Its Challenging (part 2)
Child, Handling Misbehaviour, Parenting, Toddler August 10th, 2008(This is a continuation from the previous post. I strongly suggest that you read the previous one before going on to this…or else, you might be going “Huh?”, “How come?” , “What was that?”, “Why” as you read along) So please go ahead and read the previous post first….
The old folks say, “Its because he (Binbin) is a ‘2-eyed’ (on the top of his head) kid. ‘2-eyed’ kids are ALWAYS a difficult child.”
The superstitious say, “He could have been disturbed by the ‘unclean‘, hence he doesn’t rest well for so many days, afterall we ARE 10 days into the one month long Hungry Ghost Festival. Go wash him with ‘hong hua’ leaves and he will be fine.”
The logicalist say, “He may have over-played during the day or just before he sleeps, that’s why he can’t rest well.” (Hey it was many days ok! Not just one day, so I disagree with this)
Whatever it is. This HAD TO STOP. After what happened on the previous night. This morning at 1am, he started yelling again while I was blog hopping to finish off my 300+ posts-yet-to-be-read…
Remember my hint? I wasn’t asleep, so I wasn’t pissed. I was ready to play the waiting game. My mind was all set and geared up to the challenge.
I stepped away from my PC and walked towards the bedroom, he was jumping up and down on my bed with his knees bent. I asked him, “Are you ok? What happened?”
“Ahhhhhh…….MMaaaaaMMeeeee, I Want You!” he yelled in response.
“OK, I’m here. Come, Mommy hug you.” As I moved towards him, he backed off and hit his back against the wall and started banging himself against it.
It became my turn to back-off, till it was 1 meter away from him, that’s when he stopped the banging but still in the tantrum condition.
I kept quiet. I waited. I waited for him to speak first. I waited for him to tell me what he was truly unhappy about. He knows me well. He knows I am waiting for the answer.
After 2-3mins, he stopped moving. He stopped yelling. He stared blankly on my crumpled bedsheet. After another 2-3mins, he fell asleep.
I walked away, back to my PC. Managed to type but another 5 alphabets and it started again! He was banging and screaming.
“Yes Binbin? What do you want? Milk?” I begged for an answer, but completely at peace mentally, ‘cos I wasn’t sleepy.
“Yaaaeeeeeesssssss!” answered unwillingly and in an absolute angry tone, as if he felt he have lost in the Mastermind game whereby I read his thoughts so well.
Allan prepared his milk, but half the usual quantity, fearing that he may wet the bed at night if he fell asleep again while sucking his bottle.
Upon seeing his milk bottle, he yelled and started another tantrum which have stopped some seconds ago, “Don’t want! I don’t want! Waaaaaahhhhhh!”
I put it aside, without a word and again, he sat there motionless for minutes and dozed off in a sitting position with his legs bent backwards. So I went to my PC again, this time I managed to get another sentence on the comment box and there goes my 3 year old again at the top of his voice, whining away in attempt to wake all my neighbours.
I took the milk and put it in front of his face without saying a word. He backed off again. This time he stuffed his little bum into the gap between my bed and the wall. At that corner, he continued to cry, to whine, but much longer this time, as if to fight his tireness in order not to doze off again, but he failed. He slept with his bum stuck in that tiny gap between the bed and the wall.
Again I walked away, but this time, before I was even seated, he screamed, “I WANT MORE MILK MILK!”
OH! So that’s what he wanted. So I went to prepare a NEW bottle of milk, ‘cos the previous one prepared by the dad was way too cold for consumption already.
I put it in front of his face. He took it. Yeah! I thought. But I celebrated too early, the next moment, he threw it on the mattress and wet his own bed when the milk spilled out. I glared at him. Still keeping my mouth closed. I’m not gonna shout, not gonna yell and definitely not gonna do what I did yesterday.
Allan knew it was NOT a normal tantrum, he got up and took charged, he wanted me to stop the waiting game, he wanted to do the hard way, but gently. He carried the struggling kid to the kitchen. As Binbin kicked and beat his dad, the man was determined to get the unfamiliar kid out of the bedroom in fear of waking up the elder one who was happily talking in his sleep.
Binbin grew tired of struggling, ‘cos he knows in term of strength, he was bound to lose to his dad. He rested his tired body completely on the chest of his dad. Allan started to ask questions, “Binbin, we want to help you feel better. But if you don’t tell us, we can’t help you.”
“I DON’T WANT YOU!!! GO AWAY!! i WANT MOMMY!!!” screamed my boy.
But Allan know his little boy too well, he knew that it was a trick, he just want to fly out of his clutches. Allan refused to let go even though Binbin was kicking and beating even harder than before on the big-walking-punching-bag.
Allan suggested that I should switched on the Playhouse Disney channel for him, he thinks that that may calm him down. I obeyed. He carried the child to the living room from the kitchen and rested him on the sofa.
He quietened down and demanded angrily, “I WANT MY BABY BOLSTER AND MY CUTE LITTLE BABY!”
I did as commanded by my little sergeant. He lied down on the sofa, hugging his bolster and his little bear, sucking his milk with his eyes glued on the TV. I NEVER ALLOW THAT!!! Allan knew I was unhappy but he gave me the eye-signal, “just for this time, ok? just this one time…”
Allan was extremely exhausted, it was 3am in the morning, he went to bed and snored in seconds. I went back to my PC and typed yesterday’s post. When I was through, I heard the sound of the TV being switched off. Little foot steps were approaching me and when I turned my head, the little rascal was smiling at me, “Mommy, can you switch off the PC, I need to sleep already.”
That was the sweetest sentence ever for the entire day! He slept in less than 5mins, but I was wide awake still. I continued my blog hopping and at 4.30am, it was Keatkeat’s turn, he was up sneezing, mucus were all over his mattress cover and pillow case, my poor Allan was woken again!
We cleared up the mess but Keatkeat wouldn’t stop sneezing. I gave him the runny nose medicine and stayed beside him till he was back in dreamland again. By then at 5.30am, I was exhausted, that’s when I switched off my PC and went off to bed…
Its 9.45pm now, almost time for bed for the kids. My fingers and toes are crossed real tight. Will today be the 3rd day in a row, to have another crazy night with my 3 year old? *sigh* Will you keep your fingers and toes crossed for me too?
August 10th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
hmm…I am concerned, is it just started recently or all along he has been behaving this way?
August 10th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Same sentiments as Ling. This seems quite disturbing… has it happened before? I hope he’s alright…
Ings last blog post..Pebbles Art
August 10th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Just saw your blog’s Motivation for Moms for today. Quite timely. It says, “Pray over your children while they are sleeping. With a heart like Hannah, give them over to God.” Pray that your boy will have a peaceful night’s sleep…
Ings last blog post..Pebbles Art
August 11th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Ling,
Binbin has always been a very ‘challenging’ kid to handle. It’s recently that his behaviour has been quite extreme…as for these past 2 nights, its the very first time he behaves like that.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:20 am
Ing,
Thanks girl, like I’ve told Ling, he isn’t exactly like that, but he is definitely a very ‘unusual’ kid to handle all along, so I wasn’t surprise that he behaves that way, but I just had to ‘sharpen my skills’ to tackle this new challenge he post to me.
Yes, I prayed hard…and its 1.20am in the morning now, so far so good….
August 11th, 2008 at 1:53 am
Hope BinBin is sleeping well at this time…
August 11th, 2008 at 3:23 am
It’s never easy. EVER. Bigger kid – bigger tantrum. My “high needs baby/toddler/child” is not a ‘high needs man.” But he is who he has been created to be.
anns last blog post..School -NOT READY YET!
August 11th, 2008 at 6:25 am
oooh. You are much more patient than me. I would evaluate him to make sure he was OK and then that’s it. I think he’s yanking your chain. Maybe not, but it sounds familiar to me. When my daughter acted similarily we forewarned her that she would lose things if she acted out at bedtime. So, bedtime came and then the tantrums. First her fav blanket went and then her stuffie, one by one. We let her know that when she calmed herself she’d earn her special things back. Worked for us. Maybe for you? Either way, hope he sleeps!
August 11th, 2008 at 9:39 am
I think both you and allan had handled the situation well. Hope your children will sleep well tonight, and tomorrow, and the night after, and after….
Angies last blog post..?????????????
August 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
wow…it is very challenging situation…:((
Juliana RWs last blog post..Celebrate Jason’s birthday
August 11th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
wow, got such things hah
Hazels last blog post..Olympic Opening Ceremony
August 11th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I do have the same situation like you. My big baby wasn’t sleeping well these few night, she will wake up, crying in the middle of the night wanted to sleep on the ‘ yao yao’ (sarong)that not all, she was not very comfortable even we used the automatic yao yao & wanted me to stand, look at her & yao. So the first night was terrible, i keep doing that for nearly 2 hours (lucky i was having my 3 mth maternity leave.
The third night we decided to on the air-con as you know we seldom on air-con due to my husband who feel it will cause a big jump on electricity bill. Guess wat, she managed to sleep through the entire night. Oh yes we also changed the feng shui of the ‘eight horses’ which was placed above of our bed Initially,it was at the living room & me itchy hand moved it to my bedroom.
I do not know whether is the shifting of the ‘horses’ or the air con but anyway she sleep well after that.
August 11th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
wekk, sometimes those tantrums can really test our patience ehhh…i know too well…
nowadays too, my bb will scream when me or hubby are out of sight…then we come coaxing her, she will keep quiet then we walked away, she’s screaming again…*sigh*
August 11th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
i hope he sleeps well tonite so you and hubby can hv a better rest & enough sleep…
August 11th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Arghhh!Tantrums…I know what that means so well!Between the age of 3 and the age of 6 it gets worst!Eric hasn’t been sleeping very well either….Just hope it gets better tonight for the both of us!
PS–oh!If I was in Singapore I’m sure we’d get along very well!Like me, you treasure friendship.
*muack*
Sandras last blog post..Weekend Off
August 11th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
I’m not superstitious but my boy is just as difficult to handle as Binbin as compared to his 2 sisters (he got “2-eye” too).
You are really a very super MOM!! I doubt I have this kind of patience..must really learn from you..
Hope everything is fine by today..Pray about it.
blessed mums last blog post..I’m Back!
August 11th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
OH wow.. angie.. I hope BinBin is okay. My son has two eyes on his head too. Always a difficult baby they say.. but mine acts out only when the sun is up. He’s scared to misbehave at night..
Anyways, I hope tonight goes better and that you and Allan get the rest that you deserve. Poor KeatKeat too. Is he still sneezing??
p/s: My husband has a ritual for night tantrums. He washes their hands, faces and feet. But for the feet, wash and rub his ankles and soles of the feet, 3 times starting from the right and continue with the left (also 3 times). I dunno whether THAT’S what makes it help or what, but my husband swears by it. You can always give it a try.. :)
August 12th, 2008 at 12:22 am
I hope it improves. I wish I had magic advice but unfortunately I don’t! Good luck – will be anxious for your post that this stage has passed!
Tonis last blog post..May I help you with your golf bags?
August 12th, 2008 at 4:43 am
I feel for you. They can sleep well for a long time and then go through a phase like this and you have no idea what caused it or what will make it stop. Hang in there and I hope you start getting better sleep!
August 12th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Reading your post makes me realize that my little boy, Amos isn’t sleeping well all this while too. He wakes up many times in the middle of the night. Always crying searching for his toys, his milk or simply saying he wanna to “go out”. I thought perhaps he slept too long during the afternoon that’s why isn’t sleeping well at night. So I don’t allow him to sleep in the afternoon. However, he still wakes up many times even I deprive him of the afternoon nap… *sigh*
Janices last blog post..At the beach …
August 14th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Hi Angeline,
I found your blog from KiNiGu…. (boy, I got to know many s’pore mommy just thru’ Angie’s blog, lol) By just reading what you wrote about BinBin, forgive me if I’m wrong, I think he wanted badly for his moomy to get away from the PC and to lay with him to sleep, that’s why every time he wakes up seeing you not by his side, he screamed for you. But when you go to him, he just didn’t know how to open his mouth to ask you to sleep with him because he knew very well that you still want to use the PC.
Take the que from what he finaly said to you at the wee hours of the night…
Why not take a break from blogging and reading/comemting on blogs? I was so surprise to read that you have 300+ blogs to read? My DH just made a remark to me that where will I find enough time to read my ever-increasing-blogs, lol. Also, are you sure you really blog hopping until 4am? Maybe it’s only on a saturday night? I think we better be careful not to let “blogging” become an idol in our life(me a christian, hehe)
A 3yo is still very very young and need reassurance. Anyway, spend more nights with him because he will be shoving you away when he grows up.
I haven’t read your next post yet… wil do so when I have time! hehe…
Sorry if I have said anything that might offend you…
Lydias last blog post..Yesterday and Today
August 15th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Hi Lydia,
I love comments, be it long or short, compliments or offensive, doesn’t really matter, ‘cos if someone is willing to spare his/her time to comment from the heart, it’s always welcome over here.
Thank you for visiting my blog. But as a first timer, it is understandable that you have BIG misconception of me. Many of the things you said were out of context, that is you didn’t really get the FULL story (I got a hunch that you didn’t read part one)
That’s why you are the ONLY one who commented differently from others.
Let me do a small introduction of my ATTITUDE towards Kids, be it mine or not. I am a kid magnet, I’m drawn to kids as kids are drawn to me. If you have been following me from as far as (at least) this year *GASP!* Then you would know I would NEVER choose blog rather than my child. I went over to my PC because he was asleep. That IS THE ONLY time I go to my PC on any other day too.
From the things I’ve been doing for years, they are surrounded with kids. Yes I work, play, eat and sleep with kids of all ages, way before I even have my own children. So I know what it is like when they misbehave and I have my own unusual be effective way of getting them to realise their mistakes.
As for the part where you doubted if I REALLY blogged till 4am, I hope you would take back that mis-trust after you have read my post “Answering, Clarifying and Updating” (which I know you have read)
August 19th, 2008 at 6:55 am
There is more reason to comment than ever before! Great post! I searched for a while to find the right answer to my questions!
August 21st, 2008 at 2:00 am
was reading about this and was a bit concern. From my experience, over exhaustion and sugar over load will cause my boy to be over active and cannot rest well even when his body is very tired. I wonder whether is the glucose drink that is causing the sleepless night for your boys?
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Thanks for the informative post.. and thanks for adding our comment to the blog. I am subscribing to your feed so I don’t miss the next post!