All About Your Child

Yesterday was the last day of Chinese Lunar New Year Celebration. My boys collected lots more Hong Paos this year, simply because I have ended my retail business, hence we have more time to visit more relatives’ and friends’ homes.

Last year, they had $200 each. This year they had a total of $500. Hey, its quite a good reward for just visiting 9 houses. Because of the big drop change in our income, (sorry boys, hope you won’t be angry with us when you learn about this in time to come) instead of depositing the $500 into their bank account, which is my usual practice every year, this $500 need to go into the CDA account to fund for their school expenses.

Its scary how fast money disappear when children start schooling! We had $2000 in the CDA in the beginning of last year, 2007 and it was the first year Keatkeat began his long years of schooling. Now, the amount has dropped to $800+.

The rate of decrease will be double next year when Binbin starts to go nursery and Keatkeat is in Kindergarten 2. What really pissed me off is to pay for the school fees in June and December when there ISN’T any classes at all! Its school holiday! Why do I still need to pay for school fees when the school is closed?!

The most I could do is complain here in my small little corner. The ‘standard’ reply from the school is, “I’m sorry, but there is nothing we could do. This is decided by the Ministry of Education. We just had to follow whatever instructions we received.”

So Allan, may all good luck be with you, ‘cos the family expenses is going to be super heavy starting next year…..by then, I would have finished clearing all my beads for my handmade accessories, whereby I can really say ‘good bye’ to this business once and for all…..so all burden will be on Allan’s small shoulders.

Wish us luck?

Bringing up kids is never a one-parent-show, it involves the whole family, everyone that is staying together with the children plays an important role.

Allan used to have very bad temper and the F-word start flying out of his mouth whenever he is scolding someone or complaining about something. So many times, indeed I have lost count, I had to tell him to hush and be careful with the words he say in-front of the boys.

My man improved. It took alot of effort from him, someone who used to say whatever he likes, whenever he likes. I guess it comes with age too. Now the F-word hardly comes out from the man’s mouth anymore. Seriously, it wasn’t time that change Allan’s choice of words, it was the children themselves who caused the change in him.

Keatkeat started to say ‘F*#K’ himself when he was just 2 years old. You can see the shock in Allan’s face. That completely changed my husband overnight. He finally realised how much impact a parent or any adult close to the child (like a caregiver or anyone staying under the same household), can have on the child. Even though his wife, me, have been chanting that fact in his ears….Humans are always like that, right? Seeing is believing.

Now we work as a team, whenever I behave in a wrong manner or say something that will cause a black-spot in the boys clean character-report-book, Allan would correct me right away. When he does something not right infront of the kids, I would not hesitate to tell him off too.

In the beginning both of us will get offended in one way or another. Hey, who likes to be told off anyway? Nobody! Humans like to be praised, not lectured. As we see our boys grow, we know that this step is unavoidable. Children do what they see and hear. The closer the person is to the child, the faster he learns from the person, the bigger the impact on the child.

I thank God that my sister and I did not follow the footsteps of my mother (sorry mom, but you really wasn’t a good example for us to follow)

Allan and I saw the result created from parents who is not careful with their words or watch their behaviour. Their kids talk like them, act like them and even have the same mannerism. Rude parents, rude children. Soft spoken parents, soft spoken children.

I know its tiring, I admit it is. I am tired too. To be alert and watchful all the time can really suck out energy from the body and mind. But looking at the brighter side, I actually became a better person. *wink*

Here’s to all parents, “before you want anything from your kids, ask yourself – are you like that in the first place? How can your kids become what you want them to be, when in the first place, they don’t have any example to follow?”