All About Your Child

We have covered:

1. Establish firm and clear rules
2. Give clear and calm instructions
3. Be consistent

What happens when you have establish firm and clear rules, gave clear and calm instructions and your child still continues to do what he wants?

4) Back up instructions with logical consequences

If your child does not follow your request, choose a consequences that fits the situation.

“If you are arguing over the TV – it will be switched off for 10 minutes.”

Remember, be consistent and keep to the conditions. If the behaviour continues, you must tell your child what he is doing is wrong.

“You are still arguing and shouting – then the TV will be switched off for 1 hour (… the rest of the afternoon…).”

Other ways to discipline are…

• take away a small amount of the child’s pocket money
• ground your child for a short period
• take away a favourite possession such as a game or a bike for a short time

Choose a method that suits your family and the situation so that you will have the best chance of success.

It’s always good to make sure your instructions are heard and carried out.

3) Be Consistent

Your child will understand and learn faster about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour if you are consistent.

This means being predictable so children will know what to expect when they behave in certain ways.

It is of little use to laugh at their behaviour one day and then discipline them for the same behaviour several days or weeks or months later.

I remembered when my eldest niece was 4 years old, she ever said to her mummy, “stop calling me fat girl, if I call you fat girl, will you be happy?” Her mummy laughed, feeling amazed at her daughter’s response.

but mummy didn’t stop calling her “fat girl”….few months later the same daughter gave said the same words and guess what happened? “Don’t be rude, how can you talk back at me?! I gave birth to you, I can call you any names I want.”

“HUH???” I was shouting in my mind…

Its also important to get your spouse involved when laying out the rules. Work as a team. Plan methods of discipline with your husband or wife and agree with each other in front of your child. You should back each other up and work together.

My niece’s daddy was still laughing at the response and got a stare from the angry wife.

Your spouse should let your child know that he/she agrees with the rules you have set, example:

“Mummy said that you must finish your homework before you go out with your friends, eh? Yes, I agree. Finish your work and then you may go out.”

If you disagree on certain things, do so in private. Try to work out your differences so you present the same message to your child. Children become confused and difficult to manage if the rules change all the time and they receive conflicting message from you and your spouse.

Ask your child why he/she is misbehaving. This can do no harm and there may be a logical reason for the behaviour. – give the child a chance to talk.