All About Your Child

AGAIN!
Yes!
He sat on his glasses again!
So this is his third pair of glasses.
*Aaarrggghhhh*

There are certain (few, I would say) things I am extremely particular about, one of them is myopia. I had written TOO MANY posts on this topic and mentioned in the past about how heartbroken I would be if my children have myopia. Some of my blog posts on myopia includes: ~
“Eye Sight“
“My Greatest Fear…“
“Numbers Which Broke My Heart“

And my always-keep-me-on-my-toes elder son had it when he was in Primary 1.     *Heart Sunk Deep Down*

When we were in the mist of moving to our current temporary home during April 2012, the kids slept without a bed frame. It was just a mattress separating them from the floor.

He took out his glasses, placed it on the floor, played on his mattress. While playing, he shifted the mattress in a way that it laid ONTO the glasses and he slept on it over night; only to be discovered the next day when he realised it was not in his school bag. Yes, he could ‘not see’ that day in school.

Scratches on the lens could easily be seen and it affected his vision.

I am a Mummy who makes my child ‘pay‘ for their own mistakes. That is how they will remember and hopefully *fingers crossed* will NOT make the same mistake again.

So he paid $90 for his second pair of spectacles with his own money. Did paying for his own glasses helped him to remember his mistake? Oh yes! It sure did! He no longer puts it down beside his bed, he puts it beside his butt when he was in the car! *faint*

Yes, he sat on it and it CRACKED! So much so that the frame tilted in a way it affected his vision and gave him headaches. *shake head*

The left side that hooks behind the ear cannot be balanced. It is higher and does not touch the ground like the right side. All because its BROKEN at the left hinge.

See the part where the screw is?
Can you see the crack line that runs horizontally below the screw?

Once again, I brought him to the SAME optician, even he remembered us! “This was bought less than 3 months ago.” He continued to say, “Kids are just so careless.”

However, this time it hits Keatkeat harder, losing $50 and the colour frame that he loved.

The optician could not find the same frame in white, only red and blue are left. He wanted to choose white frame again, but it would cost him $40 more because the optician would need to make a totally new pair of lens to fit the new frame and Keatkeat did not want to pay the extra $40.

So it was between red and blue. Personally, I thought it would an easy choice for him because blue is his favourite colour, but he was VERY unhappy with his new blue glasses. Even after we had left the optical shop, he was still sulking.

Me: “Keatkeat, I thought blue is your favourite colour? Why are you unhappy?”

KK: [He turned his back towards me and pointed at his heavily loaded school bag.] “Look at this, imagine the whole bag only has ONE COLOUR, blue colour. Do you think its nice? God made the world so colourful, if everything around us is just one colour, BLUE! Do you think it is boring? Its just like plain lame brain, RIGHT?!”

He was REALLY PISSED!!!

Me: “But your 2nd pair of glasses is completely white, isn’t that plain lame brain too?”

KK: “NO!” he snapped! “There is a black line on the side! Its a design! Its nicer! Not like this one, ALL BLUE!” *humph*

He was REALLY UPSET!!!

Allan had an appointment to attend today, so we took a bus ride home. He was calm and composed by the time we alighted after the 30mins journey. So I thought he would be alright thereafter. But I was wrong!

When we reached home, he exclaimed in his room, “Oh no! I have to find more ways to earn more money already. After giving you this $50, I am left with $2 in my piggy bank!”

From young, I teach my boys about the value of money and this has been flowing in his blood.

Seeing him feeling the pinch, it was my time to anchor in the good values again…

Me: “Keatkeat, why do you need to pay $50?”

KK: “Because I broke my spectacles.”

Me: “How did you break your spectacles?”

KK: “I sat on it.”

Me: “How can you prevent yourself to sit on it?”

KK: “Keep it in the box every time I take off my spectacles.”

Me: “So are you saying, if you KEEP your spectacles in the box right after you TAKE them off, you will NOT sit on it and so you will NOT break it and so you will NOT need to pay this $50?”

KK: “Yes, yes, yes! Left with $2 only! Shit lah!”

You may call me a sadist Mummy, but I am happy to see Keatkeat feeling so pissed. ‘cos if he is NOT upset enough, this son of mine will never change. He is that sort of kid who needs to learn the hard way……

He Sat on His Glasses

It seemed like an obvious question.
However, I noticed that many parents cannot handle the truth said by their children.
Parent’s ego gets in the way and started defending themselves when their children could point out their flaws.
Parents start apologising to strangers when their kids point at them and said something unpleasant BUT TRUE!
“Don’t say that!” snapped the parent.

Let me give you a real life incident:
The four of us were waiting for the lift together with another family of four. We had two boys each. The mother and I started giggling and exchanging friendly glances when we noticed that her two boys and my two boys were playing the same ‘chopsticks’ game.

[Lift came]

In the lift, we started a conversation:
The mother: “Are they twins?”
Me: “No. (pointing at Keatkeat) He is in Primary 3 and the other, Primary 1.”

Immediately her elder child, who was in Primary 4 asked, “Why is the elder brother not taller than the younger brother?”
The mother: “Hey boy, don’t say that. Very rude.”
I looked at her and said: “Kids always tell the truth and there’s nothing wrong with that. No worries. Anyway, he (aka Keatkeat) is used to such comments already.”

The parents looked at me with _______ expression. I do not know how to describe that look. A mixture of disbelief, resentment and disapproval. Followed by awkward silence. When they reached their level, a small grin between the mother and I was exchanged before they walked out of the lift.

To me, it confuses the child. You want them to tell you the truth, yet when they say the truth, you reprimanded them and say they are rude and should not say it.

Why is truth = rude?

Regardless if its children or adults, truth = truth. If you do not like to hear the truth, just because it is not pleasing to your ears, it still does NOT = rude.

Children live in a very simple world. Yes means yes and no means no.

Very often, a young child’s complicated behaviour is due to the parents’ conflicting parenting styles, rules and belief system.

=========

Today, my niece commented on one of my photo posted on Facebook. It was a photo of me and my friend, whom she does NOT know.
She remarked: “y u all two so ugly.”
I laughed it off by replying: “because you so pretty lor! *laugh*”

She is in the stage of finding a voice for herself.
At the same time, it is also a stage whereby she would purposely say things that are alarming enough to get attention.
I was NOT offended by her remark, however this short comment of hers sparked a lot of questions from my Facebook contacts.

“Who is this girl?”
“Why is she so rude?”
“Does she know your friend?”
“If she does not know your friend, how can she say such rude remarks?”
“Must educate her cannot say other people ah.”

My respond was the same to these 5 caring people.
“I LOVE kids, becos they are what they are.
no fake, no act.
say what’s in their heart/mind.
which is why I laughed it off in my reply comment to her.
I do not want to educate her, becos it will backfire. she is NOT in that age yet to understand what is streetsmart.

i want the truth to continue to flow.
which is why i am feeling ok about it.
just shocked and worried that she might mess with the wrong person the next time (if there IS a next time though).
she has to learn that way….especially knowing her character…
*wink*”

To me, everyone has the right to comment anything they want. If you like to hear nice things only, then the ‘cruel’ social media may not be a place for you.

Terrible comments had been received in my blog before too.
Did I remove them? No!
Did I scold them? No!
Is it even worth to start an argument? No!

Everyone has their own opinions.
When yours is not inline with mine, does that make you right and make me wrong, and vice versa?
No.
It is just a difference in opinion.

I understand the 5 caring people are worried that she may mess with the wrong person in future. Indeed, my niece is very lucky to say those words to me and THIS friend of mine, who has one of the BIGGEST HEART I have ever seen in my life so far. So she is NOT offended either.

I can foresee that if my niece had said that comment to ladies who are sensitive to their outlooks, nasty words might had flew at my niece already.

I do not like to be an overly protective parent, neither will I be an overly protective aunt.

Some things just need to be learned the hard way, before it can go INTO THE CHILD’S HEAD.
*smile*