All About Your Child

I love to read comments and yesterday’s comments made me laugh (especially Clement’s) as much as I had made you guys laugh at my misery….hummm…sounds a little ironic…

Wanna thank some of you for your concerns….I managed to get the long-overdue-shit out this morning….

Anyhow, as promise, I’m going to tell you more shitty stuff today. Are you gonna puke already?

More than 15 years ago, I was working in a Child Care Centre supervised by my Church Friend. Yes, I was rather under-aged then, but she recognised that I have a way with handling kids and with the many years of giving tuition to kids, I became the English teacher for the Kindergarten 1 class, for a period of time when the form-teacher for that class was pre-occupied somewhere else.

I’ll not be revealing the Child Care Centre’s name, ‘cos it was not right to give such a responsibility to an untrained teacher like me, luckily none of the parents knew. Yes it was wrong but my Church Friend couldn’t find a replacement in such a short time.

Being so young, it was an honour. Everything felt so right. Every kid in the entire centre loves me, ‘cos I was the story-telling teacher in the morning assembly and the evening assembly; and my story telling is always full of jokes and actions…..almost 50 kids going crazy and having fun in that room, at the beginning and the end of the day…..

……I remember it was raining that day……

I was half-way through my evening assembly story, with the kids were all up on their feet making funny actions, suddenly every kid ran out of the 4meter by 2meter long carpet. Leaving the most timid and soft spoken boy I’ve ever met (till this day), standing at the center of the carpet. His name is Edwin. He was from my class – Kindergarten one.

I was shocked at first at the unison action by all the kids. Then I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THE REASON for their action.

Gooey-slimy-greenish-extremely-stinky fluid came out of Edwin’s pants. No, not his pants, I mean his anus hidden in his pants!

I have never ever seen such gross sight in my life then (‘cos many years later, my Keatkeat showed me the exact same slime when he was 2 years old, in PUBLIC – oh dear that’s another shit tale I can post, provided you guys are not vomitting already after 2 shit posts), it was horrifying.

The carpet was super thirsty or rather hungry. It was sucking in the ‘food‘ generously provided by Edwin. The flow doesn’t seem like it was gonna stop at all!

I stood there speechless, with my jaw still hanging as every kid from age 1+ to 6 were holding their noses and pointing at the Star of the Show, still motionless standing on the middle of the carpet, making sounds like “Eeeeeeee…..Yucks…..so dirty….SO Smelly”

Poor Edwin started to cry, that woke me up. How could a boy with such quiet character handle such embarrassing moment. I was afraid he would run away. That would be worst. The shit would be all over the place leaving tracks behind, like the green creature in Ghost Busters. (picture courtesy of Google Images)

The auntie who cooks and cleans for the centre, became the director of the act. She instructed me to carry Edwin to the toilet while the other teachers carry the heavy (now that its so gooey) carpet out of the centre.

The centre is located at the basement, so there wasn’t any windows for us to open to air the place. It’s completely air-conditioned.

Could you imagine the smell?! It was sooooo strong! It smelt like the poo of someone who ate rotten meat MIXED WITH the poo of someone who ate smelly cheese! EeeeW! It was fainting-ly-smelly!

But it was raining remember? So the carpet was brought up the stairs and left in the rain. They were so afraid that the rain would wash the shit down the stairs back into the centre, so all the 5 teachers decided to walk further away from the entrance. Without umbrellas, they were like wet ducks walking on heels!

Though I was under shelter, I was bathing Edwin, so I was not that dry either. The greenish-slimy-shit was dropping off his buttocks and legs and splashing onto my feet! *Urrrghhhh*

I tried to chat with Edwin, asking all the inappropriate questions for such a moment, like,

“Edwin, what’s your favourite colour.” (how I wished he didn’t say GREEN, but he did!)

“What would you like to draw when you have a blank piece of paper.”

“Who do you like best at home…..”

you know, I was desperate to ease the tension off the boy, I needed to get him distracted one way or another. If he could bathe himself, I’ll probably do a clown dance in front of him. It’s heart-breaking to see children cry, especially a super obedient and completely harmless boy like Edwin.

Then I realised he doesn’t have any shirt to wear, ‘cos the shirt he brought was already soaked with prespiration this afternoon before he went for the noon bath. But I couldn’t leave him shivering in the air-conditioned place till his mommy come right?

So I dugged out his full-of-saltiness-smelly shirt from his bag and get him dressed.

As we head back to the assembly room, the smell was unbearable. Even Edwin pinched his nose as we stepped in. Auntie was still cleaning the shit which WENT THROUGH the carpet. All the other children were sent back to their own classes to wait for their parents to come and fetch them home.

But Edwin refused. I understand why, after how his friends reacted to his uncontrollable motion, so I sat down with him at the stairway near the entrance. Luckily the tramautised boy’s Mommy came early today. I explained to her why her son smells like a pail of sweat and the centre smelled like SHIT.

Unemotionally, she told me that he had diarrhea last night too…

(Oh dear parents. If your kid is sick, especially when he or she had diarrhea the previous day, please don’t bring him or her to school or child care centre, the teachers can be spared from ALOT OF UNNECCESSARY CHAOS! Thank you very much!)

Being located at the basement was really a big problem. The smell stayed on for A WEEK!!! And the carpet? After a unanimous vote, the carpet was thrown away! The stain was almost 1 meter in diameter. Unbelievable? BELIEVE IT!

Did you throw out your dinner last night after 2 gross-y posts?

So who wants to hear my boy’s unimaginable greenish-slimy-shit mishap which happened in Public? *laugh*

(I’ll tell if there were more than 50% of you who are still so keen on such gross stuff) LOL I’ve got a feeling I’m losing a handful of you after 2 days of Shit! LOL