All About Your Child

Allan and I used to be worried about Keatkeat’s sociability skills and timid personality in the past. You can see lots of posts about those issues during last year. We had always wished that Keatkeat would be more ‘daring’, more outspoken, more expressive and more sociable….and the Good Lord granted our prayers….

Last Monday, 1st September, Allan wasn’t available, so I brought the kids down to watch their favorite event of the year, the National Lion Dance Competition.

It was really crowded. We reached there at 8pm, half hour late. So there wasn’t much space available for a good view. We walked around the whole arena but couldn’t find any good spot for the kids. I could see through the ‘gaps’ between the necks of 2 people but the kids could only see butts.

So we waited for the ‘interval period’ – After each performance, the lion dance troupe is given 10mins to dismantle the props and the next group is given 15mins to set up theirs. So usually, during this 25mins interval, people would leave ‘their space’ and that was our only chance…we were lucky, or so I thought we were at first…

We found this place (see the white circle). It was a good spot, ‘cos the kids were not blocked by anyone. Of cos’ none of the people in this picture is anyone of us. I just wanted to give you a better idea of how ‘our space’ looked like.

The kids were on their feet, while their hands were on the hand-bar.

The first half hour was fine. Then suddenly, Keatkeat started to sing! He sang almost every song he ever knew. Then he started to talk like chipmunks. Or to be exact he started to talk like Alvin in the movie.

He was so LOUD, he’s voice could almost matched the drum! Everyone was turning their heads and looked at him or rather at us! You can see how crowded the place was. Everyone was practically rubbing shoulders.

I whispered, “Keatkeat, when you are so loud, do you think you are disturbing other people?”

He replied, “YEESSSSS!”

“Then can you please stop?” I said sternly

He went, “Ooooo…kay!” Exactly the same tone as Alvin at the end of the movie!

I thanked him for 5mins of pure silence. Then he started to DANCE!!!! Yes he loves to dance. Whenever he hears a rhythm, his whole body starts shaking. In fact I was quite surprised that he didn’t move much when we first arrived…but I guess my joy was short-lived.

The tourist couple sitting on the hand-bar beside Keatkeat started to shift alittle to their right (Keatkeat was on their left), (I guess) to prevent being slapped in the face.

Binbin was on Keatkeat’s left. As Binbin tried to avoid getting hit by his brother’s swinging arms…. While (on the left of Binbin) the mommy and his little boy, around the age of Binbin, started to shift away from Binbin.

I held on to Binbin, “Bin stop moving towards Auntie, they don’t have much space left.”

“But gorgor (big bro) keep beating me!” Binbin debated.

Turning to Keatkeat, “Keatkeat, its important that you must be considerate to others. I know you are happy and you want to dance, but when your dancing affects others, then you MUST STOP!”

He went, “Ooooo-kay!” again and he did stop….for 2mins!

Just then, a woman about my age squeezed her way in-between Keatkeat and the tourists. The space was probably big enough for half of Olive (Popeye’s girlfriend), in fact she nearly pushed the tourist off the hand-bar.

The mother was fast with her apologies, “Sorry sorry, she’s mentally NOT ok…sorry sorry”...Just then Keatkeat started to dance again!”

The mentally unsound daughter pushed the bums of the tourist with her hand, as if requesting for more space. Shortly after, the tourist couple left, not sure if it was because of the mentally unsound daughter or Keatkeat’s ‘un-tame-able’ spirit or because one performance just ended.

The moment they left, the daughter and mother hopped up and sat on the hand-rail. That was perfectly fine…IF ONLY THEY STAY PUT! The daughter started to shift her bum over to Keatkeat. I slided Keatkeat over to Binbin’s side, because I was afraid, very afraid that Keatkeat may hit onto her accidentally and God knows what would she do to him!

The more I shifted Keatkeat, the more she advanced over. She shifted so much towards Keatkeat that the space between her and her mother could fit a grown man! Can you imagine how ‘sandwiched‘ we were?!

These came to an end when my little Binbin complained, “Mommy, I got no space!!! I’m going to knock onto Auntie already.”

“Binbin, there’s nothing I can do, the AUNTIE beside gorgor keep shifting over!” I complained too (indirectly to the mother)

“Mommy, I got no space already! I’m going to fall down already!” Binbin yelled.

I was pissed with the mother’s reaction. Completely oblivious to her daughter’s actions.

“Let’s go. Don’t watch already.” I demanded.

“Noooo…I want to watch!” Screamed my boys in unison.

Only then did the mother take actions, I was expecting her to pull her daughter over to her, instead, she grabbed her hand and left. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you in anyway, but I seriously feel that if your daughter (be it of unsound mind or not) is disturbing others, then you should do something about it.

With the sudden big space, Keatkeat started to slide himself up and down the empty space, the people behind him dare not even come close to the hand-rail.

“Keatkeat, you MUST stop all these nonsense right now, or we are leaving!” I warned.

He YELLED! I have never ever seen him in such a state IN PUBLIC before. He totally became a boy whom I am so unfamiliar with. He YELLED, he threw tantrums, he shouted, “I DON’T WANT!!!!”

More of being in a state of shock, I didn’t know what to do. This is NOT surprising IF it happens to Binbin, but this is definitely a jaw-drop reaction (to me) by Keatkeat. My mind was blank and I could see the shock in Binbin’s face too. We know not of this kid anymore.

The interval period ended. The drum broke his tantrum. It was the start of the next performance.

Binbin: “Mommy, after this lion dance I want to go toilet.”

I thought, ok, that will be a PERFECT excuse to get out of this embarrassing scene. I don’t know about you! But when I see a kid behaving like that, I think the problem lies with the parent – which was me!!! *Urgghhh*

But I couldn’t have grabbed the microphone from the M.C. and made an explanation to the people looking over my direction, “I have NEVER seen my child like that in PUBLIC before. Never!”

Yes Keatkeat do Yell and throw Tantrums at home, but when he is at home, he is not disturbing ‘strangers’ or people in the public. This situation totally took me off-guard. I have no idea what happened to him! It was like Alvin had come all the way from Hollywood and possessed his little body.

I hold my patience. I’m extremely good with that especially in public. I waited patiently (and kept reminding this rascal to stop his nonsense ) for the 15mins performance to be over and then I’ll use the perfect excuse to leave….Keatkeat still continued to dance, continued to sing, continued with his babbling as he enjoyed the lion dance, completely using all his senses except the sense of smell. Oh, probably the smell of his own perspiration.

Yes! It ended! The roaring applause was as loud as the one in my heart! I grabbed Binbin and instructed Keatkeat, “Let’s Go! Binbin needs to go to the toilet.” And off I went with him following behind like a good dog, but kept barking, “after toilet, we are coming back here right? right?! We’ll be coming back here….?!”

In my head I was screaming, “Not on your dear life are we coming back here!”

Though the show wasn’t over, I refused to bring them back to watch. I was completely humiliated, in a way, by my 4-year-old’s behavior. I brought him to a quiet corner in the shopping mall and gave him a lecture of all times.

“Keatkeat! I am very disappointed with you today. I have NEVER been so disappointed with you before. I told you to stop singing so loudly. I told you to stop shouting. I told you to stop dancing. All because this is NOT your house. You cannot do what you like when you are OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. Your actions will affect other people and when that happens, they wouldn’t think you are a good boy. You’ve always wanted people to think you are a good boy. Then you MUST BEHAVE LIKE ONE! And what you did just now were NOTHING close to being a GOOD BOY! I need to punish you! I have to. And the punishment is DON’T TALK TO ME!!!!”

And I walked off. He ran behind me and started to cry. I was not interested to even turn back and console him. I called Allan and told him that we were ready to go home, be it he’s done with his appointment or not. I was ready to take public transport home. But he told me he was on his way to fetch us.

All the way, from the moment we hopped into the car, I told Allan what happened after he asked for the reason behind my charcoal face. I told Allan that Keatkeat haven’t realised that what he did was wrong, ‘cos he would USUALLY say “sorry” after a scolding, but this time, his pride was stopping him. He refused to admit that he was in the wrong. I warned Allan NOT to tell him to apologize, I want him to apologize on his own accord….

Boy! Was this 4-year-old stubborn or what?! He didn’t speak to me till the next day at 10.45am, stood beside me and said, “Mommy, I’m sorry for not listening to you yesterday at the lion dance…I will not do it again…”

This is the biggest punishment ever on Keatkeat and so far it has proven that it worked, ‘cos he showed great improvements to all the other misbehavior of his….

Its so important to let the child knows who is the ONE in control…. sometimes…I don’t want to be a tyrant, but like I’ve said before, I guess my parenting style have to change as the kids continue to test the boundaries….