Are you the favoured One?
Child, Parenting July 15th, 2008My father-in-law was discharged today. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR CONCERNS, WELL-WISHES and PRAYERS! *muack*
He is back home resting well now, but will be back in the hospital 4-6weeks later to remove the tube which was inserted to enlarge the gall and remove the stone in it as well.
Throughout the hospitalization, Allan has been taking the 30mins drive from our house to my MIL’s house to bring her to the hospital every morning and evening. Because Allan is a property agent, he has control over his ‘work-timing’, so all these doesn’t really disrupt any of his plans.
However when it comes to being discharged, for ‘unknown’ reasons, both my FIL and my MIL insisted on having their favorite son, my 2nd BIL, to fetch them. My 2nd BIL could not take leave today, but because they were so persistent, my 2nd BIL needed to take an urgent 1hr leave just to please his parents.
It’s an open secret that my 2nd BIL IS my parents-in-law’s apple of the eye. He was the only one whom my MIL cried over when he decided to get married and moved out. She was crying her eyes out that previous night, saying how much she’ll miss him and all of that….but neither my 1st BIL nor Allan could even get close to stir up such emotions in her.
Humans are still humans, made from flesh and blood, a creature full of feelings. Unexplainable feelings.
Why does some people ‘click‘ the moment they see each other?
Why others just can’t see eye-to-eye even though they are family members?
There are just so much into people-people relationships, other than horoscope, zodiac, Ba Zi, up-bringing, experiences….there are also alot of mystery behind it all…That’s the beauty of how all of us are MADE different from the one sitting right next to us, ya?
Though (by right) parents should love all their children equally, but somehow, (by left) in real life that’s not true.
Like my own family, my sis is always the favoured one, maybe because I don’t feel close to my parents at all…. after-all I WASN’T part of their lives till I was 5 years old….
In YOUR family, do you love one kid more than the other(s)?
In YOUR own family, are you the favoured one?
Or are you in the perfect family, where your parents love you and your siblings equally?
July 15th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Glad your FIL had recovered and discharged…
Well, for my sister and I, its always the same old sentence to my mom “you unfair. Why you *blar blar blar* to her and not me? or the other way round. But deep down, we know our mom loves us just as much.
As for my own family now, the current favourite is of course my little baby boy : P
Everyone loves him to pieces but that the “baby love”..I try to love my 2 girls equally. Of course, sometime this one got more and sometimes that one got more…usually the good one will get the attention and bad one being ignored. This also encourage them to behave..
Blessed Mums last blog post..Link Love
July 15th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
aiyo! didn’t know my comment so long! *my gosh* so paisei
forgot to inform you that I just tag you on a link love chain…do pass the love on when you are free :)
July 15th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Glad your FIL is out of the hospital!!! I hope he continues to improve.
Family dynamics are a mystery. I think that most parents have so much love for their kids and that love grows in different ways and for different reasons depending on the child and the parent…
Tonis last blog post..I’d give my eyeteeth…
July 15th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Good news that your FIL is out.
I think all parents play favourite, althoug it’s likely subconsious. I don’t feel like I favour any one child, but there are distinct things that I admire in each of them. I wonder if that feels like favouritism from where they are sitting? Time will tell, I guess.
Janets last blog post..In the Morning Light
July 16th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Blessed Mum,
*laugh* I Love to Read Comments….so the lengthy the better… *laugh*
Thanks for tagging me! Yeah! Oh dear…I think I’ve got 4 tags on hand, and haven’t got the time to do them yet….but I will…I promise!
July 16th, 2008 at 5:07 am
In my family I think I’m the favorite of 4. Sssh, don’t tell them! I earned it though, in a way. It wasn’t natural. Growing up I was a real pain in their butts. Now though, I care for them. The feelings are simply returned.
I hate to admit this but I have to make a concerted effort to show affection toward my children equally. It just comes more natural between my son and I. Plus, he accepts it, asks for it. My daughter shuts me down continually but I’ve promised myself that I’ll keep hugging her and kissing her and loving her in spite of it all. Sometimes it’s just a little more work than I’d like. (Destruct this post after you read it, please. Just blow it up. My daughter can read and you never know…)
July 16th, 2008 at 5:48 am
Until recently my husband openly admitted that he loved our older daughter more but now that the younger one is bonding more with him he loves them both a lot. There is no child that I love more than the other.
Melissas last blog post..My Husband – The Model
July 16th, 2008 at 6:42 am
I was definitely not my mother’s favorite, but I was my father’s favorite.
Tammys last blog post..To Clean Or To Blog
July 16th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Oh Erin,
does that mean your little girl hop over to my blog too…? *wink*
tell me you are SERIOUS about destructing this comment….and I will do it…’cos deleting heart-felt words is dis-respectful, you know? But I’ll do it if you REALLY give me the Green Light.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:29 am
For some people, preference or favouritism can be influenced by the perceived ‘availability’ of the other party. The one that is less available sometimes end up being more ‘valued’ simply because of the element of scarcity. You know, the notion of ‘the rarer, the better’. The one who is always around, who is always there when you expect him to, tends to face the risk of getting taken for granted.
This is highly unfortunate, and a somewhat distorted outlook to things…but like you said, human beings are complex creatures.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:34 am
first of all, so glad to hear that your FIL is discharged…
as for the sibling thingy…well, it is not advisable to hv a fav in the family, afterall all are equally the same, ehhh? if we hv a fav, the other one will feel left out…
July 16th, 2008 at 11:58 am
As for my family, I am the youngest, so naturally, the favoured one among 3 siblings…don’t jealous yah.. ;P However,I am closer to my dad and my brothers are closer to my mum, so it is fair.
Yees last blog post..Flash back of Rou’s story from birth (Month 5)
July 16th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I am not in perfect family. my father left us when i was 5 years old and married with other rich woman. thanks for ur birthday’s wishes… have a nice day
Juliana RWs last blog post..Not my baby
July 17th, 2008 at 12:16 am
glad that ur FIL has been discharged :)
favourtism?? bah … dun feel like talking abt it in my own family. haha :P
July 17th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Glad to know that your FIL is back home.
This is an interesting topic. It is known in my family that I am the favoured one and I think my sis ‘hated’ me for that. As for my kids, I don’t think I show favourtism.
LZmommys last blog post..Conversation -LZ
July 17th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I’m so glad he’s out! That is such a good sign!! I haven’t read the rest of the post yet, I was just excited to see the first sentence and had to comment. :-)
Going back to read as soon as I get the kiddies off to school.
imbeingheldhostages last blog post..WW
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
my grandparents are like that too. My dad spend alot of $ & time with them when they r sick, but when the want they prefer to be with isn’t him….
So far I have not seen such thing happening in my family, I hope I wont be like that when I am old…
Jasmines last blog post..Uncle Gary took all my toys