All About Your Child

To me, PLAY is more important than study…….. for ANY child.
When a child is at play, the brain is more active.
When the child is at play, the ‘happy cells’ create more antibodies.
With more antibodies, it boosts the immune system.
Happy children are USUALLY healthier kids.

For MOST children, studying is the last on their list of favourite things to do.
How would you feel when you are forced to do something that you do not like?
Stressed?
Pressured?
Anxious?
and definitely Unhappy, right?
All negative feelings, negative thoughts.
Bad for health.

Yet, MOST of us grew up in an environment whereby going to school is compulsory.
As kids, we didn’t have much of a choice, did we?
Our parents said so and we just had to follow.
Not too much of a difference now, yes?
Kids of today still need to study for the test papers, the exam papers…….

BUT!
I still believe in tilting the balance SLIGHTLY, (well, some told me that I tilted too much! *laugh*) by allowing my children to have MORE time for PLAY, MORE time to do what they LOVE and lesser time on studies.

Well, different parents different expectations.
To me, so long as my children pass their papers and could be promoted to the next level, I am contented.
A friend of mine sends his 8 month old baby to school. I am SERIOUS! Learning through flash cards.
While I still send my 8 year old to the playground.

Its just different parenting style.
No right, no wrong.
Just a matter of how happy is the child.
Nonetheless, if your child belongs to the minority, who LOVES to study, then studying will be his or her ‘playing time’, ‘cos your child is doing something that he or she likes.
By all means, stack those shelves up and give your child as many books as your child wants.
*smile*

Ever since we moved to our new home, our boys started to get interested in the games which Allan and I played DURING OUR CHILDHOOD.
From Monopoly to RISK to Animal Chess etc…
Its both entertaining for us (adults) and the kids.
We ‘re-lived’ our childhood and the kids had a glimpse of our childhood.
Most importantly, its GREAT FAMILY BONDING TIME!

Don’t just pile toys up and say “Go Play!”
Play WITH Them!
It is CRUCIAL to play WITH your kids!
Let them see that Daddy and Mummy DO have the FUN side too!
Let them know that Daddy and Mummy can ALSO be just like their friends, who can PLAY with them, LAUGH with them, have FUN with them…..

Ok, so what’s our boys’ LATEST CRAZE?????
BOGGLE!!!!

Hey!
We are ‘fair and square’ parents ok?
We changed the rules slightly so that it did not appear as if we were taking advantage of our younger ones.
Allan and I had to find words that were AT LEAST 4 letters.
Whereas Kitkit and Binbin can start with words that had 3 letters.

SURPRISINGLY!!!!
The kiddos could find ‘long words’ (4 or 5 letters) which the adults DID NOT!
*Super Thumbs Up*
[Alright, where’s the hole! Need to hide my face!]
*Ashamed*

I remembered the times when I played with my sister when we were still young and innocent.
Ok, young yes. Errr…the innocent part….errrrr……*laugh*
Back then, we will cancel away words which both of us have on our list.
I remember losing to her often.
However, I do not remember I was that lousy, until I saw the papers we wrote on so many years back, which were still inside the box of Boggle!
I, actually end up with ZERO score or less than 5 points pretty often, even when my list of words was so long!!!
It was a black and white prove man!
Hey! I’m supposed to know more words than her!
I’m the ELDER one!
*humph*
Oh well, she is the smarter one then! *twisted lips*

*huge laugh*

Was playing Boggle part of your childhood too?
It sure was, for me!
….and now, its part of my children’s childhood too…..
*smile*

Ever since 13th March 2013, my boys had been coming home from school on their own. Read about it in this post “Another Huge Milestone for My Boys“.

All was well for the past 6 months or so. Sometimes they will come home without each other because one has to stay for remedial lessons while the other does not; but most of the time, they had been ‘home-coming’ partners.

2nd October 2013, Wednesday, something happened which made Kitkit felt so uneasy that he does not want to come home by bus anymore…..

Kitkit: “Mummy, please scold Binbin. He stood far away from S. in the bus queue just now (Binbin does not like S., Kitkit’s classmate, because S. teases Binbin often.), then an auntie and her son, also from our school, just cut queue like that and stand infront of us. Then I said, “Wah! Cut Queue Ah!?!?” Then the auntie said: “Where got?! We where got cut queue?!” Then after that she kept staring at me. Her stare makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t like.”

Me: “I am so proud of you that you confronted the auntie, but it would be nicer if you had rephrased your sentence to something like “Auntie, we were in the queue first.” In this way, I do not think she will be upset already.”

Kitkit: “Its All Binbin’s Fault!!!”

Allan: “No one likes to be told that they are wrong. That’s why the auntie was unhappy. You can also try to say, “Auntie, the queue starts from there.” By the way, were the two of you the last in queue?”

Kitkit: “No. There were other people queuing behind us, we were not the last in the queue. Aiya! I REALLY FELT VERY UNCOMFORTABLE when she stares at me! I don’t like people to be against me! Can you fetch me from school tomorrow? I do not want to take bus home tomorrow.”

We agreed.

Thursday, we fetched them back from school.
Friday was a school holiday because of Children’s day.

On Monday morning, yesterday, in the car, on the way to school, I was very surprised that Kitkit still cannot forget the woman’s stare!
Kitkit: “Can you fetch me from school today?”

Me: “Kitkit! You did the right thing. You did not do anything wrong! Why are you afraid?”
Kitkit: “I just don’t want her to stare at me!”
Me: “Its been so many days already. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Its been 4 days already! I seriously do not think she will remember you even if she sees you again.”
Kitkit: “I just don’t want to take bus home!”

Allan: “For how long? Forever?!”
Kitkit: “I don’t know. I just don’t want to take bus home.”

Me: “Kitkit, if you had stolen something from a shop and was caught red-handed by the shop owner once and you are afraid to step into that shop again in future, I can understand. But this?!? You are doing the right thing! Something which even adults dare not do and would only know how to silently curse and badmouth about such queue-cutters behind their backs. I am SERIOUSLY very proud of you…and your courage. However, now you make me feel like you have regretted your ‘good’ action.”

Allan: “Ok! Enough! We will take bus home with you today!”

And that was exactly what we did.
Allan and I left our car in the carpark, took a bus to their school and waited for them to appear.
Then we walked towards the bus queue.
We chose NOT to stand with my boys, so that we could see for ourselves if it was just Kitkit scaring himself or was that woman’s stare really that scary.

We waited.
The queue became longer.
I kept text-ing the children’s mobile phone, “Has the auntie appeared?”
“No.” replied my boy.

We continued to wait.
Suddenly, Kitkit text-ed, “Her son is here. Purple Bag.”
But the mother was nowhere in sight.
The bus came and the son boarded the bus and we confirmed that the mother was not with her son today.

Allan and I: “So its just that day!”
Me: “So she is not with her son every day.”

When we were having lunch at a coffeshop and Allan was away buying his food, Kitkit asked softly, “Mummy, was I thinking too much?”
Me: “Yaaa…….”

This morning, just before the kids alighted at the school drop off point, I said my usual ‘farewell sentence’: “Have Fun!”
But I added an extra sentence today, “See you at home.”
Kitkit understood that Life Is Back To Normal again and that he will be going home by bus, with his brother…..without us and he replied, “Ok lor.”

============

In the afternoon…….after they reached home.
Me: “So how? Was the auntie there today?”
Kitkit: “NOPE!!!” with a huge grin, showing off his two rows of teeth.

*Thumbs Up*

End of the ‘Stare‘ episode.

Please do not see it as just a matter of whether we fetch him from school or not.
We are building his character here.
A character of being ‘man enough’ to face the consequences of his actions.
 Her Stare Made Me Feel Uncomfortable