Parenting does Hurt Marriage

Child, Handling Misbehaviour, Parenting, Preschool


and it did yesterday night. It was back to the same old issue. This is probably THE only issue that Allan and I just can’t come to an agreement on.

You see, Allan and I hardly argue over anything. Yes, we have our disagreement sometimes, but we are never at each other’s throat….hmmm… but it seems that this just might be the very first.

Punishment started to be introduced some weeks back. First, it was taking away privilleges. Then it was ‘quiet corner’ and yesterday he made Keatkeat stand outside the house! Yes, I know the link on top ‘the same old issue’ is more on Binbin and I did mention that “so far Keatkeat is more or less out of this category of ‘slow eaters’, so no issues on my 4year old.” in that post. But these few weeks, Keatkeat was NOT HIMSELF. He eats slower than his already-very-slow-eater-bro.

Sometimes it can take over an hour! The food just stays in the mouth, no biting, no chewing and obviously no swallowing.

This was what happened during yesterday’s lunch. Allan put a stop-watch on their mini-dining table. 20mins. Binbin reacted very fast, in the good way. He sped up and was left with one spoonful of rice just before it beeps. Allan said he recognised the effort that Binbin put in and so he was not punished.

I was unhappy about this. To me, rules are rules. If you said, “when you can’t finish your rice before the beep, you’ll have to get out of the house.” Even if its one spoonful, Binbin still failed the mission, hence he should be punished too! (not that I love to see my kids being punished) But its unfair to Keatkeat!

In 20mins, Keatkeat merely stuffed 4 mouthful of rice. Obviously his plate still seem quite untouched. He cried. He kept saying, “But Binbin didn’t finish his rice too.” Anyhow, my Keatkeat is a very unusually-matured boy, he just opened the door himself and stood outside the house. Allan kept the door opened. The punishment lasted for 15-20mins.

My rule of the thumb is “never interfere at the point of punishment” no matter how unsupportive I am. ‘cos I don’t want my kids to see an angel and a devil. It took great efforts to establish their ‘happy’ father and son relationship – see my post on ‘Anti-Dad’ back in January this year.

But when dinner comes. Boy oh boy! I can’t stand it anymore! Though I know Allan will never let the boy sleep outside the house for the night, although he said that. But I don’t like my neighbours to be involved. You see, my neigbours are out for work in the afternoon (obviously), but they are back in the evening. They are a bunch of nice people, often very caring and sharing. It would be a surprise if they didn’t come over with questions…. I don’t like that.

It was 20mins again. Keatkeat was stuffing till he got choked and on the verge of vomitting…..

I can’t stand the sight, I just yelled, ” For goodness sake! Why introduce such punishment!!!!?”

“Ahhh… what the F***! Whatever I do is never right?! Isn’t it ridiculous? The speed that he is eating?! Ahhh…I’m not gonna care anymore! Do whatever you (referring to my 5year old and me) like! I’m not gonna care!” Allan shouted back and stormed to the PC desk.

Hey hey where did that come from???! When in the world did I say, “Whatever you do is never right?!” Anyway, I got my point across. That’s all I wanted and badly needed.

I didn’t care too, leaving Keatkeat really confused – “so am I going out of the house now?” or “do I still need to finish my rice?.” I’m sorry boy… I wanted to be occupied with something else, so I just got Binbin ready for bed…. and I fell asleep as I patted his bum.

This morning, Allan was out early, didn’t get to see him at all… but I know we’ll be fine, I just know it will be….

(some of you ask if Allan reads my blog. Actually he doesn’t, only when I asked him to read a particular post like the one on our 8th wedding anniversary. So he’ll probably not get to read this either. Whatever it is, that’s fine with me.)

Copyright © 2007-2016 All About Your Child. The contents on this blog are the sole property of the author, Angeline Foong, and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent. All Rights Reserved. 23 Comments »

I’m so lucky!

Child, Handling Misbehaviour, Health, Parenting, Preschool

First of all, I’m so lucky that my conscience has not left me, if not, I may have cooked my unborn baby for consumption, as in yesterday’s post….

15 Nov, 2.58am: Just switched off the PC after catching up with all the outstanding posts since my swollen eye days.

3.05am: Keatkeat popped his head out of the dark room and cried: “Mommy, I wake up and I can’t sleep again….” I asked if he was hungry, he shook his head. “Ya, its about time for his next intake of medication.” was what went through my mind after looking at the clock.

(I really dislike cold weather. Whenever it happens for more than 3 days in a roll, Keatkeat’s good friend – Bronchitis, will come for a visit and you will NEVER know how much ‘he’ misses my boy and hence how long ‘he’ would stay)

3.15am: Gave him a bottle of milk and a few tiny pieces of Pandan Cake, followed by his runny nose and cough medicine. “Mmmm….Yummy!” was his reply… and then *cough couGH COUGH AND BLEH!* He vomitted. Nothing to be alarmed. I’m used to this. Blogged so many times over this before: cough so much and so hard till he vomits! Ya…its the norm.

I’m so lucky that I wasn’t woken up to this, or I’ll be shooting fire from my nostrils and ears with unpleasant grumbles coming out of my big mouth. On top of that, I’m soooo lucky because he vomited in the kitchen and not on his bed. *Phew* Are you thinking I’m crazy? Anyway, I’m really glad.

So no scoldings from me, the only sentence that was said with a little faster heart-beat was, “Oh! Keatkeat, you COULD have walked faster, so that you could reach the toilet before the vomits come out…” He vomitted as he head for the toilet, the spread was about 3meters, yes, he vomited as he walked.

So there I am washing my kitchen floor at 3+am in the morning, nothing could be heard except the sound of me scrubbing against my mosaic floor and the singing of Keatkeat: “Mop! mop! mop! mop-pi-li mop. And we go mop! mop! mop! mop-pi-li mop…”

Can you see how calm my boy is? It has become such a common thing for him, its no longer a big deal! Its rather ironical.

He was extremely happy to be my assistant cos’ his brother is not there to fight that post with him. “Keatkeat, I need more water…” I commanded. “OoooKay!…(and started singing again as he wait for the water to fill the pail) 1 2 3 tap tap tap, 4 5 6 and tap tap tap….”

4.15am: The floor was cleaned and smelt nice. “Mommy, I don’t want to sleep..” pleaded my 5 year old. “Ok, then what would you like to do?” hoping that he would not request for something too much for his exhausted mommy. “I want to do art and craft…I want to fold paper…” I shook my head, I wasn’t in the mood to teach but suggested him to draw. He agreed.

As I watched his little figure completely engrossed in the white sheet of paper, making strokes with his pencil as every second passes…I doze off unknowingly….

5am: “Mommy wake up… I finished my drawing and finished reading my story books already. I want to sleep now…” *Hooray!* But when I looked at the detailed drawing, I can’t help but request for an explanation before we head for the bedroom.

“The sun is setting and the moon is rising. (to me, it should be the other way round, looking at the time… *sigh*) The sun is sad because its raining. (yes, its been rainy for almost a week now and that’s the main reason why your Bronchitis came) There were lightning and thunder, so we can’t go out for fun. We played hide and seek at home. Binbin is hiding in the hole (tiny figure on the right) and the 3 of us are looking for him…. Mommy is this nice?”

I pulled him close to my chest, stroke his hair, “Yes Keatkeat, its very nice…. Ok, now let’s go sleep….” *Yawn*

Copyright © 2007-2016 All About Your Child. The contents on this blog are the sole property of the author, Angeline Foong, and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent. All Rights Reserved. 14 Comments »