All About Your Child

I tried to wean my boys off the milk bottle mid last year when Binbin had a great fall, which ended with cracked lips and swollen gums. It was very bad and I just realised I did not blog about it! *eyes rolled*

Anyway, I took that opportunity to wean my boys off the bottle. Its pointless to wean one and not the other when the one that is ’suffering’ can see his sibling sucking the milk bottle teat in pleasure.

The off-bottle days lasted 2 weeks only. Thereafter, Binbin lost interest in milk completely! That is the LAST thing I want. Milk is so important to a child’s early stages. He did NOT ask for the bottle either. He just completely lost interest in the white dope altogether. *frowned*

But I followed my 6th sense: passed him the bottle after 1 week of milk-less days……. And the milk drinking routine came back….but back to the bottle again. *sigh*

So what happened this time which kept their bottle away for so long?

Well, in late March, one teat broke. They refused to ‘taste each other’s saliva’ and I honestly have no idea whose teat it belonged to PLUS, my deliberate excuse of “Sorry boys I forgot to buy a new teat.” kept them away from sucking till now. *Yippee*

So its 2 months in and counting….. *fingers and toes crossed*

30 days of School Holiday might suck up the creative brain cells of many parents. When you have run out of ideas what to do with your child. Take a break and give your child a chance to plan his own school holiday itinerary!

Here’s what my 5 year old child planned….
*giggle*

He said: “Yesterday I say we all eat lunch first, then do worksheet, then you play with us, then do worksheet, then play play play play, then after that wait for at night, and then eat dinner, then after that bathe, then sleep.” *ding*

Did you let your child plan his own time-table during the school holidays too? Its good to take a step back every now and then and allow your child to learn to make decisions. *Grin*

With decision, comes action, with action, comes result. By first making decision, they can access if they like the result. If they do not like the result, they would grow to learn to make ‘better’ decisions in future. *wink*

Parenting is not always about being in control
but rather to let your child grow.
~ Angeline Foong

Have been going OUT of the house EVERY SINGLE DAY ever since school break began. From indoor playground to outdoor playground, from shopping centres to libraries, we still have so many more places yet to go to have fun.

To me, school holidays should be fun, Fun, FUN! *wink*

But because of some new ‘work’ commitment, I’ll be away for the next 6 days. Will be attending seminars as a contributor again. Very much like the previous round.

Keatkeat: “So Mummy, are we going to get the letters again?”

I think they really loved the secret letters, so here I am doing them half-way and popping over here just to record this moment down.

p.s. Mommy will be missing you two….

School Holidays has just began.
4 Full Weeks.
Have you started to feel the strain?
The tiredness?
The ‘busy-ness’?
And hardly find any ‘me-time’?

I sure am boy! *eyes rolled*

Tell me I’m not alone please?

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“Monday is English examination day and he has problem constructing a sentence. Has problem with grammer, vocabulary, tenses…etc etc. He is poor in Mathematics too! And he is still very dreamy!”

Those words were from Keatkeat’s Teacher yesterday. We were not informed of any examinations at all.

So in a way, I thank her for the complains, ‘cos if it had not been that, then I would NEVER have known about the examination. *Wink*

So how do you handle Teacher’s Complaints? Its not all that bad, find the positive side of the complain and your heart will not be heavy. *smile*

Later did we found out that Keatkeat has double performance standard. What he can do at home, he cannot in school. This is something that I do not know how to improve unless I sit in school with him for a day (which is NOT allowed), to find out what made the difference.

Hhhmmm…… this is one puzzle yet to be solved.

Being away from my kids can be an emotional roller coaster ride for them more than me. Am I a terrible mum? I do not think so. To me, when I am away, I make sure that every second spent is worthwhile and would benefit them directly or indirectly, eventually.

Thus, I will go all out to get things done as I was required to. It does not mean they are not on my mind. But because they are the reason why I am away, the easier it was for me to stay focus and commit to my tasks.

Away for 3 full days was exhausting, but rewarding. Luckily my boys are late-sleepers or else they would not haven seen me for a full 72 hours. I was a contributor during a 3-day seminar. Thus I had to be there before every thing started and almost after everything ended.

So in order to make sure that the boys KNOW that I am thinking of them, I ‘sent‘ them secret letters every day. It was also a tool to help Allan to have ‘smoother‘ parenting days.

The rule was : The Boys needed to get a number of ticks on the smiling face Each Day, before they can open the letter for that day.

To get a tick, all they need to do, is listen to Allan’s instructions and act on it immediately.

For example, if Allan said “Go Brush Your Teeth.” They had to go without whining or dilly dally. If Allan had to repeat more than twice, then a tick on the sad face would appear.

All the letters were pre-prepared way before I attended the seminar.

Day 1:

My sis woke up earlier than my hubby. She saw Binbin’s sad face when he did not see me.

Without knowing this ‘rule‘, she gave the letter to Binbin to cheer him up. So the boys got their first letter without ‘working‘ for it.*faint*

That night, Binbin cried as he told me that he forgot to bring home ‘something‘ which he bought for me. I could not figure out what it was through his ‘choking-from-his-tears’ and never bothered to ask what it was either.

Day 2:

As you can see from above, Binbin (Zen) ‘worked‘ just as hard as his elder brother, Keatkeat (Zac) to make sure that he could open the second letter.

That night, Keatkeat asked “Mommy, is it going to be all notes? How about giving us a toy car?” *faint*

Asking such a question to a ‘Don’t-buy-toys-Mommy’, is as good as not buying a lottery ticket and hope you could win the lottery. Fat Chance! *laugh*

Day 3:

Oh well, like I had expected, Keatkeat likes surprises, so instead of giving notes, I gave a CARD on the 3rd day. Oh well, at least its NOT a note. *laugh* (Remember? I prepared everything way before the seminar. I think I really know my son very well. *wink*)

The cutest thing was, ever since then, I receive ‘something‘ in an envelope from Binbin every day! *giggle* Which usually happens to be his toy car or an eraser or a small piece of artwork.  Nice! *smile*

What ‘special‘ thing do you do to your children when you are away from them? Do you bother to remind them that you are missing them? Has it become so routine that you have forgotten to tell them that you are loving them, even though you are not by their side? *wink*

Having 3 Generations staying under the same roof can be a blessing AS WELL AS a confusion to a child.

When the Mommy scolds the child, he runs to the Daddy.
When the Daddy scolds the child, he runs to Grandma.
When the Grandma scolds the child, he runs to Grandpa.
When the Grandpa scolds the child, he runs to Mommy.

In any and every case, he gets the consolation and the coaxing.

Yet,
When Mommy said “No soft drinks for the child” because the child is coughing, his Daddy lets him go with his craving.
When Daddy said “No soft drinks for the child” because the child is having a running nose, his Grandma gives him a sip.
When Grandma said “No soft drinks for the child” because she is tired of taking care of a constantly ill kid, his Grandpa stepped in.
When Grandpa said “No soft drinks for the child” because the child is too cranky all day long with his block nose and endless coughing, his Mommy decided NOT to torment him further and let him take a few mouth from the ice-cold can drink.

What is the child learning? – It is alright to continue to take his health lightly. Getting well is no longer an issue, since I still get what made his health so bad.

When parents said “Homework first before play!”; Grandparents say “Its been a hard day at school, can’t you (parents) let him play first?”

When parents said “No more toys for you till your birthday!”; Grandparents turned their heads and went straight into the toy shop and grab that ‘child comforter’ to please their whining grandchild.

Whichever way, the child is so confused!

Is this a perfect excuse for parents/care-giver to say that its unpreventable to bring up a hard-to-discipline-child?

I do not know. All I can say is, even without the Grandparents under the same roof; between the Father and Mother, there are parenting conflicts too.

It all voice down to communication, isn’t?

Sit down! Talk it out! Set the Rules Straight!

For husband and wife, it would be easier. But is it all impossible to do the same between parents and grandparents of the child? I dare say NO.

It is POSSIBLE. Just need more that what it takes for one or two sessions of discussion. But most adults get sick of such parenting ‘negotiation’ too early, too soon….

Afterall, there is Generation Gap. Different Mindsets and Different Parenting Ideas.

To me, I pity the children who grow up in such confusing family. Because there is never a clear line drawn. Rules are bendable and promises are often broken.

I have very strict rules to some things and TOTALLY NO RULES to many others and so does Allan. There are times our values clash but we NEVER do it infront of our boys.

When one lectures, the other keeps quiet, no matter how much he wants to jump out from his skin to say “I DISAGREE!” *laugh*

Always sort it out when our boys are asleep or when they are away in school. Say out all the “I did not like what you do just now, because…..”, “I disagree with you doing that, because….”

It is always important to come to a conclusion to EVERY DISCUSSION between the different care-givers. So that whenever the child did “THAT” again, the same praise or punishment would be given, regardless who was taking care of him at that moment.

Tip of the Day: NEVER DISAGREE INFRONT OF THE CHILD.

More Parenting Tips Click Here…

QingMing is a time when Chinese pays respect to their loved ones who had passed away.

hot : Without fail, during this time of the year, it is one of the hottest days. With the extra smoke from the million of incense sticks, burning of those paper money, paper bungalows, paper convertibles, paper LV bags, paper mobile phone, paper massage chair….etc, no doubt they add on to the heat.

Allan was joking away saying that they should burn paper banks! “So much money received and no banks to earn interest??” *giggle*

His joke went further to paper ATMs machine, paper ATM cards, paper safe-box and paper Condominiums! *laugh* He said, “They can start renting out the Condos and earn a living….So many houses and bungalows, the land space should be running out, they should consider ‘building’ high rise.” *laugh*

His joking mood went to extremity when he remarked, “They only get to eat ONCE A YEAR! Aaawww… so pitiful, we should start burning paper restaurants!!!!” *huge laugh*

Alright, what has all these got to do with children?

Well, my boys loved it because they were asking countless questions as they listened to their dad’s funny deductions. *giggle*

I realised Keatkeat’s questions are getting more profound which I really like! It trains my brain to come out with even better answers.

“Why must we bring food?”
“How would we know when the ‘ghost’ of my greatgrandparents have finish their meal?”
“How would we know if they are still hungry and that we brought too little food for them?”
……..on and on and on….

Hot : Being surrounded by so much smoke and heat, it is surprising that the HUNDREDS who were there, were holding their tempers really well. It was some kind of mutual understanding that at such places, one should not flare up.

So did I get pissed being ‘interrogated‘ under such intense weather? No. I love questions~! The only way to learn is to ask questions! Keep them coming boys! *Smile*

(It is a taboo to take photos at the such places because you’ll never know when your camera might catch the image of a spirit having his meal.

So I took a quick shot. But you can still see the ‘mess’ in the background)

Yesterday was extra special: They had their very first chance to try Chewing Gum. Gum was banned in Singapore way before they were born. So to them, this is truly something new! For the very first time, their Papa said “Chew chew chew and don’t swallow.”

*laugh*

This is hilarious to me, because Every meal time, their Papa would always say “Chew chew chew for so long and still don’t swallow???!!! SWALLOW NOW!”

*laugh*

Binbin always welcome new things but not Keatkeat. So Binbin tried and made a genuine attempt to chew till it was tasteless.

Keatkeat passed the gum back to the giver (my eldest SIL) without even considering, yet he pretended so well in that photo (as if he can’t wait to get it into his mouth) What an actor! *eyes rolled* Any movie director or modeling company photographer reading this post? *wink*

First Chewing Gum experience review? Binbin shook his head and said, “Don’t like it. Don’t give me EVER again ah!” *giggle* He never liked the taste of peppermint anyway.

HOT : This morning, Keatkeat woke up with FEVER!!! 38.4. Guess the many glups of cool plain water and cans of ice-cold water yesterday did not help. *sigh*

Crossing my Fingers and Toes as I say this : I just hope it is NOT Dengue Fever. It is Peak Session for Dengue Fever and he was out the whole day and…. had 1 mosquitoe bite. *Fingers and Toes still crossed*

We will be off to the Clinic after fetching Binbin… let’s hope I would bring back good news…

Updated on 13th April 3.56pm: Thank you everyone. Doctor doesn’t know what was wrong. Anyway, Keatkeat is alright now. Took one day MC yesterday and back to school today.