Should You Lecture Your Child in Public?
Parenting August 13th, 2011Before I move on, I must define the word ‘lecture’. To me, lecturing your child is a long conversation with your child, whereby you talk about the wrong doing, the right value system, the appropriate action and reaction you want your child to have when a certain situation occurs.
It is unlike scolding. Scolding is short, straight to the point and really loud (most of the time). Well, it’s the case for me. *giggle*
Here I am, sitting by the pool, waiting for my boys to end their swimming lesson and there she is, a mother of a 11-12 year old boy, lecturing him over an incident which her son claimed he is unaware of.
“I really don’t know.” the son stayed firmed to his stand.
“Don’t lie to me. You were there, how is it possible that you do not know?” the mother rebuked.
Even though the son kept shouting, “I am not lying!” the mother refused to believe.
After 10mins of that back and forth argument, the son gave in and in all his unwillingness, decided to shut up, since his mother was so adamant about her verdict.
Then the mother moved on to label her son ‘a liar’ and started to talk about how bad lying is and what damaging effects it will have on his life in future.
She is well aware that everyone, which includes parents, helpers, kids were ‘watching’ the Free Show. Somehow her facial expression tells me that she is more focused on the attention that is on her, than ‘really‘ wanting to lecture her son. The more she goes in depth into the topic, the louder she became. I don’t know, maybe it makes her feel good in some way.
Regardless if the child lied or not, in this case, I seriously do not think the lecturing should be done in public, especially when the child is already in his teens or near.
Children have pride and we as parents should respect that.
It is NOT a life and death issue, I think it is perfectly alright to wait till you get home to trash out the topic.
If you must, I think it is more appropriate to bring the child to a quiet corner and not in the midst of the watchful eyes of the public.
I am not saying that the mother is wrong, but what she did is not something I would do. To me, there is no right or wrong parenting. Its just different values and priorities in life that resulted in different parenting styles.
Would you lecture your child in public for all to see?
August 13th, 2011 at 5:10 pm
I think the mom was basking over the power she had over the son, and the attention she was getting. Agree with you that parents should respect their kids, if a lecture is needed, efforts should be made to bring the child to a quiet corner or mention that the problem will be addressed at home. Somehow, in this case, the mom should also give her child the benefit of the doubt. Her kid is a;ready 11/12, if she continues managing him this way, he will surely become quite a challenging teen in a couple of years.
August 13th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
I personally will not lecture.. scold yes.. I seriously don’t have the time to stand around and lecture as I too have to attend to the other kids. If I really do need to lecture him I rather do it at home. I think that mother is really “attention seeking”.
August 20th, 2011 at 5:45 am
Maybe the son of that mother has been persistent liar? you may not know. The mother may be very fed up with her son persisting lying, and eventually just lost her cool.
August 20th, 2011 at 5:45 am
if my son has been lying to me persistently, and I got fed up, i may reprimand him in public too.