Yesterday was a very special day for me. For the very first time, my 3rd niece and I had a heart-to-heart talk. Being in Primary One this year has given her many different experiences.

With reference to what I heard from the care-taker, who is my MIL, all is well. Be it studies or school life as a whole, M.Y. does not seem to have any problem. On the contrary, she seemed to be excelling in her studies and accepting what Primary school life offers.

M.Y., to me, is a very strong willed little girl and she is unlike the other 5 children in the family, she prefers to be alone and a MUCH quieter child. *smile* So while the others were running after the ball at the playground, I was there with her at the bench.

Me: “Are you happy?”

M.Y.: “No.”

Me: “Why?”

M.Y. replied in Mandarin: “I don’t like my classmates. They always bully me. Teacher told us to write fast, but my classmates always push my hand and I had to keep erasing. I don’t like Chinese, Chinese is my worst subject. My Maths and English is better. I any-how-do my Maths and they are correct, when I put in effort to do it, they are wrong.”

Me: *laugh* “Really?! Then you are a very lucky girl! In future, you can do your Maths without the need to revise.” *laugh*

M.Y.: “I don’t like any of my friends and I do not talk to them.”

Me: “There are so many classmates in your class, I believe there is bound to be one whom you like more, right?”

M.Y.: “No. Because if I talk to them, teacher will scold me. Teacher always say we have to be quiet. I don’t want to be scolded.”

Me: “Then talk to your friends when teacher is not around.”

M.Y.: “Don’t want. Don’t like.”

Me: “You have told me so much. Did you tell them to your parents?”

M.Y.: “No. Don’t want.”

Her openness is very dear to me, because of her parents’ lack of involvement in her life in general, I do worry about her emotional and mental development.

Usually, the ones who come to me with their little youngster secrets, sorrows and woes are my two elder nieces. So today, to have such an open-hearted talk to my more introvert 3rd niece makes me feel better.

Now that she is comfortable talking to me, I am happy. At least, someone in the family (even though not direct family), knows what is going on in her heart.

Whenever parents come to me and tell me that they are running out of ideas on how to handle their children, I would often ask, “How Well Do You Know Your Child?” Many claimed they know. But when I have a chance to talk to their children, sad to say, I realised their parents do not……

I am not the kind of person who will go forward, without being asked, to ‘advise’ others how they should parent their children. Every parenting style is different from one family to another. What right do I have to judge which is right or wrong, more effective or not.

To me, the focus is the kids, the 6 children in this big family. I just want them to know that I am there for them if they ever need emotional support or just a listening ear…