Our school system penalises when we make mistakes. Yet, its through mistakes that we learn. Isn’t that contradicting?
We are taught NOT to make mistakes, yet its through mistakes, we grow, we improve, we excel.
No one has learned to ride a bicycle without falling once. (At least not that I know of. But, if you are that special one, I think you ought to be in the news.)
Mistakes are the best teacher. Its also a reflection of how well we know ourselves and our capabilities.
I see parents punishing their kids when the results from school tests did not meet THEIR (parents) expectations.
Seriously, I have always wanted to ask these parents, “Were you THAT BRIGHT a student when you were your child’s age?” “With the standard of what’s taught in school these days, would you have handled it better than your child?”
If no, then why are you expecting that from your kid who has your genes in his body? So who’s to blame? *wink*
Simple things like spelling. One wrong word and parents start to scream. The kids start to learn spelling with the mindset of pleasing the parents or rather to be spared from being punished or scolded.
Take a step back.
What is the real purpose of spelling in school? Its to grow the vocabulary in the brain shelf. In kids’ language “to make one smarter”.
Know what your child likes. My elder one, he loves to play games on his Facebook. But there are often pop-up boxes with sentences that he have no clue.
The word ‘spelling’ is probably the 2nd most feared word other than ‘examination’ in a student’s mind. That is how the kids around me feel. But when you give a purpose to spelling, a reason which the child loves, then things become easier. ‘Cos when the child is willing, everything else is easy peasy.
Give a purpose to everything.
I asked Keatkeat, “Would you like to be able to play games without the need to keep asking for help? Would you like to be able to play ANY games on the internet, because you know how to read?”
KK: “Yes.”
“That’s why spelling is important. Spelling makes you smarter. Spelling makes you change from a kid to an adult. Spelling makes you become independent and not rely on others. Spelling is like growing your wings so that you can fly and be free. Free to click around in the internet without clicking all the wrong things. And eventually, when you are so capable of reading on your own, you will have no problem finding new games or fun things to do.”
Give a purpose and complete it with a goal in mind.
For Keatkeat, his goal is to be free to roam in the internet.
Because of our school system and because of unrealistic expectations from parents, our children grow up fearing to go out of his comfort zone, to try new things, to explore the world of unlimited possibilities, all because he/she doesn’t want to taste failure, hence limiting his/her potential.
School system, we can’t change. But as parents, we can change our parenting style and the values we impart to our next generation.
Its a natural thing that a caterpillar will become a butterfly one day. But if everyone tells the caterpillar, “the higher you soar, the harder you fall.”
The caterpillar would probably choose to die in the cocoon before even giving itself a chance to see the world off the ground level, where the sky is the limit.
Mistakes big or small are but a measurement of how deep it sinks into the head and the heart.
Sad to say, there are some mistakes that create scars for life, like being burnt by a naked flame. Losing the ‘nice’ skin would be a wakening call to handle fire with care.
Some people doesn’t learn from mistakes, some say.
To me, its just an indication that the impact of that mistake is not strong enough for that person. When a person continues to make the same mistake over and over again, it becomes an unconscious habit for the person, so much so that the person doesn’t realise the need to change or worse, doesn’t even really feel that its a mistake.
Usually one such people would need to LOSE everything or LOSE that one thing he/she love most, before a significant change can be seen.
Many parents do not agree that, Though I do WARN my kids of the danger, as a parent, I don’t prevent my kids from making mistakes, I encourage. But I’ll be right there to guide him, to make him see how much he can grow from that mistake. Nonetheless, in the end, its him who decides if he wants to change and learn from the mistake.
Your child is not a robort, he has a mind of his own. And what goes on in his mind is dependent on the foundation you built for him.
So parents, upgrade your parenting skills often so that THAT foundation can withstand any storms.
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