All About Your Child

There have been so many news about the crisis Singapore is facing in the near future….the decreasing or rather aging population as less Singaporeans are willing to get married younger and give birth or produce more babies….

News 1 taken from here: 39,490 babies were born in Singapore last year, but not all were born of Singaporean parents.

In fact, only 59 per cent of them have both a Singaporean mother and a Singaporean father. But if births where at one parent is a foreigner were included, then the figure goes up to 82 per cent…..

………If Singapore men are fathering more babies than Singapore women are giving birth to, then who is delivering the goods?

6,071 babies were born to Singapore fathers whose wives are Malaysians, Indonesians, Chinese nationals, or are from other countries in the region.

Some women from further afield have also been increasing Singapore’s birth rate.

Singapore’s Total Fertility Rate — which measures the average number of children a woman will have in her lifetime — currently stands at 1.29.

Among the Malay and Indian communities, their birth rates have fallen steadily from year 2000 to 2006.

While the birth rate among the Chinese community has crept up very slightly, it still remains the lowest of all the three races.

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News 2 taken from here: Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong called Sunday on the youth of Singapore to marry at an early age and have more babies to boost the city-state’s population…..Singapore’s fertility rate is currently 1.29 children per woman, well below the 2.1 needed to maintain the country’s 4.6 million population…….

…..the Chinese community, whose fertility rate is the lowest of all Singapore’s ethnic groups at 1.14…..

……men and women need to adjust their attitudes toward marriage to achieve his goals. Many of Singapore’s men are too traditional while their wives care too much about their careers…..

….There must be a balance between career and marriage…..consider getting married and having children while you’re still young…..

“If you wait for a career to be successful, you may miss the best ideal age for child bearing,” he warned.

….Singapore’s husbands need to “change their mind-set,”……In the old days, the man was the master of the household. That era has gone…..men should assist their wives with child-rearing duties and household chores. “The modern-day woman expects equality.”

Parents of young people in Singapore also have a role to play….urging them to match their children with possible spouses.

…Not everyone knows how to woo the opposite sex….They may have smaller social circles, and a busy work schedule…..

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News 3 taken from here: In a desperate attempt to convince couples to have more babies, Singapore’s government is offering a bonanza of tax benefits, leaves and other perks starting January.

The 1.6-billion-Singapore-dollar ($1.1 billion) package outlined in the media Thursday will benefit all parents.

Encouraging more births has been a national priority since Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong focussed on the escalating problem of low birth rates in 2004. The current fertility rate of 1.29 is far from the replacement level of 2.1.

The dwindling birthrate and rise in childless couples in Southeast Asia’s wealthiest nation has been an ongoing cause for alarm. Leaders have pointed out the insufficient number of live births also threatens future economic, labour and defence requirements.

An initial set of incentives introduced four years ago failed to make a significant difference.

The idea is to create a ‘family-friendly’ Singapore……

……..Under the incentives in the latest package, parents can claim 4,000 Singapore dollars ($2,857) in child tax relief, instead of the current 2,000 Singapore dollars.

Working mothers can claim more: 15 percent for the first child instead of five percent.

In total, the amount parents can claim for a child each year has doubled to 50,000 Singapore dollars ($35,714).

A bigger cash ‘Baby Bonus’ will be given for the first and second child; 4,000 Singapore dollars ($2,857 US dollars) instead of 3,000 Singapore dollars.

Paid maternity leave will increase from 12 to 16 weeks for mothers.

The government will also pay part of the cost for fertility treatments for women under 40.

Population planners have pointed out that no country has been able to lift its fertility rate to the replacement level after it plunged to 1.29.

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News 4 (further elaboration) taken from here: …………Parents can also spend more time with their kids as paid maternity leave will be extended from 12 to 16 weeks, of which the last eight weeks can be taken flexibly, over 12 months starting from the date of confinement.

Each parent will also be entitled to six days of paid childcare leave a year if their child is below the age of seven. The first 3 days will be employer—paid, with the remaining days paid for by the government.

For those with children under two years old, they can each take up to six days of unpaid infant care leave…..

………To help defray the cost of raising children, S$400 million will be set aside for the Baby Bonus scheme, a two—tier grant given to parents. Improvements include increasing the cash gift from S$3,000 to S$4,000 for the first and second child.

Some S$220 million worth of Baby Bonus were given out in 2007.

Childcare and infant care subsidies will also almost double. Working mothers can expect subsidies of S$300 or S$600 a month for full—day care, while non—working mothers will get S$150.

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With so much attempt to get Singaporeans to start “manufacturing”, will the government fail to see improvement like what they did in 2004’s BabyBonus? Only time will tell….

But for my case, there is something else that wasn’t mentioned. What about pre-birth? Those expenses are HUGE!!! The check-ups, the folic acids, the tonics, the transportation cost to and fro the hospital and not forgeting the expensives incurred in the labour ward and the hospital stays….

Yes there are perks for after-birth, but before a ‘poor’ person can give birth, there should be incentives to ‘help‘ the person get through the ‘difficult’ 10months (financially)….of cos’ in some aspect, I do see it as a risk to the government in situation where the baby died at birth or the baby couldn’t survive through the 9-10months….so its a gamble…its really whether the government is willing to take that risk…

SERIOUSLY, if the government is willing to ‘pay’ for the basic check-ups needed before birth, I would be the first one to start my ‘long-awaited factory’ in operation again! Remember my ideal number of kids is 4!!! *wink*

As most of you know, I was forced to end ended my retail business of 6 years last year in May. But I’ve got sooooo much stocks to clear, you can only use your wildest imagination OR you can get a glimpse of the amount of stocks I have in the 3rd picture of this post.

I’ve been going to low or no rental bazaars to clear my handmade accessories at S$1.00 each since last year every now and then. OF COURSE, AT $1, EVERYTHING IS PRACTICALLY BELOW COST!

But the 3-day bazaar which just ended yesterday would be MY LAST. Going for a bazaar now can easily upset my little Binbin and Allan’s appointments with his clients. Moreover after we have sold the van, it was extremely mind-cracking to squeeze all that into the tiny car.

I still have lots of beads, lots of parts and pieces, lots of handpainted clothings, lots of mobile phone accessories, mannequin, clothes hangers, jewellery-display gadgets, to sell away….so I’ve decided to give eBay a try and I got to know a forum (got this from one of the retailer during this bazaar) where people look for 2nd hand items for their pushcarts business (which I definitely have lots to sell to them).

Of course, I’ll continue giving consignment as I have been doing since last year, but that’s just too slow. When you give consignment to a retailer, they (naturally) will concentrate on their own products more than yours, completely understandable.

So I’ll be beading away as and when I feel like it and no longer need to rush out hundreds of earrings (before the every bazaar) just to meet the ‘expected sale quantity’ for each bazaar.

And my Keatkeat need not help me do this anymore, go see how great a helper my boy was (last year), this is a MUST SEE POST!

And no more of these moments…..

So goodbye to long hours of standing…

goodbye to late nights setup….

goodbye to not-able-to-take-my-meal-in-peace….

goodbye to sweaty and dirty hands after every setup and tear-down…

goodbye to the fear of not earning enough cover the rental and the cost price of each item and not even considering my salary…..

goodbye to all of that….

And many didn’t believe that it was Allan who decided to start this retail business and who was also MY TEACHER before I start to create my very first handmade jewellery.

So wish me lots of luck in clearing my stuff at the forum and at eBay too, won’t you?

After buying the piggy bank for Keatkeat - my little ‘money-magnet’, Binbin has been looking forward to a day he gets his own. Finally his wait is over.

We bought this from Mini Toons at S$3.95, pretty expensive (to me. Ah, me and my retail-stinginess), but his dad decided to go for it.

There were 4 other characters but we chose this because its green, one of Binbin’s favourite colour (for now). There were 3 words written on the back of the Froggy, “Less is More”. Allan and I had the same response when we saw it.

We couldn’t quite understand what does that mean, somehow the phrasing seems funny. It means that by saving a little at a time, eventually, in time to come, you would have saved more, IS that IT???

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Time flies. Indeed it does. We have received the notification that Binbin is accepted into the same school as his elder brother next year.

My little rascal is finally going to get his very first school uniform, be alone for more than 30mins without any of us (the familiar faces), start making friends on his own…..just seems so exciting, will he cry for the first few days, I bet he will!

His brother cried for a week, lets see if sticky-Binbin is going to break that record!

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I woke up with a bump on my pinky finger a couple of days ago, its still subsiding…

I used to get this almost every now and then when I was a kid and my dad used to have an unusual explanation for it. Now (it was my turn) I’m reciting the same story to my curious kids.

Binbin: “Mommy, what is that?”

Me: “The mosquitoe bit me and left his saliva inside my skin.”

Binbin: *Frown*

I used to burst it with a needle in order to squeeze out the liquid but no longer now, can’t be bothered already I guess, with so much things on hand waiting for me to do, even a few seconds is precious.

But seriously, does any of you know why does this happen? Is it caused by the mosquitoes?

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I enjoyed having my ear dug. It used to be something that my dad would do to my sis and I whenever his ears needed to be dug. I like the feeling of the ear-pick massaging the inner skin of my ears more than the thought of having my ears cleaned.

I noticed my boys like that feeling too, ‘cos they are ‘begging’ for their ears to be picked EVERYDAY, so I’ve decided to change the metal ear-pick to a wooded one so that its more gentle on their tender skin.

It has a cute top. The funny thing is, the moment the kids saw it, they shouted in unison, “La Bi Xiao Xin!”

*Laugh* I never saw the resemblance, but now I do!

But seriously, if you really want your ears to be cleaned by a ear-pick, please get the metal type, ‘cos the wooden kind is way too big and too thick. The chances of pushing the ear-wax further into the ear is higher than getting them out!

But then again, I’ve heard many say that it is not necessary to get your ears picked….oh well…so long as my kids are happy, never mind what others say, so long as I’m careful while doing it on their ears, right?

Being a parent is having to wake up at 5am in the morning with eyes half open and mind still asleep, holding a dustbin infront of your coughing child, ready to catch whatever vomits that is going to come splashing out of his mouth like the merlion.

Then due to over-exertion, your little flesh and blood couldn’t hold his bladder and water came out from below at the same time as semi-liquids spat out from the mouth (OF COS THEY ARE OF DIFFERENT SUBSTANCE)

And you’ve got to wash the bedsheet, the bolster cover, the pajamas even before the sun is up. Clean him up real good to make sure he doesn’t smell like an unwashed toilet bowl and finally gave up your own bed for him to rest while you hang the washed mattress out of the window, waiting and hoping for the sun to do its magnificent work on that wet mess real soon.

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Being a parent is having to go through a conversation like this:-

Kid: “Mommy, why Henry’s Mommy buys toys for Henry even though its not his birthday?
Mommy (who is determined to stick by her principal): “Is Henry’s Mommy your Mommy?”
Kid: “No.”
Mommy: “Would you like to be Henry’s Mommy’s Son?”
Kid: “No.”

Mommy: “But if you become her son, you don’t need to wait till it’s your birthday to have toys.”
Kid: “I don’t love her, I don’t want to be her son.”
Mommy: “So do you love me?”
Kid: “Yes”
Mommy: “Do you want to continue to be my son?”
Kid: “Yes”

Mommy: “So if you love me and wants to continue to be my son, what should you do?”
Kid: “Listen to you.”
Mommy: “So what did I say about buying toys then?”
Kid: “You will buy toys only on my birthday.”

Mommy: “Agree?” (Sticking out the pinky finger)
Kid: “Yes” (Hooking his pinky onto the mommy’s pinky finger)

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Being a parent is having to harden your heart to give appropriate punishment at the appropriate time.

And after 5 minutes of ‘Quiet Time’, you come back and see the younger one was actually having fun (while being punished) with his tiny feet in his PaPa’s shoes and then you extended another 5 minutes as you get that pair of big shoes far from his reach.

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Being a parent is having to come up with a new story every night, with a good morale behind it and eventually made your little one cry because of your talented story-telling skills (*laugh* thick-skinned! But Binbin DID CRY over one of my made-up stories) and then wake up in the morning with wet kisses all over your face, good enough for a saliva-facial-treatment.

Being a parent is having to give up your leisure time, your me-time, you and your hubby’s lovey-dovey time and be the idol of your children completely.

Being a parent is having a couple of additional white hairs, a number of awful night rests, a hundred of worries, a thousand of laughters and a lifetime of bonded-love.

Panda eyes, worn-out body, additional stress, endless worries, challenging kiddy issues IN EXCHANGE FOR a bond so strong that only GOD could separate it (which HE would never do), this GAME OF PARENTING I’m all in! Are you in this with Me too?

On Wednesday (13th), my sweet sister and her boyfriend gave me a couple of hours of me-time by bringing the kids to the ONLY Disney Theme Restaurant situated OUT of Disneyland in Singapore Anchorpoint Shopping Mall. So whatever that is written here is what my sis and my boys narrated to me after the experience.

The entrance. There is a projected screen showing ‘The Incredibles’ the movie cartoon.

There are Disney soft-toys sitting on the top parapet and a small screen showing the restaurants’ Daily Specials.

They ordered a pizza for the 4 of them. Kids ate the ‘Ears’ and the adults ate the ‘Face’.

Cheese Macaroni for Binbin.

As usual, he gobbled down all the pineapples from the pizza and almost finished his big plate of Cheese Macaroni.

Then he took one sip on his strawberry shake and regretted at the very same moment.

Keatkeat ordered the Chicken Stew and loved the sauce, but he couldn’t finished his apple juice.

Then both of them gobbled down one banana each.

What kept them completely entertained were the PC. They get to play their favourite games which is similar to their favourite website http://www.disneychannel-asia.com. My sis chose a seat right next to the PC, so it superb for the kids.

See the Green Button (on top of Keatkeat’s head on his right-side)? Pressing it will release water from the glove to wash your hands and at the same time make the ‘black-stripes’ on the mickey glove change colours.

Here, little Binbin was helping himself to a balloon from the  balloon decorations and wanted to get one more for his elder brother but didn’t succeed…

So my sis went to the staff to request for one for his big brother, Keatkeat, before monkey see - monkey do.

And there you have it - 2 completely happy children!

Review of the Restaurant: -

Though the kids love the place, my sis was rather disappointed with the whole experience. Here’s what she has to say:

- The whole place was not kids-oriented.

- The sofas are quite far away from the table and hence Keatkeat had to stand in order to reach his food.

- The staff were not as children-friendly as compared to the staff at Hong Kong Disneyland, who are super friendly whenever a child comes near, but she hardly see the staff at this restaurant doing that.

- The food portions are NOT in children sizes. Everything were in adult portion.

- There are no kiddy utensils, so it was really tough if you have kids who would like to feed themselves but have problem holding the heavy metals in their tiny fingers.

- The food is consider expensive with regards to its portion and the taste. The four of them spent $50++ just for a meal there.

- Lastly, if you are driving, please note that a 2 hour parking could cost you around S$6.00!

So you decide if you wanna give it a try! But my kids gave a definite “YES” to going back there again!

DURIAN!!!!

For my friends from another side of the planet who have not seen this fruit before, Wikipedia has the following explaination : -

…...the fruit is distinctive for its large size, unique odour, and formidable thorn-covered husk. The fruit can grow up to 30 centimetres (12 in) long and 15 centimetres (6 in) in diameter, and typically weighs one to three kilograms (2 to 7 lb). Its shape ranges from oblong to round, the colour of its husk green to brown, and its flesh pale-yellow to red, depending on the species.

The edible flesh emits a distinctive odour, strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Regarded by some as fragrant, others as overpowering and offensive, the smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust. The odour has led to the fruit’s banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in Southeast Asia.

But if I were to compare Taiwanese Smelly BeanCurd, “Eeeeewwww”, that is definitely the champion if we talk about intense disgust.

I like the durian sellers’ new style of serving their customers now - opening the THICK and PRICKLY husk, picking out all the flesh and packing them into the disposable box before selling to us, the consumers. Opening the husk need some skills and if you are unlucky, your fingers may bleed before you could even get to the flesh!

This is the first time for Binbin and he loved it! Lost count on how many he ate. So if a kid can be so crazy over it, you can imagine the smell - can’t be that bad, right?

After trying for so many times over the years, Keatkeat still refuse to take the 2nd bite.

A sight like this with the great banner “Durian Sales” or “Mao San Wang” the new species of durian are almost every where in Singapore. Durian is a seasonal fruit and so its not always available in large quantity. There are always new species coming out, for a certain year, it was XO and that sold like hot cakes!!!!

My FIL is an expert when it comes to choosing durians, surprisingly non of his sons are interested to dig into the knowledge he has, yet the whole family loves to eat durian. When I was still Allan’s girlfriend (not even fiancee), I often have durian as DINNER with his family members. Durian (a fruit) as Dinner was truly an eye opener for me.

So the inqusitive daughter-in-law (ME) got the tips from the ever-willing to share FIL and here they are: -

1st- know if it’s ripe by shaking with your hands or knocking the durian with the flat-side of a knife. If it is ripe, you can feel the flesh rock alittle. The sound of the knocking of the knife is different for a ripe and an unripe fruit. Too bad I can’t really explain how different they sounded. THAT’S THE REASON WHY all durian sellers holds a knife and knock on the fruit before opening it for you to test.

2nd - Look at the shape, choose one that is oval, almost like an America Football or rounded. If you choose an irregular shaped durian, the parts that are indented are the parts without flesh or have baby-flesh.

3rd - Look at the torns, if they are widely spreaded, you know their seeds are small and the flesh is alot. If the torns are very close to each other, then the seed is big and the flesh is lesser.

4th - Durian have many different taste. Some sweet (my favourite) and some bitter-sweet (my FIL’s favourite). To know this, you need to train your nose to smell it out from the husk. You will be able to see a fine line on every durian husk, that’s the opening-line, put your nose there and you can smell the ‘taste’ inside. This really needs practise to differentiate the different taste.

So I leave you with 4 simple tips. I’m happy with the result of my first attempt on choosing the KING of FRUITS based on my FIL’s tips. So for all you durian lovers out there, go give it a try! *wink*

Yes, I’ve said it over and over again that I love children and would love to have many if I owned a mountain of gold but 18 Children. Wow! I don’t think I can ever handle that!!! Talk about loving children, this couple sure have LOTS OF LOVE FOR KIDS and they say that this may be their last or may be not!

Thank you everyone for your consoling and encouraging words. I wanted to answer some of your comments in the comment boxes itself, but I’ve got a feeling, you probably won’t go back to the comment boxes to check my replies and there were alot of stuff I would like to take this opportunity to clarify too….

Because of the unpredictable weather, my elder one (the weaker boy) sneezes and coughs much more at night. Just like last night, he coughed till he vomits again. But it was brief and so it was settled fast.

Shemah’s hubby swear by his prevent-night-tantrums ritual (see her comments). Though I am a Believer of Christ, I am still a very superstitous person. To me, there is no harm trying things that doesn’t cause anyone to get hurt, instead it may just provide a solution to the problem. So when I hear such things, I do try! Guess what? I DID BATHE my little Binbin with ‘Hong Hua’ leaves (see the post ‘It’s Challenging-part 2‘) before he slept perfectly well for 2 nights now.

As I was once able to see the ‘unclean’ I know ‘they‘ can be quite disturbing at times and my friend, Candy, who still sees them told me that this ‘power’ can be hereditary. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for that. But dear friends, I free from the ‘harassments’ already ever since I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. So IF Binbin really has it, I know there is a way to stop this.

Yes, he’s feet have not stepped into a Church before, ‘cos my MIL and FIL is strongly against it and they have warned me that if I ever try it, they would be ready with their armour and weapons to wage a war against me. But the time will come…Binbin and Keatkeat WILL be stepping into Church without pressure….

In Shemah’s comments, she mentioned about some parents having angel-patience too. I’ve been to other blogs where the parents say how well they handled certain kiddy situations that sounded so much like a direct copy from the parenting manual and that sounded just so non-human.

I’m sorry if I’m going to say something that doesn’t seem pleasant- I believe everyone should blog what’s true and what’s really from the heart. But there are people out there who blog-to-impress and when I realized it, it’s off my Google Reader list. I understand that different people blog for different reasons but whatever the reason is, shouldn’t it be truthful?

I blog what really happened, what really went through my mind, what I really felt at that moment. If I don’t feel like saying it, I’ll just SHUT UP!, instead of (lying) blogging what other’s would go “Wow” over. I love to have people who like THE REAL ME to come over to this tiny space of mine and not purposely attract traffic here for the purpose of popularity, though it will definitely boost my income with page-per-impression.

Some of you know that I rejected the tag on “A Tribute To Mom and Dad”. As much as I’m crazy over tags, I refused to do this tag, ‘cos I have nothing (good) to say about them. They are good (as a human) in certain ways, but as parents, they failed badly towards me. Did they support me? No! Did they console me when I was sad (oh how could they, when they are the cause of the hurt)? No! Oh well, ok, my mom gave birth to me and my dad housed me, that’s probably what made them good parents, does that count? I don’t hate them anymore, just that I REFUSED TO write something that doesn’t come from my heart.

Many do not understand the magic behind fengshui, many thinks that it’s a non-Christian-like behaviour, but did you know that many churches are built upon the advice from Fengshui Masters? Anyway, I’m not here to argue anything, it’s just my belief. And as for Lynn’s comments, active animals (like your horses) and active items (like waterfall) should never be placed in the bedroom, ‘cos it will cause troubled minds and restless souls, hence should never be placed in a place where everyone needs to rest and have a peace of mind.

Thank you everyone for loving my boys so much…yes Binbin slept well for 2 nights and I hope he continues for as long as forever and as for Keatkeat, it’s going to be a long term battle between his sensitive nose and his Bronchitis, which comes on and off….*phew* at least there are days where he does have good rest…