, Parenting, Preschool August 26th, 2008Binbin didn’t sleep till 1am last night. Nope, no tantrums, nothing out of the ordinary. He was just too excited and happy yesterday because everything went smoothly for him the whole day, that was the caused of his insomia.
He did so well for his very first attempt on ‘Bowling Buddies’ on my Facebook, got a couple of spares. His face was glowing with pride as he slowly fell asleep. Come to think of it, my Facebook games are played by everyone else except me, the owner of the account…Allan loved the games and was so addicted to it, which got the kids involved in it too and now Keatkeat is so good in the ‘Bowling Buddies’ that my sis opened a Facebook account just for him a few months ago….
When Binbin was truly in dreamland, my tummy was growling so loud I couldn’t ignore. So I got up, wanted to eat some Cheese Rings to shut my tummy up, but it went on with its protest till I had my bowl of instant noodles.
So Allan and I watched one of his favourite show ‘Dirty Jobs’ on Discovery Channel as I gobbled down that bowl of hot noodle soup. When that was done, I was too full to sleep (I do have a problem, don’t I…hmmmm…).
We kept switching channels till we saw a (repeat telecast) local Mandarin comedy variety program called ‘Conscience Found’ (in English).
The topic was on parenting. They acted out how parents through common practises slowly but surely spoiled their child, unknowingly. When they finally realised it, it was too late to turn back the clock…the show ended with this sentence…
(translated in English)
Kids are adorable,
but there are moments when they could be a pain in the ass too.
If we are too lenient towards them,
the consequence may turn out to be lamentable.
What are your thoughts about the above? I’m on the brink of breaking my angel-like patience with my 4-year-old Keatkeat already. Yes, I’ve mentioned before the characteristics of a 4-year-old. I thought I was prepared for it. Afterall, I’ve taught 4-years-old before and that was a whole bunch of them when I was in Child Care.
But then I realised that IT WAS DIFFERENT when it comes to your own kids, its just NOT THE SAME….you witness the change from a little angel to a little ‘devil’, someone who used to listen and goes with your whims and fancies has changed into someone who is all out to irritate you and when your confront him:
Me: “Keatkeat, why did you do this?”
Keatkeat: *Shrugged his shoulders*
Me: “Do you know by doing this, you will irritate me?”
Keatkeat: “Yes.”
Me: “Then why did you still do it?!”
Keatkeat: *Giggled* “I don’t know.”
Me: “You think it’s funny to this or it’s funny to irritate me?”
Keatkeat: *Giggled more*
(Then the man of the house would step in)
Allan: “Don’t need to talk to him, he never learns, let him feel physical pain, that’s how he will learn.”
Me: “Keatkeat, I don’t like to scold you and I don’t want to beat you like Papa, can you please (beggingly) stop all these nonsense?”
Keatkeat: “Sorry Mommy.”
Just when you have forgotten about the issue, he did it again in another way!!!! *Urgghhhhh* Then before I can open my mouth, Allan whacked him….you think that solved the problem? NO!!!!! ‘cos when the pain on the skin is long gone, Keatkeat is up to his mischief AGAIN! That’s how difficult a 4-year-old can be!!!!
So to me, those words of advice I saw at the end of the programme set me thinking….its not only about your parenting style its about changing your parenting style to suit the changing development stages of your child as he goes through self-exploration and changes in his personality before he is moulded and ‘take-shape’ permanently as a grown-up – that’s the challenging part!
August 26th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Hum, I think that there are a few ideas here. Number one is consistancy. Whatever your rules are they need to be consistant, with consistant consequences. We don’t do the whacking thing. We do either time outs or a loss of priviledges. Depends on the situation. It works over time. Usually the kids get it. But it sure isn’t easy.
The other thing is to NEVER give in. Say what you mean and follow through.
The other thing is to not spoil with food or toys or stuff. Spoil with attention, with hugs, with praise.
These are our basic rules. We’re not golden that’s for sure. There’s still struggle and strife but the kids know what to expect, they know what will get them into trouble, and they know what that trouble will look like. It helps them learn. Sure they’ll test they’re boundaries, sometimes a lot, but that’s what growing up is all about. Not for them to simply learn on command, but to know what CHOICES are the better ones.
Whew. And I’m only on my first cup of coffee!
Erins last blog post..BEND TO MY WILL BIG GREEN PHALIC THING!
August 26th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Honey I know how hard is to bring up kids!!!At that phase between 3 till 6 is NERVE RACKING!
Sometimes I feel like I’m about to loose control, but I know this is just a phase!…
Not an easy task at all!
And I agree with you,we have to adapt to fit their growing needs.
xoxo
Sandras last blog post..Harsh Temper Lady
August 26th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
well hubby is very lenient to his princess…but on the other hand, i am kinda strict to my angel…eventhough i adore her so much but sometimes she cannot be too spoiled…
well, even a 10 mth old baby is already testing my patience…i wonder what is my patient level when she turns 4 yeard old *headache*
andrewjunes last blog post..Parenthood Annual Modern Mum and Baby of the Year Contest 2008 – Part 1
August 27th, 2008 at 5:00 am
I completely agree with the poem, although I might have not been so blunt. I just saw a quote today that said something about how we’re treating children like adults today ()instead of parenting them) and we’re making childish adults for the future. Great thought-provoking post!
August 27th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Toddlers who challenge authority and your parenting really do drive me nuts too. I agree that we should start teaching them from young on discipline and be use the best technique which is suited to their temperment and ability to understand.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Like dominique said it, we should teach them from young and uses the best technique that suits your own kids.
I rather blessed in the sense that my 2 girls never really drives me up the wall..not yet..after so many yrs of disciplining them, they know by a look in the eye that if they did something wrong and usually will apologise in private..
couldn’t say that for my boy…he is teribly spoilt by everyone..got to start being firm with him soon..
Blessed mums last blog post..Count My Blessing
August 27th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
That happens to my girl not my 4 yr old boy. SO far, it is pretty easy to handle him. As for my girl, probably being the eldest, we have higher expectation of her. Nevertheless, they have yet to make me give up :)
Facebook games, my kids enjoy it too and they play it quite often.
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August 28th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Recently I bought a magazine on teaching our toddlers. it says we must discipline them to teach them right & wrong. If we don’t they won’t know & thus give us more headache.
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