All About Your Child

Parenting my 7 year old has been nothing but a a bed of roses with untrimmed thorns.

Bed of roses ~ totally amazed at how independent he has become and how he used that to help out in the family.

As for thorns, they are still making me bleed every single day.

In fact, ever since he started Primary school education last year, it has been an uphill struggle. My patience were tested over and over again. My creative parenting ideas were slammed with failure.

Am I defeated?
Well, I am not throwing in the towel yet.
It is a stage that every child has to go through. I have been there and done that too. Yes, this stage will pass. But my question is, this is also a stage where parents have to start molding the child, how can I let my child makes the most out of this stage without burning myself out?

ATTITUDE is the focus for any parent parenting 7 year old.

Attitude of the child, as well as attitude of the parent, both are just as important. When you think badly of your child, he will react even worse. So parent’s attitude is crucial too.

For the very first time, he challenged me…

He was doing his comprehension worksheet. It was a long answer and the two lines given on the worksheet were obviously insufficient for him to write his answer, no matter how small (the wordings) my 7 year old could write.

So I suggested, “Draw one more line in between that two lines, so that you have enough space to write the answer.”

Totally ignored me.
Keatkeat started to write the answer in super small handwriting.

I continued, “If you choose to write without drawing the extra line and if the space is insufficient, you will need to erase and write again.”

Showing Extreme Frustration, he picked up the ruler, clutched his pencil and drew a ‘here!-give-you-your-line.-now-shut-up’ kind of line. Totally crooked, slanted line; even though the ruler was placed on the paper. Then he glared at me, “Nah! Here’s your line!”

“Don’t give me that attitude!” I snapped.
I erased the awful line and said, “Fine! If you choose to write without drawing the extra line. Go Ahead!”

In the end, he could not squeeze his full answer in. In fact, he needed TWO extra lines to be drawn.

He looked at me after completing his sentence and said, “Ok! So you were right. Happy now?!”

Me: “Why did I ask you to draw the extra line?”
Keatkeat: “So that I can write the answer.”

Me: “After writing so much and realised you do not have enough space. How do you feel?”
Keatkeat: “Angry.”

Me: “When you were erasing your half written answer, how do you feel?”
Keatkeat: “Angry!”

Me: “Why are you angry?”
Keatkeat: “Because you are right again!”

Wow! Do you see that? My 7 year old wants to be ‘RIGHT’ or rather ‘BETTER’ than his Mother.

A clear sign of growing up. Significance and achievements have become a priority to him, regardless who he is against with.

Me: “What is the difference between an adult and a child?”
Keatkeat: “Age.”

Me: “An adult is older, which also means an adult has made more mistakes than a child. Yes?”
Keatkeat: “Yes.”

Me: “And from mistakes, we learn. Without making mistakes, we cannot be smarter. Yes?”
Keatkeat: “Yes.”

Me: “So why do you think I am right most of the time?”
Keatkeat: “Because you learn from your mistakes.”

Me: “Yes, I was once a child like you too. I was once a 7 year old. I made the same mistake as you in the past. I learnt from it. So I could tell that you needed to draw extra lines between that two lines given on the worksheet. Who do I want to help? Myself?”
Keatkeat: “No. You want to help me.”

Me: “Good. So can I continue to help you now?”
Keatkeat: “Ok.”

Me: “You missed out two words in your answer. Please erase and re-write.”
Keatkeat: “…………………”

One week March School Holiday is almost over. So many things have happened:
~Disciplinary issues
~Siblings squabbles
~Endless fun and outings
~Accidents
~Repair
~Breakdowns
~Visit from Angels…

But I think, the most significant event has to be THIS!

As stated in the ‘Teeth Development‘ post, Keatkeat is right on time for the Central Incisors to fall.

Two weeks ago, Keatkeat cried when he was halfway through his lunch. As parents, its tears on our son’s face, but a sword in our hearts. So loving Daddy wanted to end his misery earlier and attempted to pluck the Central Incisors out for Keatkeat. BUT FAILED! *laugh*

It was that shaky (above video) since last month. After the experience we had with his ‘First Shaky Tooth‘, the impatient father knew that visiting the dentist is not going to help. That was why he tried to BE the dentist!

Yesterday, while we were taking a break from our shopping, Keatkeat sat beside me and went, “Nih..Nih…” He was trying to balance his left tooth, on the tip of his tongue and preventing it from falling over.

Allan and I were so excited and kept praising our 7 year old boy.

I wrapped the fallen tooth nicely with tissue paper and in that split seconds, Keatkeat turned totally pale!

He was gagging and feeling giddy. So we ended our fun and went straight home.

There was no blood at all throughout the whole event. We were worried. But soon after an hour of rest at home, the active boy was back to normal and guess what? THE OTHER CENTRAL INCISOR FELL OFF TOO! *clap clap clap*

I guess the two central incisors are truly good friends. It was only an hour apart. One just cannot bear to leave the other. *laugh*

Now, Keatkeat giggles at his own pronounciation of ‘F’ and ‘S’….. it comes with extra wind and saliva too. *laugh*

What a memorable day! Its such a day that makes being a parent all worthwhile. *Grin*

This morning was Binbin’s year end ‘teachers-parents meet up session’. Most parents would look forward to this day, with a ‘hope for the best, prepare for the worst’ kind of mindset. *wink*

For Allan and I, we are more concerned about our child’s character development. For kids at 5, it is very easy for them to ‘pick up’ things, be it good or bad. Peer pressure is the key, once the child starts schooling.

His teacher’s feedback was one of the nicest thing that any parent would want to hear:

“I have only been with this school for 3 terms. When I first came, everything was new to me. The environment, the teachers and the students. I was still wondering how much time would I need to ‘bland’ into the new place.

Zen was the only kid who made me feel comfortable then. He was the first child who made me feel welcome. He would report to me about his classmates, his feelings, his thoughts. Very few children would go to the teacher for a chat. Most students go to a teacher either for a complain or to seek help. But Zen comes to me like a friend and chats with me.

“Zen is a very special boy. He always gives surprises and thinks out of the box. His perception of things are very different from his peers, whom I have taught before.

For example, this picture, he told me, “Miss S., I did not draw my face because I am looking at the food on the shelf and this black colour is my hair.” I was impressed.

“He is always showing concern for his classmates and very observant. He can even tell me how many days each of his friends have been absent from school. Even I had to catch up with his level of preciseness.” Miss S. laughed.

*giggle*

Of course, without fail, like all the other teachers, Miss S. went on to commend that Binbin has no problem expressing himself. Binbin’s Chinese teacher elaborated on his extend of expressiveness, “Zheng Bing would show his affection by hugging his friends, regardless of their gender.”

It was a bonus too, to hear from the teachers that Binbin’s academic results fall into the ‘Average Group’. *smile*

We hope that Binbin will continue his expressiveness, so long as he does not start grabbing girls to kiss. *giggle*
Nah.
He would not.
He has already made it loud and clear that he allows only his Mommy to kiss him and be kissed by him. *wink*

How important is Your Child’s Character Development to you?

Its been a really long time since I last had a poll appearing on this blog. So there is one today. *wink*

The ‘adult teeth’ are almost as tall as his milk teeth now. We have waited for weeks and the milk teeth still refused to drop by themselves.

Keatkeat’s loving grandmother thinks that we should NOT wait any longer and visit the Dentist as soon as possible.

**Updated at 10.08pm. After reading first few comments, I realised I forgot to say something VERY IMPORTANT. We took Keatkeat to his school dentist and She REFUSED to do it for him. She said: “Wait for them to drop out on their own.”

What say you?

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Updated on 10th March: Went to a private dental clinic and the dentist said the same thing as the school dentist. Let it fall out naturally. No extraction needed.

Backdated Post.
The Following Happened on 1 November 2009.

Keatkeat’s 5th year was a year of achievements. My slower-than-most-of-his-peers boy finally can do what he should have accomplish when he was 4 or even 3.

Not much frustration on my part because I Understand and Accept my boy’s development speed. My frowning comes from the constant nagging from my hubby about how less independent Keatkeat is compared to his peers and even his younger brother, Binbin. *eyes rolled*

Next year, when Keatkeat goes to Primary One, not being in the same school as Binbin, their Chinese Teacher would also stop comparing how Binbin is significantly better than his elder brother.

And finally, I no longer hear this remark from Strangers, “Are they Twins? (I shook my head with a smile) Then this must be GorGor (the Stranger points to Binbin! Instead of Keatkeat.).“

They are 1.8 years apart, but Binbin’s  motor skills is much better. When Binbin can catch a ‘flying’ ball, Keatkeat still could not till about a year later.

Seriously, I do NOT see this as a flaw that Keatkeat is ‘less capable’ than his younger brother. I see this as a BIG BONUS, because I can train BOTH at the same time! *wink* With this, I do NOT hear complains from the boys saying, “Mommy, not fair! Why he can learn to do this and I can’t.”

So here’s Keatkeat’s accomplishment during his 5th year:-

November 2008: Bathe and Dress Himself PROPERLY

December 2008: Brush His Own Teeth PROPERLY

January 2009: Eat Spicy Food

February 2009: Colour Without having White Patches and Within the Given Area (When he is in a good mood)

March 2009: Able to Read Most common Words

April 2009: Able to Use  Scissors to Cut along the line, even if its a curved line.

May 2009: Pour Water and Find Food to quench his thirst and satisfy his hunger/craving on his OWN.

June 2009: Initiates to Wear Briefs

July 2009: Handles Money, in terms of knowing how much to give and how much change he should get back, if he had given more.

August 2009: Helps in the preparation of Meals and what he prepares, he eats and fast too! So those 3 BIG POSTS about his bad eating habits are but History now.

September 2009: Use Chopsticks

October 2009: Wash his own bowl after a meal for the first time

But there is something that Keatkeat is way superior compared to his dad and mom when they were his age. Of cos’ also exceeded his younger brother’s capability. >>>> He is a Mathematician! (I wonder if he inherited the genes from my dad)

We noticed he is good with numbers when he was 3. I wonder if its due to helping me at my stall 3 years back before I became a SAHM.

His ability to understand the logic and the versatility that calculations offer has increased tremendously during this 5th year. Its really impressive!

On this last day of being 5, he prepared his goodies bag;

had a birthday celebration with his grandparents, cousins and their parents;

unwrapped his presents from them;and had a great time playing sparkles before we left my in-law’s place on Sunday 1 November 2009.