How do you know your child is taking you for granted?
For me, its simple.
As most of you may have known, I teach my children to become independent at an age much earlier than what most parents would do (I think).
- They bathe on their own when they are 3 years old.
- They are allowed to go down and around the neighborhood when they are 4-5.
- They do simple washing of their own dishes when they are 4.
- They started peeling potato and carrot skins with a blade, when they are 4. They cut hotdogs too. Yes, I let them handle knives at that young age.
- Keatkeat washes and ‘whitens’ his school shoes since the beginning of his Primary School life last year.
- Now, finding food around the house and making their own breakfast is no longer an issue, when their parents are still snoring in bed.
So if whatever that they can do on their own and I choose NOT to do it for them, they should NOT be upset. The sign of unhappiness is a sign of taking me for granted.
As simple as that!
I am so filled with emotions because over and over again, I have seen and heard so many adults complained that their in-laws or their parents have stopped doing things for them.
DIL complains that their MIL refused to wash their clothes or hang their clothes or fold their clothes for them. My first reply is, “Is it their duty to do it?”
NO! Obviously not!
So what rights do you have to be upset? You are a fully-able adult, why can’t you do it yourself?!
You may think that as a family, everyone in the family should help each other. My question is, “To what extend?”
You are an adult now, you should be independent and not rely on others to do things for you, just because it is more convenient or simply because you are lazy to do it.
If your MIL is willing to help you do it, BE GRATEFUL! If she does not, there is nothing wrong with that and you should NOT be upset about her refusal to help.
To me, its the same for my own children. Once they are capable of doing something on their own, I would want them to do it themselves! If they choose to find excuses to not do it and want me to do it for them instead, it would depend on my mood then. If I am willing to do it, BE GRATEFUL! If I choose not to help those lazy bones, they have no rights to complain!
Maybe its just me. I do not like to be taken for granted and dislike even more when people are complacent and not counting their blessings. Pampering my kids are often not in my agenda. I do not follow their whims and fancies. I do what is necessary and what is needed.
Only on rare occasions, when I think my actions will not mold a negative character in my child, will I do the unnecessary and the wants.
When your child is capable of doing something on his or her own, does he or she ask you to do it instead?
When you choose not to do it for him or her, what is his or her reaction?
Be careful, it may be the start of a lifetime of taking you for granted…