All About Your Child

It’s always good to make sure your instructions are heard and carried out.

3) Be Consistent

Your child will understand and learn faster about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour if you are consistent.

This means being predictable so children will know what to expect when they behave in certain ways.

It is of little use to laugh at their behaviour one day and then discipline them for the same behaviour several days or weeks or months later.

I remembered when my eldest niece was 4 years old, she ever said to her mummy, “stop calling me fat girl, if I call you fat girl, will you be happy?” Her mummy laughed, feeling amazed at her daughter’s response.

but mummy didn’t stop calling her “fat girl”….few months later the same daughter gave said the same words and guess what happened? “Don’t be rude, how can you talk back at me?! I gave birth to you, I can call you any names I want.”

“HUH???” I was shouting in my mind…

Its also important to get your spouse involved when laying out the rules. Work as a team. Plan methods of discipline with your husband or wife and agree with each other in front of your child. You should back each other up and work together.

My niece’s daddy was still laughing at the response and got a stare from the angry wife.

Your spouse should let your child know that he/she agrees with the rules you have set, example:

“Mummy said that you must finish your homework before you go out with your friends, eh? Yes, I agree. Finish your work and then you may go out.”

If you disagree on certain things, do so in private. Try to work out your differences so you present the same message to your child. Children become confused and difficult to manage if the rules change all the time and they receive conflicting message from you and your spouse.

Ask your child why he/she is misbehaving. This can do no harm and there may be a logical reason for the behaviour. – give the child a chance to talk.

Did you try out the experiment posted yesterday? Hope you had fun…as you realise how important it is not to say “don’t”.

2) Give Clear and Calm Instructions

The way you talk to your children will influence whether they will cooperate or not.

Positive language will get a good response.

Remain calm. If you become angry, you risk losing your temper and hurting your child. If you feel angry, take a few moments to calm down before you talk to your child. Take some deep breaths or move away from the situation for a few seconds.

Think before you act , particularly about the outcome you want.

• move closer to your child, bend down to her eye level and use your child’s name. “KeatKeat, it’s time to visit grandma. Switch off the television and change your clothes.”
• Stay close and watch your child to see he/she does what you have requested.
• Praise and encourage your child for cooperating and showing the desired behaviour. “Thank you for switching off the TV. I’m glad you choose this shirt, grandma loves to see you in this shirt.”