All About Your Child

Ever since Keatkeat started nursery last year, his teacher, Mdm Normah and I have been worried about his motor and social abilities. Partly because he is a year-end-kid, born in the month of November, he is naturally slower in many areas as compared to his classmates.

Just 2 weeks ago, Mdm Normah was still smiling from cheek to cheek, updating me on the impressive progress that Keatkeat is showing in school. Be it mingling with friends, which he hardly did for the entire 2007, he is always sitting at a corner, enjoying his solitary; or colouring and writing, Keatkeat is showing very speedy improvements. Credit goes to me of course! *laugh* Nah, not so thick-skinned.

Well I would say that the ‘lessons’ I gave him at home helped alot. Maybe one day I should write a long post on ‘How to improve your child’s motor and social skills through play.’

This morning when I brought him to school, Mdm Normah was extremely surprised to see me holding the box of tissue paper. Every kid has a tissue box dedicated to themselves only, for fairness and hygiene purposes. Whenever it starts to run low, she would make a note in their notebooks to inform the parents to bring in a new box.

Yesterday, Keatkeat was telling me that he was informed by Mdm Normah to bring in a replacement. Without second thoughts I looked at his notebook, there wasn’t such instructions written. But I trusted him and so I did as I was told.

Mdm Normah: “I’m surprised he told you. I didn’t have time to write down on all the notebooks, in fact it was just a passing comment. I intend to write the notice down today.”

She patted Keatkeat’s head, “Keatkeat, you remembered. Well done.” Was I proud? You bet! But this was a totally different feeling from what I heard 2 weeks ago.

Remember I was bedridden for days? Allan was the one who has been escorting the 4-year-old to school. Forgotten which day it was (I was very sick remember?), Allan came home and told me this…..

“Mdm Normah complained about Keatkeat today. She said Keatkeat pulled away Randell’s chair when Randell was about to sit down, causing Randell to fall on the ground….and Keatkeat kept talking to Kendrick when she was teaching…”

As if I wasn’t suffering enough physically then, this news came like a flying stone crashing through the glass window of my heart. No warnings given. Sudden. Unexpected. Shocked. Speechless. The shattered glasses cut deep into my heart as they fell heavily onto my stomach.

He sat down beside me on the bed, looked at me with guilty eyes. I know he did it, but what I am more concerned about is who taught him to do such a harmful act. If you have known me long enough, you know I strongly believe that ‘A Child is incapable of doing something unless he/she has seen how its been done.’

Me: “Why did you pull away Randell’s chair?”

Keatkeat (KK) shrugged his shoulders in silence.

Me: “Do you think it is correct to do that?”

KK remain silent and shook his head.

Me: “Did Randell hurt himself when he fell onto the ground?”

KK: “No, he was laughing.” Recalling back, he was giggling a little….

Me: “Do you think it is painful even though he was laughing?”

KK: “Yes. I know because Azman pull my chair when I was in the computer room and I fall down on the floor.”

See!!! I knew it! Bingo!

Me: “So it was painful.” KK nodded his head. “So why did you do it to Randell?” KK shrugged his shoulders again. There are many times a child does what they feel like doing at the time, will no ill-intentions at heart. That’s how the mind of a child this age works. Almost 99% of the time, they realised they have done wrong instantly after they did it.

Me: “So when Azman did that to you, did you tell Mdm Normah?”

KK: “No.” (Expected. That’s just him, he doesn’t speak up in school, even if he had been bullied.)

Me: “Why?” KK shrugged his shoulders again. “So you know its wrong to do such a thing. If ever such thing happens again, you MUST let the teacher know. Whenever Binbin do something you didn’t like, you would come straight to me to complain. In school, Mdm Normah is like your mummy, if your friends hurt you, you MUST tell her, ok? Promise?”

KK: “Yes” ….and he sticks out his pinky finger and hooked onto mine.

Do you know your child well enough to trust that what it seems to be is not what it is?

How to become a nagy parent? That’s a piece of cake. Just be overly-concern and overly protective of your child; and there you have it. You are a certified nagy parent.

I am guilty of that some times, especially when it comes to situation where one mistake could cause a scar of a lifetime.

“stay away from the hot water…if it touches you, your skin could drop off…”

“stay away from the stove when Mommy and Papa is cooking…the fire will burn you like the way you saw the paper burnt…”

“watch your fingers….your toes….when opening the door…”

“keep your hands away from the sliding door of the lift….”

Almost half a year ago, Binbin’s 2nd right toe-nail was literally lifted off his tiny toe, all because he was too excited to open the main door to welcome back his Ah Yee. That was a lesson he will never forget. The blood, the many weeks of caution, when at play, before his new toe-nail finally grew back. Binbin remembers, till this very day.

I have a friend, Christina, who believes that its better to let her children experience the pain than to describe it to her 2 boys. She believes that it leaves a deeper impression; but she is far from being abusive. Her heartaches but she thinks its necessary in parenting.

For example, after boiling a kettle of water, she would ask her children, “you know why I say never come near to a kettle when I am boiling it? This is why…put a finger on the kettle now….”

Being curious kids, they do, and do they remember ‘never to get near the kettle again’? You bet!

Keatkeat has reached the age where experience speaks louder than words. He has been warned over a thousand times to keep his hands off the sliding door of the lift. Kicking the habit seems to be really hard for him, till yesterday.

Yup! His left hand, four fingers were stuck in the small gap between the retracting door and the lift frame. The lift door was still dragging his fingers deeper into the frame when we realised Keatkeat was crying. Allan try to pull the door in the opposite direction while I try to pull out the hand of the screaming Keatkeat.

My heart was pounding like crazy….my mind was running wild….scary thoughts were flying in my brain….

Thank God, all was well. All 4 fingers are out, blue-black, no broken bones. Do you think he kicked his bad habit of putting his hands on the door now, 100% yes!