“You Expect Me To Lie?”


This year has been and will be a very challenging year for Kitkit if he continues to display such undesirable level of concentration in school.

Am I talking about his CA1 results?
Definitely NO!!!
That is never the thing on my priority list.

My focus is his attitude and behavioural issues.

Since the beginning of the year till now, its not even a full 3 months yet and his list of school-related problems is long enough to fill up every line in the first page of his school exercise book.

It has been countless times, or rather, I did not bother to count, the teacher wrote “INCOMPLETE WORK!” with big bold red ink on his school worksheets.

Any particular subject? You may ask.
Every subject had its chance to shine phrases like “NOT DONE!”, “INCOMPLETE!”, “MISSED OUT!” on respective assignments.

Together with those big bold red phrases, there is a blue ink stamp that reads ‘Parent’s Signature’.

His every reason or excuse is more or less the same each time,  “I did not hear teacher say that this page need to do.” or “The class was too noisy. I could not hear what the teacher say.” or the most ridiculous explanation in an argumentative tone was, “She REALLY did NOT say need to do this page!”

But when I asked: “Since you say she REALLY did NOT say need to do this page, then did your classmates do?”

In a small soft voice, he mumbled, “Yes.”

“So if all your friends in class did this page and ONLY YOU did not, do you still believe that your teacher REALLY did NOT say? Or was it YOU who were NOT PAYING ATTENTION?” I questioned with twisted lips.

“I did not hear properly.” he admitted.

I have become immune to such incidents of incomplete job done. Whenever he shows me a page covered with BIG RED QUESTION marks, I just look for the blue ink stamp and sign my name on it.

Seriously, deep in my heart, I feel that Kitkit is too tired.
His hectic schedule this year definitely took a toll on his ability to concentrate well. See his schedule here “What’s Life Like for 2013?

Therefore, I did not penalise him on this at all. Well, each shameful moment, when teacher calls out his name and reprimand him infront of the whole class, is hurtful enough.

I can boldly cross my heart and say that he did not do it on purpose. He did not intend to skive. He just somehow continued to miss out teacher’s instructions.
Definitely not something I can help him to improve because I am not with him in school to ‘wake him up’.

I can tolerate and accept the above.
But I CANNOT put up with this OTHER NONSENSE of his: ~

There had been occasions whereby its bedtime.
His bedroom lights are already off.
I, as usual, sat beside my boys to have a little chat before I send them off to dreamland.

Then in the midst of a good chat session, as if a cockroach landed on Kitkit, he jumped out of his bed like an insane being and rushed to his study room.
Ransacked his already-nicely-packed school bag for a piece of paper or a book.
Dug out his pencil case and started doing.

Yes……, he forgot to do a homework.
*eyes rolled*

So after 2 or 3 times, I got sick of it and started to ask him to check thoroughly and put out ALL his school homework on the table after he comes back from school; to the extend of EMPTYING his entire school bag!

But did it help?
He can see the paper or book but do not recall that its a homework until seconds before he meets the Zzzzz monster!!!!
Amazing right?!
*super duper eyes rolled*

This is UNLIKE what I mention at the VERY BEGINNING of this post, which was ‘he-did-not-hear-so-he-does-not-do’.
Whereas this extremity is, he KNOWS that this need to be done, but somehow his brain just could not register that in his skull until much later!

Today, at 6.45am, after Kitkit came out from his morning shower, he went to have his milk as usual.

Sitting on the sofa, staring into space, waiting for the clock to reach 6.58am, the time which we usually set off for school.

Then suddenly at 6.57am, he pushed himself out of bed, ran to the kitchen and gave me a panic-whisper (he does that whenever he did something wrong and does not want his dad to know), “Mummy!!! Come!!! Come!!! Quick!!!”

I knew he did something wrong again.
But I did not want to alarm Allan, who was already opening the gates of the main door.

Following the shadow of my little running man into the study room, who once again combed through the many papers and books in his bag, pulled out a piece of paper and told me with a pale face, “Mummy, You need to do this!!! And must hand-in today.”

I looked at that piece of paper.
It was the same paper I asked him to do last Thursday!!!!!
7th March 2013!!!


Binbin showed me that same piece of paper on last Thursday, it was a school-wide assignment called ‘Read A Book With Your Child’ or something of that sort.

Parents are supposed to read a book with their kids, then write down the title of the book, the name of the author as well as their kids’ reaction during the reading session.

Since it was already stated in the paper clearly that it IS a SCHOOL-WIDE ASSIGNMENT, I believed Kitkit had it too.

I asked if he had it that very day, which was last Thursday.
He checked his bag, pulled out that sheet and calmly said, “I have. But don’t need to do.”

I questioned, “Let me ask you, if you do not need to do this, then WHY do you think Teacher gave this to you?”

“I don’t know.” he gave his usual shrug and continued to affirm, “But I am VERY SURE, don’t need to do.”

His tone was so certain that I choose to let him be, even though I know I am 99% right.

I strongly believe that it is IMPORTANT for children to learn to be responsible and face the consequences of their decisions and actions, the moment they start schooling.

Yesterday night, I was still thinking, “Hhhmmm… so I was wrong?!? Kitkit REALLY does not need to do that ‘Read A Book With Your Child’ thingy.”

With what happened this morning, so I was right after all! *FAINT*


He put the paper on his desk and pushed it towards me.
He stared hard at me as if saying, “C’mon! Do it Mummy. We have to go to school already or we will be late. Hurry!”

I asked in disbelief, “Did I tell you last Thursday that you need to do this, but you insist that its not necessary?! And You Want Me To Do This Now? Obviously there is no time for me to read a book with you now. So You Expect Me To Lie because of your mistake?”

He stood there silently with his pale white face changing into a face filled with emotions of all sorts : Guilt, Resentment, Anxiety, Fear. A whole lot of negative expressions.

“No! I am NOT going to do it. You NEED to be punish by your teacher in order for you to LEARN!” I snapped and stood up.

“Come! Let’s go! You two are going to be late for school if we don’t leave now.” I ordered.

Was he pissed?
You Bet!

He was angry with himself, he was angry with me, he was angry with his father who was reprimanding him, he was angry with his teacher, he was angry with his school, in fact, he was MAD with the Whole World!

Could I have lied for him?
Its just a short assignment, I could have complete it in less than 30seconds.
But the question is, “SHOULD I?!”

If I did it, what am I teaching my son?
That I have his back even when he is in the wrong?
It sounds so cool doesn’t?
And I become his heroine?
“Mummy is the best, no matter what I do, even if its my mistake, Mummy will back me up.” so said the happy child.

Behind every action, there is a lesson to be learned and no way am I going to show my son the incorrect way to manage his errors.

Now, it may just be an assignment.
In future?
What can this escalate to?
I do not want to imagine.
I think the potential of that magnifying is pretty obvious.

All that I know is, if you (myself too) made a mistake, face the consequences and learn it the hard way.

Trying to run away from it will only make you a weak person.
A person who will NEVER accomplish much in life.
Because we WILL make mistakes throughout our stay on earth.
If we run away from every error, which we make, then what are we good for then?!

So Brave Up and Face the Music….
….to become a Stronger Person who Commands Respect.

Is a Primary 4 kid too young to learn such a harsh lesson?
No, I beg to differ.
Its how the parent make the child see the situation.

It was too rush this morning to get in-depth into this.
Will have a chat with him when he is back from school later…



“You Expect Me To Lie?”

Copyright © 2007-2016 All About Your Child. The contents on this blog are the sole property of the author, Angeline Foong, and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent. All Rights Reserved. 2 Comments »

Binbin has a REAL Girlfriend!


I was as happy as a clam on Sunday when my eldest niece told me that she feels comfortable telling me everything, even matters pertaining to boy-girl-relationship, or BGR in short.

I am very happy that my own children has no problem telling me about their BGR too simply because I do NOT tease them and do NOT give negative comments.

Remember my post on how much a girl ‘begged‘ Kitkit to be her boyfriend more than 3 years ago? Read here if you had missed it “6 years old Boyfriend?

Ever since then I had been checking on Kitkit on and off to see if he fancied any girl. So far no. Still white as a blank paper. He promised me that he WOULD tell me, if he ever do find one.

Yesterday, I wanted to know if Binbin would do the same. So while we were waiting for Kitkit to end his extra lessons, we had a short chat with Binbin.

Before I go into details, I think all parents SHOULD listen to their children when they fall in love, regardless of what age.

Never tell your child,
“You are too young for this.”
“You should be concentrating on your studies.”
or worse of all remarks
“Don’t tell me about BGR things. You should not be focusing on such things now.”

For goodness sake, Please DO NOT TEASE your child either.
The above reactions will only shun them away from you.

And before you realised it, they have STOPPED telling you everything that is happening in their lives.
By then, its too late for regrets.

Just listen and ask questions like as if it was YOUR FRIEND telling you about his/her love life and not interrogating a criminal, which I often witness what some parents do to their kids.

Allan mentioned something about girlfriends and Binbin snapped: “I only have one girlfriend.”

Allan: “What’s her name?”

BinBin: “K_ _ _ _ _ n.”

Allan: “Why do you say she is your girlfriend?”

And the whole story went from how they started with a simple occasion of helping each other to solve Maths questions and how they would bump into each other accidentally and laughed heartedly.

Throughout the conversation, I was loving his expressions.
With eyes looking upwards every now and then, as if recalling the incidents…..

It was precious!
That short 15mins chat was worth a Zillion dollars!

Allan continued to ask: “Do you spend time with her during recess?”

Binbin: “Yes.”

Allan: “But you play soccer during recess right?”

Binbin: “Yes, we sit together to eat. Then I spend half of the time playing soccer and half of the time with her.”

Then Binbin gave a very shy smile and went on to say: “We always go to our secret place.”

Allan and my eyes widened: “Secret Place?! Where?”

Me: “What do the two of you do there?” (Alright, I was expecting a kiss or something. *laugh* I was progressing too fast I think.)

Binbin went on to describe the place to us, a corner in the school which we are familiar with and he continued: “We chit chat, we play ‘chopsticks‘ and she tells me alot of things.”

My heart was melting.
So Sweet!

Allan: “So did you get her phone number? Why didn’t she call you?”

Binbin: “No I didn’t. She cannot make phone calls. Her Mummy don’t like. Always want her to finish all her studies before she can make phone call. By then, very late already.”

“But another girl asked me for my number and I gave Mummy’s number to her. Since she asked me for my number, I asked her for her number also lor.”

Wahhh….a ‘triangle-love’ taking shape now.
I am thinking too much again.


Then Allan got serious and asked a couple of questions which I think is A VERY IMPORTANT LESSON FOR ALL PARENTS….

Allan: “Why didn’t you tell us about this before?”
Binbin: “Because you didn’t asked.”

Kids need us to SHOW INTEREST in their lives by asking.
We cannot wait for our kids to come to us to tell us everything.
They do not know if we would be interested to hear in the first place.
So Lesson One : Ask

Allan: “How would you feel if we tell you ‘Aiya, don’t tell us about who you like or who liked you. Don’t say anything about girlfriends.’ “?
Binbin: “I would be angry.”

When you tell your kids NOT to talk about a topic, you are showing disrespect to your child’s views.
When your child tells you something, it means its important to him/her.
By shutting him/her up, just because YOU are not interested, is directly telling him/her that you do not care.

More often than not, adults’ actions do not tally with what we say.
We do not mean harm, but that is NOT how our children see it.
So Lesson Two : Listen more and lecture less.

Allan: “If we say that to you and made you angry, will you still tell us about this in future when we ask?”
Binbin: “No.”

There you have it.
From a child’s mouth.
Your child will STOP telling you once you stop him/her from sharing his/her views with you.

And Lesson Three: Never say “I don’t want you to talk about this anymore.”

Because you will NEVER be able to unlock that part of your child again….

Is that what you want?



Binbin has a REAL Girlfriend!

Copyright © 2007-2016 All About Your Child. The contents on this blog are the sole property of the author, Angeline Foong, and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent. All Rights Reserved. 1 Comment »