All About Your Child

Yes parenting is probably the most challenging job in the world, ‘cos the person(s) you are dealing with is your own flesh and blood,

In order to get out of a situation like working under an awful superior OR being in a job that sucks energy out of you more than the satisfaction it gives you, is just a resignation letter. But you can NEVER tender that letter to your child or children, or CAN YOU, like putting them in a box and leave them in the middle of a forest, eh?

It’s been days….I’ve lost count, that my 3 year old Binbin hasn’t been sleeping well. Tossing and turning in the middle of the night. Climbing up to my bed from his mattress and kicking his dad’s butt to the ground to ‘rightfully‘ own that spot next to me.

All these is fine, is tolerable, is rather understandable too. A nightmare would wake me up and when that happens, I would love to lie close to the person I love most or feel most secure with, in order to get myself back to dreamland again.

But yesterday (08.08.08) was a true nightmare, or rather an early wake up call from my little rooster. It was 6am in the morning, the sky was still as dark as my hair. Binbin started screaming and yelling at the top of his voice after he fell off the bed.

I hugged him, in attempt to console him and calm him down, at the same time to check if there was any injury or cuts, HE PUSHED ME AWAY! I was thinking, “Did he think that I was the one who pushed him off the bed?”

He continued his yelling, hey, my super-elastic-patience-band was on the verge of snapping. Afterall, I haven’t been getting well deserved rest ever since the 2 days of 12 hours of standing in the heat AND the tossing and turning of this little rascal every night. I wonder if this act was a punishment for me for leaving him alone with his dad and brother for 2 days. I wonder.

I coaxed him, I begged him with my eyes half-opened, “Yes Binbin, what is it? What do you want?” He was starting a tantrum, a real tantrum with kicking and banging and throwing stuff around…THAT WAS IT! I SNAPPED!!!

“Look here!!! You woke everyone up in the middle of the night just to see you throw a tantrum?! I can’t accept this! I’m gonna count to 3 (Binbin is too familiar with this, he knows that at the end of 3 counts, if he doesn’t answer my question, I will be out of his sight. The dearest person in the whole world out of his sight is the worst punishment for this little boy of mine. I hardly need to get to this for my elder son), TELL ME WHAT DO YOU WANT??!”

Without even saying “1”, he yelled, “I want glucose water!”

Fine! I’ll get you that! I get cooled down the moment the kid talks to me. I’m this kind of parent. You can throw a tantrum, you can whine, but at the end of it, you must tell me the reason behind the tantrum, behind the whining, that’s me. Don’t ever try to go non-stop on that, I’m not into that kind of game!

I got his glucose water, handed it to him. Did you think that was it? NO! He shove my hand away and knock his bottle off! Boy oh Boy, I was pissed. Hey I was very sleepy ok?! Can’t I be pissed? He wanted the glucose water, I gave it to him. Without drinking it, he slapped it off my hand!

THAT’S IT! You want a tantrum? I’ll give you a TANTRUM! I was slapping every pillow around me! I was even yelling! Oh yes I was! I stared at him and screamed at his face, “LIE DOWN AND DRINK YOUR GLUCOSE WATER RIGHT NOW!!!” This is a side of me that you probably could never have imagine, I guess! Don’t wake me up from my sleep for no reasons- that’s the hint! The only people I want to apologize to are my poor neighbours……but the crucial question is Did It Work???

It did!!!! Though in total shock and still in tears, he was still able to pick up the bottle and suck that sweet drink down his throat. It’s an open secret that sucking calms a baby and it still does for a toddler. Before he could even finish the 100ml off, he was fast asleep till 11.15am.

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Today or rather NOW, he did it again, but I was wide awake before he even started his rounds again. It started at 1am….now, it 3.30am. My tactic was very different today, (remember the hint? ‘cos I wasn’t asleep yet)

But I’m really tired now and he is finally willing to talk now. He just walked up to me to tell me that he wants to sleep, like as if nothing happened for the past 2 hours.

I’ve got to go get him and myself some rest….today’s story is more exciting…but I’ll leave it till the sun is up in the sky before I rant blog about it…so good night everyone….

I thought it was bad enough for me on Sunday with aching back and legs from Thursday’s and Friday’s 12 hours of standing in the heat, just to help my friend – but I was wrong. It was worse, as I recall, I guess it was one of the worst Sundays I had over at my parents-in-law’s house.

It was a crying day for children. Little one year old Weidong was having phelgmy cough and it irritated the little guy alot. He was either wailing away or throwing tantrums.

I went off to get my printer back from the repair shop for an hour, double-checked with my boys before I left, to see if they wanted to come along, they rejected without hesitation; but when I came back, Binbin was going crazy, uncontrollably knocking his small body all over the place, ya, the werewolf which we were once so familiar with came alive again, it took a slap on his leg from Allan (after 45mins of coaxing didn’t work) before he was even willing to talk.

Then the ultimate came when my 2nd niece, ZengYee insisted that my eldest niece, ChengHan stole her magnifying-glass box.

My MIL who is more like a mother to ZengYee than a grandma, scolded the crying ZengYee for being a proud girl, always wanting to show others what she has. My MIL repeatedly said, “If you didn’t show it to ‘others’, how would they have chance to take it from you?”

“Hey! That’s not right!” was screaming out of my heavy head, but never came out of my mouth. By saying that sentence, ain’t you (my MIL) indirectly saying that ChengHan did steal?!

(A little background story – ZengYee has always been under the care of my MIL. She hated her own parents mainly due to the way MIL treats my eldest sis-in-law, ZengYee’s mommy. Yes, its a very sad fact. Kids learn fast. They are sensitive creatures. And when her care-giver hates something or somebody, she follows like an obedient dog. That’s why ZengYee is more like a daughter to my MIL than her grandchild)

That sentence did not only poke into me like durian spikes, it stabbed straight into my 2nd sis-in-law’s heart, ChengHan’s Mommy. She stood up and started to pour out everything inside ChengHan’s bag. She even emptied her own bag to prove ChengHan’s innocence right before the very eyes of ZengYee.

“See! There is NOTHING like the magnifying-glass box in any of HanHan’s bag or mine! So Jiejie (big sis) did NOT steal your thing!” screamed my 2nd sis-in-law.

Then she continued her search in the entire house, looking for something that she haven’t even seen it herself – the magnifying-glass box. No one knew how it looked like. Even ChengHan hasn’t seen the box before.

My MIL knew my 2nd sis-in-law was pissed and quickly remarked, “Aiya, don’t need to look for it already. I must have swept it away and threw it into the dustbin. Don’t need to care about her (ZengYee), it must have been swept away by me yesterday lah.”

But that was not comforting to 2nd sis-in-law at all. She feels that MIL was just covering up (she told me during the 1hour chat over the phone yesterday) She was determined to find the box! She was determined to prove that ZengYee was lying. She wants to stop ZengYee from maligning ChengHan once and for all. Yes, ZengYee did put blame on ChengHan several times before, but the word ‘STEAL‘ has never appeared and that word is Serious! A word that should never be said without prove.

I told ZengYee to show me the magnifying glass, so that I know at least how big the box is. The thing about ZengYee is, when she starts to cry, she doesn’t talk or rather, she could NOT speak properly when she is half choking at her own tears, so nothing could be understood, hence there was no way to ask for a description of the box.

Then I saw something reflected the sunlight. It was a translucent rectangular box which looks like a perfect fit for the small magnifying glass, smaller than my palm. It was lying there motionless, hearing all the commotion, watching quietly at the chaos that was going around, right below Weidong’s Sarong bed.

I semi-ran over and picked it up. Shove it infront of the still-crying ZengYee, “Is this the box?!” She nodded without a word or a smile, took it from my hand and kept it in her bag.

“Aiya, you didn’t keep properly. It was not JieJie who steal it lah. (OMG! She actually did believe that ChengHan steal it!?) Quick! Go say sorry to Jiejie.” But ZengYee never did say sorry till 3 hours later, just before ChengHan left, in a most unwilling tone.

Oh my! I’ve loved ZengYee like my own ever since she was born. And Yes, I’m ranked number 2 in her heart (she told me herself). But she has changed ALOT ever since she started Primary 1. She has become very petty, uncooperative, more stubborn than before and worse, she starts to tell lies and put blame on others for her own negligence.

I used to be the only one who could open the door into her heart, because my MIL is either scolding or hitting, but now, she has even shut herself from me. I’m worried for her emotional growth. I’m concerned about her mental well-being. But till she opens up again…only then I can help her…

Now my 2nd sis-in-law has given up on her. She told ChengHan that she should never touch ZengYee’s things and if ZengYee refused to play with her, just don’t play with her. That shouldn’t be the way cousins should treat each other, isn’t it? Furthermore, it’s only once a week.

I understand that 2nd sis-in-law is just trying to protect her own child, but….there are other ways to solve this problem…there are…but her mind and heart is locked towards ZengYee.

It’s going to be ugly, awkward and really uncomfortable for future Sunday Family Day….and THIS coming Sunday is my Father-in-law’s ‘Lunar’ Birthday…..*sigh*