You guys sure know what to give for baby shower. When I had my first boy, I called up all my friends and TOLD each of them what to buy for
me my baby. Aren’t I ‘thick-skinned’? There are valid reasons….
Firstly, I am the first among ALL my friends to have a baby. So they have no idea what to buy.
Secondly, I don’t want any duplicate presents. E.g. can you imagine having 2 baby bath tubs?
Thirdly, I didn’t want to receive a heartfelt gift from a person and yet the item doesn’t come in handy.
Honestly speaking, giving ang pao is the best. I can use the money to buy anything the baby needs…but again, when it comes to money, how much is considered as a presentable amount for people whom you have known for a long time and for people who are just office colleagues?
To the giver, S$20 may be good enough, yet to the receiver, it may seem too little…That’s why I usually don’t give ang paos. Yet, I hope to receive them….ahhhh….aren’t I contradicting? That’s woman right, can that be my excuse?
Been busy lately…haven’t been going by the MYOB (mind your own business) rule.
As most of you know, more than a week ago, my dear friend, Xiuyan, gave birth to a lovely girl. Xiuyan did not breastfeed her 1st daughter, but she would want to try breastfeeding her 2nd girl. She needed answers to her many concerns. I was glad to be her answering machine for this period.
I have no idea why did she come to me. Maybe because she feels comfortable asking me; after all we have been friends for 17 years. Or maybe because I have the most dramatic breastfeeding experience, all thanks to my MIL. Or maybe because I was the only one she knew who purely breastfed for 6 months without any formula. Whatever it is, I’m glad she gave me a chance to pay it forward.
The only person who supported my decision to breastfeed 4 years ago was my cousin, Navy. She breastfed her boy, Matin for 1 full year without any formula. Whenever I had problems, I would call her, but I realized some of the difficulties I encounter, she did not face them. So her support, in a way was limited.
I called up all the breastfeeding support groups’ telephone numbers I could find. Be it they were private support groups or hospital breastfeeding support groups, I called them all. I called them everyday or as and when new problems arise and when new concerns come to mind.
I needed answers; I needed lots of support because I was fighting this battle alone. Everyone around me told me to give up the idea of breastfeeding…but I shut my ears from them and choose to listen to strangers whom I have not even met. Their voice were encouraging, their answers were assuring, their tone was consoling. These groups of people were the one who pulled me through.
Many of them were volunteers giving up their precious time to help people like me, totally lost, yet still determined to find a way through the maze of confusion in breastfeeding. I remembered most of their names. After 6 months were through, I called them back and said “thank you” from the bottom of my heart. They actually recognized my voice and remembered me….I guess, I really bugged them too much….*wink*
Xiuyan’s situation is very different from mine. Everyone around her did not mind if she breastfeed or not. She has a maid to do all the housework. A confinement lady who doesn’t talk much, except on her hand phone (this was what I noticed when I was in Xiuyan’s house last Saturday), and takes care of the cooking and cleaning for the baby and Xiuyan. All Xiuyan needed to do was rest and breastfeed. Really envy her.
The funny part is, with so much support, Xiuyan had wanted to give up breastfeeding a couple of times, yet myself with so many objections, I choose to be rebellious and continue to breastfeed under all the pressure.
Something really touched my heart, that is, Xiuyan trusted me a lot. Whatever I share with her, she listens and she tries to do what I suggested. Every time she wants to give up, she will call me and I’ll try to encourage her and provide her with as much answers as possible. Then she will be up on her feet again ready to give breastfeeding another go.
Thank you Xiuyan! Breastfeeding is a personal choice, yet you choose to let me be part of that choice you make. I am glad to be of help and even more willing to be an on-call girl. Just let me know and I’ll be there.
To me, the joy of giving is often so much greater than the joy in receiving! Good Luck Girl!