All About Your Child

….continuation from yesterday’s post. People come, people go. Everyday or even every minute or second, someone is prounounced dead; at the same moment in another part of the world, a child is born. That’s life isn’t it? So often we may go the extra mile to get what we want and think we can hold it forever, but we are but pilgrims on this earth, we came with nothing and hence nothing shall leave with us….but memories alone.

Suprisingly Bear-nin is ‘looking-better’ today. She is able to speak better and louder, able to eat and drink, even her breathing is more stable. Did the doctor gave us a fright for nothing?! *@#$%^

The doctor in charge said its almost like a miracle that her condition has changed for the better without medication for 2 days already. (who knows? maybe it was the medication that is killing her) Anyhow, she is still under observation still.

What a sick joke!

Will I be hearing a call from my relative to say Bear-nin is gone? Its going to be 12 midnight soon. 24 hours, the limit given by the doctor is going to be up. The time is ticking….If you have no idea what I am rambling about, please read yesterday’s post – Sadness.

I can’t get myself to sleep. I am grumpy the whole day, even though I have a new person who came to my house, bought my handmade accessories and would like to take consignment from me to sell. With one more person to help clear my stocks, I can really ‘retire’ soon. A news like this could cheer me up for days, but not today.

I didn’t feel like writing, but I think the blogger-spirit is haunting me. Somehow, blogging daily has become a habit, an addiction, a responsibility, a must, a have-to, irregardless of how I feel. Such a feeling is terrible, its like seeing a shit on the floor, stinky and smelly, and yet try to psycho myself to ignore it. How to? So here I am, infront of my PC, typing away, so that today will not be an empty post.

I am troubled, sad, unhappy, angry, you name it (all the bad feelings) I am experiencing them all now. Will I hear my phone ring in the wee hours of the morning? Those of you who are familiar with my story, would know that I am always craving for parental love when I was young.

I have been staying at different auntie’s house since I was born. To me, all aunties who took care of me are like moms to me and Bear-nin is the one who had never showed the bad side of a human. She was a very good ‘mom’…..I envy her 5 children.

……..that’s it for now, will try to close my eyes, will try to sleep…good night everyone.