All About Your Child

Remember I said, it doesn’t seem like a good year?

My mother’s 2nd elder brother’s wife, in short, my auntie, we call her Bear-nin (Hainanese word for auntie) is in her advanced stage of Liver cancer. The doctor said she only have 1 more day to go….

We went to visit her in Singapore General Hospital. Hated this place. The place where my Papa go for all his big and small operations and the place where he pass away. Its a place where I wouldn’t want to take a look at even when we drove past. Still remember so clearly the day he died. An idiot relative made a stupid remark, “No wonder your dad die. He is staying at Block 4, Level 4, bed 44. The number 4 is already an inauspicious number, he had 4 of them, sure die.”

What an idiot!!! I was too young, too shocked, too stunned by the death, didn’t know how to react to that ridiculous comment. If that idiot tell that to me now, I would have glared at him till he dropped dead and said, “I pity you don’t have a brain to think before you speak. Mindless Fool!”

Her whole body swelled up. Water retention. My Chinese physician uncle examined her. He said, “Bear-nin’s liver and both kidneys have failed completely. The cancer cells have spread to all other parts of her body. Her heartbeat is weak, very weak. The oxygen mask is just there to support her heart. Once the heart is too weak or once she don’t have enough energy to breathe in the oxygen. She will be gone.”

Bear-ley, Bear-nin’s husband asked, “is she in pain? she looks like she is in pain.” My Physician uncle replied, “No. If its really painful, her pulse would beat very fast and in her state, she would have been gone already because for the heart to beat at a fast rate needs too much energy.”

Bear-nin, a woman with the kindest heart in the world, an auntie who once took care of me for 1 year, brought me to kindergarten, bathed me, cooked for me, bought sweets, toys and clothes for me; was my mother for that 1 year.

Bear-nin, a woman who has so much love for her family and relatives, who is so often taken granted for, back-stabbed, hurt by everyone she loved.

She couldn’t say much. Just lying there on the sick bed frowning. But I guess, the person she would want to see most would be her eldest son, who made an announcement to the world through the Newspapers, “I am no longer my mother’s son, She is no longer my mother as of this very moment. With full names and birth dates of both of them written on that big section in The Straits Times more than 20 years ago.”

What hurtful words. I was too young to know the full story then. The old folks believed that his wife changed his personality, stole the love he had for the mother. Bear-nin has never, NEVER done him or anybody wrong. She has never been indebted to anyone in her life on this planet.

Among everyone Bear-nin loved, my mother was like her daughter. My mother was still a very young girl when Bear-nin was married to Bear-ley. My mom stayed with them till my dad came along. For more than 20 years, Bear-nin and my mom were soul mates, but for the next 20 years, my mom did nothing but hurt her time and time again. My mom lied to her, pawn her jewelleries, even her wedding ring is gone because of my mom, took advantage of her ever-forgiving heart and tricked her time and time again.

Was my mom a bad woman? By nature, No. Its the addiction for gambling that turned a once promising young woman into an unbelievable liar.

Bear-nin’s cookery skills is superb and because Bear-ley was a chief in a high class restaurant, the two often whipped up a feast for everyone during Chinese New Year. Everyone was so happy then, everyone was so united then, all the 11 cousins are always seen laughing and chatting together.

But after so many hurt was done to Bear-nin, such gatherings were long lost in time. Today, when the cousins met at the hospital, there wasn’t much words exchanged, no one seem really interested to know how each other was getting along after so many years. What has happened to the love between cousins? Why is the love of the younger generation being punished because of all the longstanding grudge between the older generation?

Bear-nin will be gone tomorrow. Her face, her expressions, her voice, her hearing aid kit, her mole on the nose, her small petite body will be gone…..forever.

“Bear-nin, I am grateful to you for taking care of me when I was unwanted. I am indebted to you because of what my mom did. I am thankful that you came into this world to show what it means to have an ever-forgiving heart. I am blessed to have you in my life. Finally, you can leave this place called Earth, a place which gave you lots of joy accompanied with even more pain. Leave in peace. Till we meet again in another place, you’ll always be remembered in my heart. Thank you Bear-nin, love you.”

Myopia came and stayed with me since I was 8 years old. My eyesight degree then was 300 on both sides. 2 years ago, myopia’s friend, astigmatism, came along. By then myopia has increased to 8.50 (right) and 9.75 (left) over the years and astigmatism was 1.00 (right) and 0.75 (left) when she first arrived.

When I was a little child, adults told me that bad eyesight is hereditary. My dad had almost perfect eyesight but my mom’s myopia was above 10.00 for both eyes.

Today, I went for an eye check again. My six sense never failed me. Myopia and astigmatism has decided to increase further. Now I am (myopic) 8.75 (right) and 9.75 (left) and (astigmatic) 1.25 (right) and 1.00 (left).

Ever since I had my first glasses, I have been very careful with my eyes. Whatever myths on how-to-get-good eyesight, I will definitely try them out. From eating fish and carrots to looking at grasses and green leaves, I have tried them all.

None of them worked. Over the years, my degree just kept increasing. Many say that when one wear contact lenses, the degree tends to stay put. For me, it merely slows down the rate of increment.

Now I had to switch to contact lenses that are astigmatic for my right eye. Its completely hopeless when night falls when I am still wearing my astigmatic-free contact lenses.

I am worried. Very troubled. My dream was to go for a Lasik surgery to get it over and done with. But now, even Lasik is not the answer, ‘cos Lasik only get rid of myopia. Very soon…I foresee, I will not be able to wear contact lenses anymore, I wonder, what’s the limit for contact lenses…..if my degree continues to rise.

I worry for my boys too. They have such bright eyes. They have eyes that speaks to you. How horrible would it be, if their eyes were blocked by an awful spectacle resting on the nose and the ears?

This was what I found today…..

Is Bad Eyesight Hereditary?

Alderwood Vision Therapy said No

WikiAnswers said Yes

Is myopia hereditary?

isee.org said No

Healthlink said Yes

I am confused. So is it a Yes or No?

I thought by marrying someone with perfect or near perfect eyesight, I can lower down the chances of my kids being myopic, but….

MedHelp said Not True

I hate the fact that I am short-sighted. There are so many inconveniences, especially when you are a woman. Make-up, looking pretty or even simply feeling carefree is out of the question when the first thing you see when you open your eyes every morning is BLURNESS!

Will my kids have it? I am super duper particular when it comes to protecting my boys’ eyes. I try my best to make sure that they don’t watch the TV or play games on the PC for too long. There must be a break from the square box every 30 minutes.

I constantly remind them to have a good distance of about 30cm from their books and when they are doing their worksheets.

I try, I really am trying very hard, all ways and means to protect my boys sparkling eyes…..

Lord, bless my kids, may myopia and astigmatism be far far away from them…..Amen.