All About Your Child

There is something that Allan and I feel very proud of as parents. We never had a pram. When Keatkeat was born, many of my friends wanted to buy a pram for him. We said no. Reasons?

– We realised that many prams turned out to be trolleys for the parents.

– Kids like to be close to their parents’ body. We knew that having strong arms is a must to be a parent. So complaining of being tired? Then go out less often.

– Its troublesome in many ways. Getting it folded and unfolded. Pushing it around in crowded areas. Finding lifts, to prevent carrying up the stairs. Taking up a big space in the boot where the space can be used for other things.

– We don’t want our kids to become lazy. (When other kids are in the pram, my kids at 1 years old, is already holding my hands, walking around the shopping centre with me.)

– To get a real good one – light and foldable using one hand for convenience, is really a big investment. Yet this investment do not give returns. After a few years, you had to throw away if no one wants to accept your 2nd-hand pram as a gift.

– Some prams are harder to clean than others. When the baby vomits some milk (which is soooooooo common and frequent), that smell can stay in that pram for days!

So instead of prams, we had baby slings. Mine was Navy Gingham Blue in colour (note: I am not getting any commission for this) Why?

– They are safe and secure.

– They keep the baby close to the mother’s body for comfort and security.

– Easy for breastfeeding. You can even breastfeed while walking.

– You can be totally hands free.

– The cloth is not too thick. So baby stays cool in it all day.

– Its machine washable.

– The cushion padding helps to lessen the weight pressed on your shoulders.

– The designs makes stains less visible.

– Its adjustable. To suit the baby or up the age of a 18 month old toddler.

– Its super affordable.

– After using it for 2 kids, its still look as good as new.

Seriously, for all first time parents, this is truly a wiser choice. In my view, that is.

As promised yesterday, today’s post is about the peak of all complaints from my mother-in-law (MIL) about my eldest sis-in-law (SIL) going for a trip to Hong Kong with her friends.

Allan’s eldest brother’s family live with my in-laws. Ever since my eldest sis-in-law was married into the Loh family, she had been having endless problems with my parents-in-law. Mainly due to her Malaysian habits being very different from the Singaporean old folks, or maybe its just simply because its the usual mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law issues.

I am not here to wreck up the past, not gonna talk about the thousand and one things they couldn’t agree with each other; rather, of all the big and small unpleasant commotion between the 2 of them, I am usually on the side of my SIL, but not this time.

Like the chinese idiom goes, “meeting up frequently is pleasant but staying together can be horrendous.” So true isn’t it? There is so much more understanding, accommodating needed or even closing one eye on each other’s habits that clashes with the principles in your world.

My SIL is a factory worker, a supervisor for a certain department. She work 4 days a week – Sunday to Wednesday. From 7am to 7pm. Currently the arrangement for the kids were – MIL will take care of the 3 children in the day. SIL will take care of the 3 children the moment she comes home and the other 3 days of the week when she doesn’t need to work.

All of a sudden, 2 weeks ago, SIL called me and told me that she is very excited about her trip to Hong Kong with her friends for 6 days.

My immediate question was, “Is MIL aware of this?”

“Not yet. But I asked MIL’s son, Allan’s eldest brother, if I could go and he said yes. I asked if he is capable of taking care of the youngest one, Weidong and he said yes.”

(Bullshit!) “Remember the night you were not in Singapore for the Company dinner in Malaysia? Weidong cried the whole night. Brother-in-law can’t pacify him, only MIL had the magic touch. Now you are going for 6 days, who do you think will take care of your 10month old baby eventually?”

“MIL.”

“Yes! You know it yourself! When you were pregnant with Weidong, remember how MIL threatened me about her stroke history, when she decided to stop taking care of my boys because she is afraid that her 62 year old body may be overstretched by 5 kids? She is afraid that she may have stroke again for the 3rd time if she is too worn out.

At that moment, I have decided. I rather stop my retail business and be a full-time mother with countless financial worries than to be blamed left-and-right for causing her to collapse!

I worry for you! I worry that if and I am saying IF anything happened to her health during these six days, who is going to take the blame?”

“Me.”

“That’s right! Anyway, have you bought the tickets already?”

“Yes.”

“Before you tell brother-in-law (BIL)?”

“The next day after I asked him.”

“Oh no. You have bought the tickets before even telling the old folks. They are going to touch on the ‘no-respect’ issue again about you. Why you didn’t think of telling them?”

“Well, since BIL gave his consent, I didn’t think it was necessary to get approval from the 2 of them.”

“So when will you tell them?”

“I guess I will let them know tonight after work.”

My MIL’s face was as black as charcoal! The following sentences were screamed at the face of my SIL and were repeatedly said to whoever that she wanted to complain to about her disrespectful DIL, over the past 2 weeks!

“You are a irresponsible mother! How could you enjoy yourself when you have a 10month old baby, who refused to let anyone else tuck him to sleep at night except myself and you? I had to take care of your 3 children, Zeng Yee, Mun Yee and Weidong in the daytime and now I had to take care of them at night too?! You want me to die of tiredness?

You don’t respect me at all? Who is the one taking care of your children? Its me! How could you act before even consulting me? How could you booked the tickets before even asking me? If you are so tempted to go for every other holiday trips that come along, then don’t get married, don’t give birth to children, be single forever.

Even if you want to go for holiday for enjoyment, do it when the children are much older, when they could take care of themselves. Not now, when your eldest daughter is only 7 years old.

When you have decided to be a mother, BE A MOTHER for goodness sake! Take care of your children. I am helping you to take care of your children while you work to support them. I am helping you. Its NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY to take care of them. Don’t take my kindness for granted. You gave birth to them, you are the one responsible for their well-being and growth.

How could you be so heartless? Weidong cried the whole night when you didn’t come home because of your company dinner in Malaysia. Now you want him to cry for 6 nights! That is torture to a baby. How could you?!”

Is my SIL wrong to go for this trip now?

See photos of all children mentioned above here