All About Your Child

Binbin will always have an early lunch before he goes to school at 12noon. So when he eats, Allan and I will chat. Then we will have our lunch together with Keatkeat after 1pm when he is released from school. That has been our routine for this year, the life of having one child in the morning session and the other in the afternoon session.

Today, Binbin requested something different…

Binbin: “Mummy, can I have my lunch in school today?”

Me: “Why?”

Binbin: “I want to try something new.”

Me: “What are you going to eat?”

Binbin: “Chicken Rice.”

Me: “What else?” (knowing that the portion is lesser than the ones served in the hawker centres)

Binbin: “Nothing. The Chicken Rice is MEDIUM size plate leh! Sure very full after eating that.”

Anyhow, we decided to let give him a little more than the cost of the plate of chicken rice, just in case he felt like eating a fruit or two after that.

……AFTER SCHOOL…..

Me: “So how do you feel having lunch in school today?”

Binbin: “Nervous, because I never do it before.”

Me: “So did you eat Chicken Rice with any other things?”

Binbin: “Hhhhmmm…. I forget!”

*faint*

Me: “So was it fun to eat lunch in school by yourself?”

Binbin: “Yup! But I am NEVER going to do it again because there were so many teachers looking at me wondering why am I doing at the canteen at that time. Too early for school. When they look at me eat ah, I very nervous, but I still can eat lah.”

*laugh*

Yup! Its good to let your children decide what they want to do. After experiencing it, let them decide if they would want to do it again.

Though I do fear that he may not have sufficient food to fill his tummy long enough till recess time, I still allowed him to go ahead with HIS plan; instead of being overprotective and rejected his request.

As our children grow older, they like to take control of their lives and love to make decisions for themselves. During such times, parents should loosen the grip on them and let them grow and mature with their own decisions and experiences.

That’s part and parcel of parenting. Yes, letting go is ALSO what being a parent should be. Spot those signals of “I’m a big kid now”, and when you do see that red light flashing, its letting loose (a little) time. If you insist on holding on, you are definitely getting yourself into a game of tug-of-war. In simpler terms: You start to see a rebellious kid appearing.

Actually, even till this day, when Allan is already a Father of two, I can see that my MIL still has not loosen that grip on him. *wink*

Binbin having Lunch in School for the First Time

Parents are often (overly)concerned about how others view them when they are  in the Public with their kids.

Yes, it is true that when a YOUNG child misbehaves, I do shift the blame to the parents. Afterall, it IS the upbringing that shapes a child’s well-being.

Which is also why I STRONGLY AGREE with Parents who still insist on taking care of their children on their own, even though they are going through financial difficulties, instead of putting them with granny or maid or child care centre.

I was once in that situation 5 years ago, but after taking care of my kids, on my own, full time after that, I know that the struggle to find money is all worthwhile; because I have LESSER disciplinary issues to tackle with.

When a child is brought up by two different care-takers, whose parenting styles are totally different, the child gets confused and thus are more disobedient because they do not have a FIXED rule to follow.

For example, granny says “Yes, you can play with your toys while you eat.” But Mummy says, “No, play After you eat.” Who should the child follow?

How can you teach a child to respect the elderly, when you want the child to disobey the granny; simply because granny’s style of upbringing a child is different from yours? Can you see what the child has to go through?

With such a confusing environment to grow up in, it is NOT surprising at all that the child starts to listen to the one who ‘gives in’ to his/her whims and fancies more than the other adult; and thus gives the latter a harder time when they are together.

Then again, there are parents who seek for perfection in their child, just like how they would want to be known as a perfect parent. But the fact is, there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect child or perfect parent. It is ONLY in the eyes of the beholder that you can find perfection.

What is perfect to you, may not be perfect to another.

To me, parenting is supposed to be a growing journey; mentally, emotionally and physically, for both the parent and the child.

When a parent seeks to ‘Mold‘ a perfect child, the parent lost the TRUE MEANING of what Parenting Joy is all about.

It is only natural that Parents feel proud when strangers come forward and say, “You have such good children. You have taught them well.”

But don’t be too OBSESSED in searching for such comments that you have forgotten that a child needs to develop into who he or she REALLY is! When parents are too obsessed with hearing those compliments, the child becomes a clay in the hands of the parent, taking shape to WHAT THE PARENT wants, and not what the child is capable of in life.

Imagine, your child is NOT talented in music, but because the parent thinks that music is good for the child, or maybe the parent had missed the chance to learn music during his/her childhood; and thus enrolled his/her own children into a music school to fulfill the parent’s wish.

SERIOUSLY?!!!?

Are you nurturing your child to your child’s potential?
Or are you trying to let your child fulfill your lost childhood dreams?
Or are you trying to make your child fit into the society because ‘every other parent’ is doing it; because of peer pressure?
I think these are some crucial questions parents should ask themselves….truthfully.

Parents Should Ask Themselves….