I remembered showing Kitkit the video below when he was still in his preschool years. Though it may had been a few years ago, what he said after watching the video left me thinking and realising that it is very important to KNOW how my child interprets a message, an event, a statement, a video, etc; because What I See may NOT be What My Child Sees.

Before I share what he told me after watching the video, while he was still in his Kindergarten years, let’s watch the video first.

Few years have passed, and Kitkit will be turning 10 in 4 months time. I show him the video again.
The Same Video.
To the Same Person.
But review was different…..
…..very different…..

We talked about how people change over time.
I witness how dramatic my child’s reaction to the same thing could change over some short years.

When he was still learning how to spell simple words like ‘family‘, I showed him this video. I remembered he just came home from school and was still in his Kindergarten uniform….back then, he did not read a single word that came up on the screen, because he was still so young and his vocabulary was still limited to simple words like ‘Me‘, ‘I am’, ‘Father‘, ‘Mother‘, etc.
Me: “Kit, how do you feel after watching this video?”
Kitkit: “We SHOULD NOT finish the food on our plate, so that the poor children can eat.”

I was stunned.
Totally shocked.
Surprised because that was the exact OPPOSITE reason as to why I chose to show him this video.
I wanted the video to tell him NOT to waste food.
Instead, his COMPASSION ruled.
He pitied the unfortunate little ones.

It would be SO WRONG of me to say something like “Noooooo….I showed you this video is to tell you NOT to waste food.”, won’t it? I would appear to be NOT compassionate, won’t I? Would I then be teaching my child NOT TO SHOW COMPASSION?!?

I Kept Quiet.

Almost 5 years later, I showed him the same video.
His facial expression no longer show compassion when he saw how the hungry children gobbled down the wastage.
He was disgusted.
He frowned.
His closed lips turned jagged.

I waited for the video to finish.
He also watched it till the end.
I asked once again: “Kit, how do you feel after watching this video? Do you remember you had watched this video before?”
Kitkit: “No. Don’t remember. Its so DISGUSTING!!! They were eating other people’s saliva! The dumpster was so dirty. Eeee… [He read and understood the words which came on the screen] I know this video is to tell us not to waste food, but its just too disgusting.”

So different eh?

Me: “So you understand that the video was trying to tell you NOT to waste food?”
Kitkit: “Yes I understand. But its just too disgusting.”
Me:  “So you think they should not eat other people’s saliva? But they are poor, how else can they get food?”
Kitkit: “Wait for people to give them food lah! PROPER Food please!”
Me: “There are too few people who do that. By the time these people feed these poor children, they would have died of hunger.”
Kitkit: “But we must know where they are first mah. If we don’t even know where they are, how to give them food?”
Me: “So, if you know where they are, would you give them food?”
Kitkit: “Yes lah.”
Me: “Since they are so poor that they could not even get proper food for themselves, do you think the place that they stay in will be clean and nice or dirty and smelly?”
Kitkit: “Dirty and smelly.”
Me: “Then will you still go?”
Kitkit: “Errmmm….when that day come then say.”

I chose to leave it as that.

A simple video that is trying to educate the audience NOT to waste food.
A simple video that is trying to remind each one of us to think of the millions who died of hunger before we decide to leave our table with unfinished food.
But when this simple video is watched by little ones, the Message Behind the Video, which the film maker intended to bring forward to the audience, may be distorted.
So it is very important to LISTEN to what your child says after watching or hearing something.
This way also helps parents to understand their children better.

However, I need to stress that every one has the right to their opinion.
Never say, “You are Wrong To Think that way.”
Just because you are an adult and they are just kids, when their opinion is different from yours, it does not make you MORE RIGHT than them,

Everyone has different brains and so will their understanding and interpretation of things or events.
Please respect your child’s opinion.

It is important to share how YOU think.
So that he or she can see different sides of the coin.
Yet, it is also vital to show Respect, even though your child’s brain does NOT work the same way as yours.

Cultivate a child, NOT Force the child to Think the same way as you….unless you are aiming to clone another you.

 

 

 

What You See may NOT be What Your Child Sees